This has really been nagging me for awhile now!

Will I ever love someone other then my husband?

No not the guy that he now is, but my husband, the loving, caring, partner that I had for 21 years "that guy"? I still have a hard time when I think about my husband "that guy" dumping me the way that he did, that was so out of character for him.

As the holidays approach I guess I have reminsced some as to the things that we use to do "our traditions with our family" those things will never be again. I am starting new things with the kids and I.

I don't want the guy back that divorced me, but I want "that guy" back that was my husband. I want things the way that they use to be, not how they are now. I want for not!

I want someone to love me and to care me, as I want to love and care for someone, but when I think of this person my husbands face is the only one that I see in the picture, and I can't seem to erase that picture. Again I want for not!

I was the kind, loving, caring person that got dumped, not the person that was bad and has caused so much pain for those around them. But I am the person that is alone, and he has someone to care for and love, it's not fair!!!! Will my day come? Will another person come along for me? Can I erase xH face from the picture? I pray that someday the Lord will bring someone into my life again. But I am impatient, and want it to be now!!! Again I want for not!

Let me know if you feel some of the same things, I am feeling very much alone here!!!!

Good night all!!
Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dawn,

I know exactly what you're feeling. The same thoughts and fears are with me every day. My WAH was/is the love of my life. I was 32 when we married and had definitely kissed some frogs before meeting him. I'd been through some very tough breakups by then but even then I always had hope for future loves. Nothing felt remotely like this experience. I believe I may love someone else in the future, but I honestly cannot imagine loving anyone the way I've loved him. Leaves me feeling very very sad.

I wish I had some wise words for you but, in the meantime, wanted to just say I KNOW, I UNDERSTAND!

jaz,

I just needed to write out how I was feeling, and as I typed I knew there would be others that felt the same way!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Daybreak,
I think long term marriages are hard to get over. We have been with the same person so long, everything we do reminds us of the life we use to have. We will make new tradition but the memories will always be with us. In my marriage we were very happy for most of it and I have very fond memories of everything.

I haven't been alone for 23 years and it's a hard pill to swallow. I love to love and be loved but our time will come, it has too. We have to believe that it will happen some day. I have been having a real tough time for this is our first holidays with out H. Just walking in stores sometimes makes me cry because I remember us shopping together, seeing santa and all the little one. I long for those happy times again.

Coming here and seeing we are not alone helps also like the song my Rod Stewart know I think Michelle Branch sings it "The first cut is the deepest" Those words to that song say it all. We will find love again.

Your in my thoughts,
LJ

I thought the same thing initially......I was with my EX for 16yrs.....married for 10. I figured I would never, ever marry again.....basically I told myself thats it.....single for the rest of my life. I just didnt want to start over with someone else.....then BLAM! It just happened, I met someone that was just too perfect for me.....and I married her. She had a pretty bad marriage and we had alot of sharing to do. One thing that has helped us is the fact that we both came from relationships where the other partner only thought of themselves and we pariticipants in affairs. We are both giving people who would never consider hurting each other in that way......our past hurts have strengthened our relationship.

I was married for 26 years and it died a sudden (infedelity induced) death this year. I have never been alone either, until the last 8 months. If we trust in God to take care of us, God will bring us together with the correct person at some point. It may be our former spouses, it may be someone new. And like the previous post said, it will most likely happen all of a sudden without much warning.

Tim

I hope that finding love again with someone else is true and will happen for me. My husband just told me that our marriage is over, so lonely.

It's shocking to me that I am here, alone, sad and so very scared. For the first time in my life I am living alone and acting like the responsible adult my parents once told me I would have to become. I sincerely pray that God will give me a opportunity to Love and Be Loved again, the way I and everyone deserves to be loved and respected. After 10 years how can someone change so much, how can a man I use to love more than anything in life, lie and betray me this way.

A piece of me would like to hear that he is going through a terrible time and that one day, VERY soon he was to realize what he left me for. But then I realize who am I to judge and that what you wish to others, even silently will come back to you. So I leave it in Gods hands, and pray that he will show me how to love again!
<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I hope that finding love again with someone else is true and will happen for me. My husband just told me that our marriage is over, so lonely.

I'll jump on the badwagon too.

It's hard for me to even think about someone else in my life.My WH and I starting dating at 18yo.We have been together more than half our lives.I want the H back that I knew and loved too but that's not realistic right now.

I love the idea of being married and growing old with that special person in your life.I'm not sure that will happen for me anymore but I can hope.If it's not with a new and improved WH then I hope to be blessed with another caring man who considers family very important.

O

Yes, I was married for 25 years. And yes, I was dumped by my xhusband, and abused emotionally and physically. Surgery result of his abuse. This is my real first thanksgiving of not being married and I invited my x and his mother, which she will always be invited. Next year, x will have to find a different path, unless my feelings change.

This christmas is going to be very difficult. For I told the kids (older 17-25 (4) in all) live with me that there will be very little gifts. I don't have the money, and I am still recovering from surgery and abuse. Also, I stated to them that the gifts is not the real reason, for I would love for all of them to attend church with me. I found a wonderful church that has grown to only 9 of us attending at first to now about 150. We opened the church at Easter, and it has been a blessing to see this church grow so fast. There is a need for spiritual growth out in this world. So I am taking my time to enjoy my church family, and putting my time into my church family. The kids will have to decide about christmas service, for I told them I will be going, regardless. Sad to hear that they don't think church is important. Part of their dads statements too.

Hoping that one day I am to love someone very dear. To give all the love that I have, and be special to someone. I was a good mother, wife, and a respectful spouse. I loved my husband, and loved his intelligence. He found another love in his life, and decided to consumate his love with her. This will be a difficult year, but trying to focus on Jesus birth.

I wonder if God will bring someone to my life too. Seems the wayward spouses gets the lies, deceit, denial, justification, and all the trimmings. While we try to grasp any crumbs flying by in the wind. PUtting my trust in God, and hoping that someday, I will be able to put my arms around my husband and give him a big hug and kiss. Whomever it should be, my x or someone new.

Wow!

I am pleased to see so many posting here. I felt alone but knew that I wasn't alone.

And I know that someday for all of us there will be that "someone". It will be in the Lords time and not ours, sometimes that is the hardest part, waiting!!!!!

Keep posting and supporting each other, it is nice to come here and read that we are not alone with our thoughts and feelings that many others have some of the same thoughts.

God Bless all!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

It seems the hardest part is the waiting.... but my feeling is that it is worth the wait..... The other thing I feel good about in this is that I have learned so much..... not like the ones that walk away thinking that love just happens..... and that love is magical..... I now know what it takes to make that love enduring and unconditional...... To me that makes people like you and I that are here special..... and it also makes me feel that there is a brighter tomorrow with someone.......

Unlike you.... I lost my faith in god through all this.... cause I was asking or seeking his help to relieve the pain, to save the marriage, etc... but I did learn only we can help ourselves.... and to do so we have to suffer..... but suffering can be a very valuable teacher..... in both giving new strength and also the lesson to learn.....

Take care.... as others have said.....suddenly it will happen.... are you truly prepared?

So George --- what is it you are 'waiting' for???

Seriously.

I think that was the difference for me - early on - I wondered what I was waiting for and when I could define that - it was okay to move forward.

I still do the rethinking the moment part - quite often. What am I getting from 'this relationship' and what am I giving to 'this relationship' - and I'm finding it more often on the 'friendship' side than the romantic side --- you and other friends keep me on the toes 'romantically' --- I have to rethink telling you all anything - because you annylize (however you spell that danged word) me and I end up questioning my logic... but the reality is I've come a long way, baby. I'm still growing and learning - and challenging myself to be better.

But what I've found over the last two years is - I have a lot of love to give to the right person - and I don't want to waste it on the wrong ones anymore. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> (Wrong ones are those who give nothing back.)

Hugs,

Jan

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Will I ever love someone other then my husband? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't think so. I don't want to. Its too much work to even think of it and why waste more time and energy. I'm done with men when this one gets the divorce papers for me to sign. I've had it.

My heart breaks as I write this. What a waste of my life!!!!

Adrift45

Hi Dawnie - as you can see, you're not alone.

But, don't plan on staying that way! I didn't!

May I offer a suggestion?

Stop looking for your former husband. Perhaps you're "looking for love in all the wrong places"?

Instead, broaden your view to look for love in other "places" - in other types of candidates. You cannot clone your former husband, nor should you - you might get the same result! No two of us guys are alike. You might find some of the differences appealing - and the research fun!

So, when you're ready, kick yourself in the butt and get out there. You will not fail.