Quite clearly I remember Dr. Harley speaking of the fact that marriage retreats w/o follow up work do more harm than good.<P>The Marriage Builder Weekend has plenty of wonderful follow up material, yet I fear that I may be becoming part of that statistic. The POJA is not seeming to take hold in a positive manor. W likes it 5 nites per week, insists on "Girls nite out" on other nites, and issues silent treatment on average of one night per week as punishment for my short-comings.<P>We are doing the lessons, although we are about a week behind... The perfectionist (taker) in me has a hard time with this. I believe in the process and want so bad for this to work! Yet my defenses are up...<P>Sometimes it's great, sometimes it sucks. The most unfortunate twist that has come about is that the material that we are reading, and hopefully trying to initiate, is being more readily used as ammunition. It usually comes down to "the book says this..." or "We wrote down this...".<P>Many times I feel like nothing has changed, we've only been given new terminology to address and name the issues that we've always struggled with. Often we are arguing about POJA, the 15 hour per week time commitment (and the lack of fulfilling it -- whose fault it is this week...).<P>Surely I'm not alone in this... Feedback is nice... Ventilation has been adequate... [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]