It's been a while since I've posted here, but I decided to drop by for a quick visit today.

well first let me say, my divorce is finally final!

Just a quick recap, I Ihad to kick the ex out in jan 2003 when I was 7 months pregnant (with an 18 month year old in tow)

it was a very tough time for me, all the while he was living it up, acting like there were no consequences in life. Spending money like there was no tomorrow, blowing off his job, blowing off all his reponsiblitites.

In the last 10.5 months the ex has lost his job, lost his apartment (is now back with his parents), been admitted to a mental hospital, not seen his kids in months, been with quite a few women, and will probably be filing for bankruptcy soon.

Unfortunately for me, his family blames ME for his choices. basically if I'd been a better wife I wouldn't have DRIVEN him to make these choices!!!!

Personally I am in SUCH A BETTER place than I was one year ago! I realize that I deserve SO MUCH better than him. Although it's not easy to care for a 2 y 8 m old and an 8 month by myself, it's a lot easier than monitoring a 33 year old man.

I just wanted everyone to know, that there really is NOTHING TO FEAR. If you are in a bad relationship, march forward. you can't change someone, and things will get better. I hung on to hope for my marriage for MONTHS and MONTHS. Partly because i was still pregnant, or with a newborn... but I see now, for me, it wasn't fully motivated by LOVE, but by FEAR.

I'm so much happier now.