First time here.

We married in August 2000 (Both Virgins)

It all began Sept. 10. 2003
She told me she didn't love me anymore.

She said she married too young (19 years old)
She said she would have liked to be single for a while, not to do anything bad, but just be on her own. Be her own head, not her moms, not her husbands, but her own.

She says she would have still chosen me later to marry.

Well, after she told me she didn't love me she told me she was contemplating seperation. Not to be with someone else, just be alone.

A week later (Sept 28) she had a one night stand.

She confessed three days later.

I always said I would never forgive something like that but once it happened, I fell in dispair and wanted to resolve it.

I begged her to take ME back (and I didn't do anything wrong) She cheated, not me.

I can't believe I begged. But I did.

She says it only happened once, and she dosen't even love the person, she says she was frustrated and was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

However, after all that has happened, she says she can't forgive herself and dosen't want to fix the marriage. We signed the divorce papers a month ago. Now were just waiting for the papers to arrive.

She says I was a great husband, she dosen't want to marry again. She just wants to be alone. She says she wouldn't re-marry unless its me.

But I asked her to lets work it out, she says no.
She says if she would go back in time, she wouldn't have had that one night stand but she would seperate anyway.

She says we're different, but all she wanted me to fix I am working on, all she wanted me to fix is petty. She says she rather be alone and not have to be resonsible for no one.

She says she still misses me, but she rather be alone.

We were married 3 years and been together for seven (1 year Friends first, 3 years dated& engaged and 3 years married).

How can someone just forget 7 years, not even say what was bothering her, then cheat, and after it all not even want me back.

She says she's sorry, but she dosen't cry, she hasn't repeated the offense, but she acts cold sometimes.

I ask myself how can someone do so much harm and not try to repair it?

Just move on like that as if nothing happened?

She probably did get married a bit too young......same as my EX....always wanted to be on her own.....she said this for years after we married. I was with her since she was 16yrs old and together for 16yrs......she finally divorced me. I had to let her go........even with 2 kids.....I got tired. Anyhow, you have no kids.....memories yes, but at least no children. I would let her go If I were you, she will always hear the call of freedom......until she gets it. This issue will almost certainly always come up until you let her go. Chances are, once she is out there......gets dogged a few times by the professional playa.....she will come running back to you. My EX wanted freedom, I gave it to her, and she is a miserable mess.

Well what you post speaks for itself. She now feels she was not ready. Probably sparked by feelings for someone else and thus doubting feelings for you..... and hence she wants freedom... The rest of the story sounds like she is just trying to minimize the hurt for you. At least that is nice of her. But I will bet shortly she will either show up with this one night stand or someone else..... as a couple....

Why after 7 years? well it does fall in line with the touted 7 yr itch theory..... it also falls in line with the Withdrawn Spouse Theory.... where they start to express doubt, past happiness, etc.

Your right luckily we didn't have kids, however, if we did maybe none of this would had happened.

She was a good girl, innocent girl. I still can't belive she would commit adultery. She can't beleive she did it.

However, I want her back now, I don't want her to be chewed up and spit out by this world.

Although it would be a dream come true for her to come crawling back someday, I don't want that to happen to her. I still love her, or still love the person she was.

How could she just put all that we had aside all that could have been, the pleasures of marriage the pleasures of companionship versus being alone.
She says she dosen't want to be in any romantic relationship, she says she dosn't want to sleep with anyone. All she wants is to be alone.


Alone vs. marriage (a marriage that would be better, since we'll work on all that we were lacking)

I don't get it.

She says she happy being alone. But she says she misses me. She says she sometimes dosen't want to be alone in the house and goes to the movies by herself. She never wants to sleep alone, always invites her sister or a girlfriend over. She says she now reads a lot and hears a lot of music. She does her feet often and studies alot for school and sometimes just sits around. How can this be so much better than marriage?

When we wre married we went out on vacations all the time, spoke all the time, made love. Went out. How can being alone be better than being married?

She said she married the best husband just had wrong timming. I don't understand.

First of all......IT STILL WOULD HAVE HAPPENED with kids or not.

Second of all people change, just like my EX....I would never dream should would have an affair either.....she despised cheaters.

Thirdly, dont be fooled by the "I want to be alone" talk.....my EX said the same thing.....now she is dating a married man.....for the last 1-1/2yrs.

I don't believe she will go back to that person. After the one night stand she told him it was mistake and not to call her again.

She says she dosen't love him and is not even attracted to him. She can't believ she fell for him that night. She knows he's a player and she knows she was just another one.

She says she feels disgusted for what she did.

As for him , he was a mistake and she told him she is ashamed for what happened.

He even called her and told her to do it again, and she told him: You think because it happened once it will happen again? and then hanged up.

I don't beleive she'll go back or will fall for anyone else by that matter, although she did commit adultery I still beleive she still has biblical morals. She was just frustrated by somethings in our marriage (which if she has spoken to me about could have easily been fixed) and fell that night.

Im just saying dont be naive and people.....even believers fall short. If she had biblical values....she would keep her marriage in tact. Think my friend, think. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />