Yes, things are seemingly starting to turn.
Just received a call from W. Said she wanted to meet tomorrow and discuss R. Also said she was going to call attorney and put hold on D papers. Said she wanted to be my W.
Any advice on how to handle this meeting with her would be appriciated.
Thank you

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by oakachubby1:
<strong> W said she wanted to meet tomorrow and discuss R. Also said she was going to call attorney and put hold on D papers. Said she wanted to be my W.
Any advice on how to handle this meeting with her would be appriciated.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Stay in Plan A. Be loving, NO pressure. NO LB....no matter what she says. Try to meet EN's that you can. Keep quiet mostly and LISTEN to her when she is talking.

Make it safe for her to be with you, to talk to you. Did I mention DO NOT LB???

Read up on LB's before this meeting.

God Bless,

HI!

To restate and paraphrase Wiftty and Lup. Be patient, listen and demonstrate by your words and your behavior that it will be safe and a good idea for her to come home.

And you didn't answer Wiftty's question about what behaviors she found threatening or what behaviors would suggest to her that she would be unwise to live with you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

That is essential knowledge. If not for us, for you. Because if do repeat a behavior that she finds threatening even once, she'll withdrawal.

oakachubby1,

How did the meeting go with your wife?

It's very difficult to answer your questions when you aren't providing very much information--

And if this is the way you speak to your wife--then no wonder she has been frustrated and withdrawn--you made a comment that you told her she needs to tell you when she has a problem and what the problem is---

Well, my dear friend, YOU need to do the same thing--if your wanting help--

So far the only thing we know is your wife left you--and we understand most women do not just leave their marriages for no reason--

So what behaviors of yours--have caused your wife to want to leave you?

Are you not open and honest with her about your comings and goings?

Have you been selfish, putting yourself first? putting work before your marriage? putting your friends before your marriage?

Have you hit her? verbally put her down?

As you can see, I'm speculating--because you haven't provided anything--

Help us out here--your the one asking for help--what do you think based on you looking back on your marriage--why would she want to leave you?


And Plan A isn't just about an affair--

It's learning to treat your spouse with respect as a person--

by changing YOUR OWN behaviors that have caused the emotional withdraw from your relationship--