My story seems to be a recurring one on these boards. It still doesn't alleviate the pain.

Three weeks ago my wife of 11 1/2 years told me she didn't love me anymore and she doesn't want to try and get it back. It was a shock to me as well as to her family and friends. Sure, we have had some difficulties in our marriage, but we always seemed to work through them. She says that she has been unhappy with her life for the last 3 years. Not just unhappy with me but unhappy with trying to please everyone. She is also tired of feeling the guilt when she doesn't do things for others. This guilt, unfortunately, is put on her by herself and not others.

Her solution to her unhappiness? Divorce me... That is where we are headed. We have 3 (9,6,4)beautiful children that don't know anything about this yet. She is waiting until after the holidays before she wants to fill them in.

Our history was a good one. Lots of laughs, a few problems. Typical life, just as anyone else. I got laid off a job 3 years ago right after moving into a newer, larger house. It made me very nervous with no money coming in. I found another job and thought things were fine. She also got out of school and started working weekends as a nurse at a local hospital.

Over the next couple of years, her spending habits went up and my nagging about money went up as well. Along with that, my new company has gone through 5 layoffs. Since I didn't want to get let go again, especially in this economy, I began working a lot to make sure that I excelled and wasn't thrown into the next layoff bucket. I would bring my laptop home and work after the kids went to bed. Not every night, but a couple of times a week. This started to cause the distance between us. She told me two years ago that she felt like we were distant and growing apart. I can see that now. My work and her working weekends never left us any time alone with each other. Couple that with 3 kids, sports, school, new yard, etc. You can see the dilemma.

I am not even sure who she is anymore. Along with the reasons as to why the love died, she also says that she wants to find herself and is reading a ton of self-help books. These books are centered around finding your soul mate, finding your purpose in life, spiritual steps to a loving relationship, etc. She is telling me that we connected years ago at the physical level and then emotionally. She wants to find someone to connect with in the sould, then the emotional level and then the physical. This week she went to a clairvoyant. She won't tell me what was told to her but I have received information from others that the clairvoyant validated her feelings. That was the nail in the coffin for me. That day, she started on the divorce path. What is going on???? This is so surreal, it can't be happening.

Anyways, we are separated but still living together. She is gathering all financial information and preparing herself for divorce. We are seeing a counselor together and separately. She has also agreed for us to go see our pastor at the church. Her reasons for going? To find out why she feels the way she does and to understand what happened. She will not agree to try and fix the relationship, instead she seems to want out. Her actions are telling me that, not her words.

I have tried everything that I can to convince her to give us a chance. I have now backed off and just told her whatever happens, I want to be her friend. How much more could I, or should I, do?

Thanks for reading and please offer any suggestions that you can...

God Bless.

Dear Hurting,

Those of us on the boards who have had a spouse tell us they want to "find myself" and that they've "been unhappy for X time" often find out the other party has been unfaithful.

Does she have a cell phone? Do you see the bills? Has she changed her circle of friends? (divorced people, partiers, clubbers) instead of her old friends?

Has she bought fancy new lingerie that she doesn't wear around you?

Here's my guess: She's working weekends at a hospital, she's young and nice looking, and she's thinking she can find a more prosperous man.

Just my thoughts.

Belle,

Not surprised that you picked up on it. There were some details that I left out.

She does have an "attraction" to a Dr. at the hospital. She says that it is just an attraction and they haven't even had a personal conversation. I do find that she gets on the internet every day and goes to a particular website that has his picture on it. EVERY DAY... I have since locked that website by using the firewall software. We'll have to wait and see her response when she can't ever get to it again.

She doesn't see this Dr. often. He is on another shift. They cross paths once a month or so. I believe it may just be an attraction and that is it because there are no other indicators as of yet. I'll keep you posted.

As for the working on the weekends, she is young (34) and good looking. She may think that she wants someone more prosperous. Not sure if it is financially, professionally, or what have you. I believe I make as much if not more than the Dr. so a financial motivator may not be it.

No new lingerie in the house, at least that I have seen. Some new shirts with deeper openings in the front. My wife is usually a very modest person so this has been intersting to see the last couple of weeks.

I could see how some of this ties together, especially with the books about "Finding your SoulMate" and "7 steps to a spiritual relationship". Could this be a sign? Who knows.

HurtinginGa,

I am not divorced, but I am starting to feel about like you say your W says she does, and my H will be in for a rude awakening if he doesn't get on the stick. I have told him, begged , pleaded, cried, screamed and written letters no response.
Is it possible that your W tried to reach you about problem she saw happening, distancing ect. in the marriage ? Did you listen ? Did you make the changes she needed ?

She may not be involved with anyone else at this point, but from the books she is reading ect. She is looking for a relationship with more meaning, depth and passion than she feels you are giving her. My advice would be to ask her to loan you some of those books, read them darn it and talk with her about what you have read. Show her that you are willing and able to give her what she is looking for. Does she feel you love her ? Honestly 100% , like she is more important to you than any living human being walking this planet ?
If not then you can work on that.

Deb,

Two years ago she did say that she felt like we were becoming distant and growing apart. We had a long discussion about it and she couldn't really explain it too well. She couldn't pinpoint exact reasons as to why but she was just starting to feel that way. I didn't have a lot to hold on to in the way of changing any habits or other things about our relationship. I just tried to be a better H all around.

As for a letter, she did send me one the end of September. In it, she was upset about my work schedule and that my work calls me after hours a lot. Those were the two main issues. I curtailed the working at nights and shut the cell off when I walk in the door. I thought that would fix the problems, now I know that it didn't.

Reading the books is a good idea. I have already started reading one of them, but for a different reason. I wanted to find out what it said so I could try to figure out where she was headed with all of this. I will change my view of the book and read it for what it is and try to learn from what it is saying.

Hello fellow Georgian...Sorry you're here though.

I may be of help. Am a medical professional and newly single gal out every day, not just weekends mind you, in the medical community. And went thru a very messy divorce with a WS who has now knocked up his mistress and I have basically nothing to do with him. Despite his trying to make excuses for us having contact.

Ok. Women are emotional creatures. Plus, I have to tell you that in nursing school, they teach this psychobabble when you go through psych rotations. I even had a course once (have degree but am not a nurse; almost went to med school as well)on wholistic medicine and mostly nursing students were in it with me. She's buying into that psychobabble garbage they throw out there. And it's not uncommon. I saw alot of it. She's nurtured children and you and thinks she may have missed out on something. Suddenly she's making her own money and doing her own thing...on weekends. It's a life away from home for first time possibly. I know first hand. And yea, guys are present in the workplace.

IMHO, she's probably either had lunch, frequent conversations, or a full blown affair. All the signals are there my friend. And since GA is a fault state, you need to get phone records, cell records, and computer records. Find out how to log in keystrokes in computer but be very stealth about it.

I'd do everything possible to save it, but all the while keep explicit records of what she's doing and her behaviors and the phone records, cell, computer, etc. I'd even invest in a p.i. to follow her when her behavior gets rather strange and see wht she's up to on weekends when she works.

FYI..I have a friend who's a drug rep and he was married to a nurse who had an affair when she was sent on an assignment to another city. She married OM day after their divorce was final and didn't tell anybody about it for over four mos.

She is fogged my friend. And in the psychobabble fog kind of way. I suggest finding my pal Orchid here who is an expert in using reverse babble to communicate to your WS. She's a MB success story!

Remember, nothing you say right now until you master this technique will work. I suggest you opt the same attitude she is taking right now. Ask to borrow some of her "self help" books. I suggest you going out to bookstore and buying "Self Matters" by Dr. Phil. Don't say a word to her and just start reading it when she's around and start spouting out some of the same stuff. Like "we teach others how to treat us" and stuff he says. Tell her you know exactly how she's feeling and you too believe you've been shortchanged out of life. Toss some babble back at her. Mirror what she's doing but when she comes to you to talk, be there 100 percent and spout some more psychobabble out to her as well. She would love it. I once learned this and only use it now with xWH when I have to get something from him or need something. Works like a charm.

Hire attorney and start giving them information. You can always fire the attorney should you get back together. Now is crucial. You need to be strong and keep your wits about you. For a while you're going to have to do double duty..On 1 hand you are wanting to make sure you are protected legally and your ducks are in a row should she continue down Foggy Street or on the other hand, you should try to do what you can to disarm her and her fog and save it.

My x only responded to that kind of behavior but it wasn't enough. He kept dancing down foggy street and is now going to be a dad to a girl in less than three mos. Our d was final a week ago btw...His ow is unemployed, no education, model who can't work (and I hope she gets stretch marks from hell and the world's largest episiotomy ha ha ha ha ha)and is an idiot. You get what you deserve in the end. And I hate to tell you...Unless this doctor is a complete jerk, he is like any other guy. Would want to fool around probably, but the whole married and has several kids thing is a major turnoff and more trouble than worth...Mostly just one night stand material if you ask me. But this is the stuff I hear day in and day out from other docs and other people I work with. It's sad but true. She may be gunnin
for nothing here. I know. I am a very attractive professional and do get asked out alot but am not ready for the dating thing quite just yet. And I know b/c the guys ask about my being a mom of one, the schedule I keep, do I have alot of free time, etc. I know what they're thinking.

She's just really foggy and listening to a bunch of psycho poop from her nursing buddies. No slam to nurses here, I have good friends who are, but she's a new grad and more likely after having the classes to buy into that stupidity really than thus who've been out there for a while...I graduated from college ten years ago and have had some time under my belt to really understand that all they teach even in medical professions is theory and not always applicable to real world. She's just fogged and is having ImHO, a midlife crisis thing.

Dear Hurting,

Yes, it's an old, familiar story. One most of us here have heard and dealt with. My suggestion about what you should read is to start with the Concepts pages on this site. Have you read any of that? If not, I highly recommend you read every single thing on there!

Particularly important is the EN's section (Emotional Needs). It sounds like your W has been trying to tell you about EN's not being met. Do you even know what her top 5 EN's are? If Affection, Conversation or Admiration is tops, my guess is that some (maybe more than one) person at her new job has been meeting those needs somewhat by complimenting her, talking with her, etc. You need to go back to meeting her EN's.

She probably won't tell you what they are, but you can deduce it yourself. You can either guess around about it, try to figure it out, OR take the ENQ. I took it first time as my H(since he was already out of the house) <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> and believe me, I was shocked!! I had no idea about some of his EN's. Even worse was that I had not been fulfilling them at all for a very long time. No wonder he fell - hook, line and sinker - when someone came along while we were doing "life" and shook him up by Admiring him.........Appreciating him.......well, you get the picture.

From the sounds of the letter, it sounds like TIME together is what she wanted. While I doubt she would want that NOW, I suspect her EN's are tied up in the time she wanted from you then. Either conversation, or RC (recreation companionship) or might be something else.

You've got work to do, Hurting! Better get busy! While it's not looking good right now, we're all here to tell you it's NOT a totally lost case, either! Find out all about Plan A, then DO IT!

We will all be here to encourage you every step of the way. I see you signed off with "God Bless...." Hurting, if you are a Christian, I suggest you start praying now, too! Ask God to show you what your part in the breakdown of your M is, and repent and fix it now.

There's plenty you can do, time to get to work! They don't call this place Marriage Builders for nothin'! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

God Bless,

I am not saying to pray or anything like that...Just be real about things. I prayed until I would fall asleep at night. There are some people that do not listen and that's their deal.

You can do as I suggested and 1)prepare yourself legally as GA is a fault state. You need to do this if she's spouting out divorce already. This is just being smart ok? one can also do what I did and miss good opportunities to legally better yourself because I deluded myself by staying in plan A far too long. You need to read here and decide for yourself. Some spouses need a sharp wake up call and yours may be one of them. Also 2)you can work on your m, but also don't neglect number one right now.

All faith aside, my x would have even s*rewed me much more financially than he already did had I not woken up and legally made a stand for myself and for my child. Not all people will respond as we want them to do despite our best intentions. That needs to be known. Not all spouses come back either. Some do, realize the errors in their ways and do that. Others dance like mine has done, further down the foggy street.

Just be smart ok? God allows divorce but only in certain circumstances and unrepented adultery and desertion are two. We are NOT here to discuss one's belief system, just to help you figure out what you should do. And you should do both. Work on M as long as there is a viable chance. And also protect yourself and the kids legally. I can tell you nothing hurts more than seeing your kids subjected to being around a WS and their lover and their children. It's dad gum wrong. And your county may see the light as well. My fault here in GA was an xH who had more liquid assets than you can shake a stick at and he witheld paying us and forced me basically into accepting less than I could and I couldn't fight him as we were less than four days away from divorce court trial and I couldn't afford the trial.

So get your ducks lined up now. Force her hand legally if you have to. But don't do as I did. I waited too long and wish I had hit him hard in the beginning and gone from a short but very effective plan A to a sharp plan B and divorce following. He took advantage of me when in a long plan A.

Get smart. Do the right thing as even our God blesses us with a smart mind and wants us to not have to endure such things as this. But not giving up on our marriages without one damn good fight either. You gotta weigh it and decide when the time is right to cash in the chips and let the lawyers handle it. I pray it doesn't get there, but you need real solutions right now. And you need to judge what to do based on her actions not her words. She is foggy and is probably having either an affair or a midlife crisis and wanting an affair. I say hire the p.i. and find out what's really going on. I did do that and can tell you that it changed my tune completely. I no longer thought I was losing my mind and knew what and who I was up against. That helped me make the first move. Even up to probably feb. of this year, I might have considered reconciliation but now with his actions being as blatant as they are and his inability to change, and the baby on the way with OW, I am out. Outta this and healing quite well. God's also made it very clear that I am not some punching bag who is supposed to stand by and endure years of emotional abuse via infidelity.

Hurting,
My story is alot like yours. My x is a nurse and was working afternoons and every other weekend, so we did grow apart. I also travled heavily for 3 yrs.

My x met someone at work that promised her the moon(vacations anytime, smaller house(not that we had a huge one) he would help with the housework and no yardwork for her, etc, and she was suceptable to that and bought in.

She refused to see that he was a louse, 3 affairs, fired from 3 jobs, because she thought he was her soulmate. She was always big into the soulmate thing, although she never said I was.

To me it sounds like the classic reason why women leave men, we ignore them until it is too late. By then they have given up on the relationship and either have someone in mind or already have someone.

It sounds like your w may be having a EZ with this Dr. You say they don't have contact much, but it could be they are sharing time together,such as having coffee, that how my x's affair started.

She told me they took coffee breaks together, and just talked about everything. She blamed me for not doing this, but its next to impossible when you don't see each other.

The only thing you can do now is Plan A and work on showing her you can be the husband she needs.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by HurtinginGA:
<strong>Three weeks ago my wife of 11 1/2 years told me she didn't love me anymore and she doesn't want to try and get it back. ... She says that she has been unhappy with her life for the last 3 years. Not just unhappy with me but unhappy with trying to please everyone. She is also tired of feeling the guilt when she doesn't do things for others. This guilt, unfortunately, is put on her by herself and not others.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your wife sounds exactly like I did at the end of my first marriage. I felt like I was in the middle of a nervous breakdown brought on by spending years and years trying to make everyone else happy, losing touch with what I even wanted in or from life, and being married to a reasonably nice man who was clueless.
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Her solution to her unhappiness? Divorce me...
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">By the time I got to that point in my marriage (after 15 years, 2 kids, H unemployed for a few years), divorce was my only answer as well. For me, it would have been much too late for MB to work in my relationship. I had tried, and tried, and tried for years. My education is in clinical psychology, so I pretty much live that "psycho-babble" someone else referred to. We had tried counseling, we had tried fighting, I had begged him to read books on communication, I had spelled out exactly what I thought I needed. He meant well, he would try for a few weeks, but couldn't sustain it.

<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
I am not even sure who she is anymore.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am certain that my ex-H felt this way as well. The dreadful thing was, that *I* didn't know who I was anymore; your wife seems to be telling you the same thing.
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Anyways, we are separated but still living together.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oddly enough, also what my ex-H and I did. I moved into another bedroom and set about putting our lives in order for the divorce. I moved out 3 months after I told him I wanted a divorce.

<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
We are seeing a counselor together and separately. She has also agreed for us to go see our pastor at the church. Her reasons for going? To find out why she feels the way she does and to understand what happened. She will not agree to try and fix the relationship, instead she seems to want out. Her actions are telling me that, not her words.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think this sounds quite optimistic, actually. And in this regard, she sounds like she might be more willing to work on the marriage than I was. By the time I started the divorce, I was no longer willing to do any couples counseling.

Can you ask her to give you 6 months to try and rekindle, rebuild, and restore your relationships? And then both give MB everything you've got in terms of learning about your emotional needs and filling them. If she's already reading self-help books, she should find His Needs, Her Needs quite interesting.

And although I can't judge for your wife, in my situation I was most certainly NOT having an affair!! What had changed, though, was my doing a whole lot of reading online (this was at the advent of the internet era). I had discovered that there seemed to be millions of happy people, in loving, intimate, committed relationships. I had assumed that my "half-life" of pleasing everyone else, and no intimacy with my H was the way everyone lived. When I learned there might really be a chance at something better, I grabbed it with both hands.

Encourage your wife to read here, and get her the books recommended on the site.

K

All,

Thanks for the excellent responses and options. Some of them were very enlightening and I have already put them into play.

justpeachy - you are pretty accurate about the psychobabble. It seems as though every time she comes home from work on the weekends, she has different psychoanalytical issues. I can just picture her contemplating all of this with her nurse friends all day and these deductions are the result of it.

As for spouting psychobabble back at her, I have done a little of that lately. Don't think it hit home. Read below about my ENs not being met the last couple of years. I explained to her that mine weren't met either but I wasn't the one that was ready to divorce. Hoping that she focuses a little on this.

I too believe she is fogged. She seems confused still and doesn't understand why she feels this way and just wants to know what happened. She says that she doesn't expect me to EVER understand why this is happening or why we will be divorced.

I also believe that she is trying to convince herself that her gut is right. She seems hung out in the wind right now and hasn't made the final decision yet but the way she talks and acts seems as though she is trying to squash any uncertainty and doubt and just move on. She is a very headstrong individual and she has never changed her mind in the past once she gets going in a particular direction. I'm concerned that this is another instance of that. She has started down this road, we are well down it, there are a lot of friends and family that know our situation and she doesn't want to waiver from what she started. Make sense?

lupolady - I do admit that I missed some of the important ENs over the last couple of years. I can guarantee you that she missed almost all of mine but my love has not faltered. I love her with everything that I am and nothing less. I understand that our lives are hectic with the split work schedule, three kids, family, sports, school work, etc.. I have been able to move beyond the missing ENs being met by her but she is not able to. Is it too late to recover this? Still waiting to find out.

KS41 - I did ask for 6 months to work it out. She didn't respond. The problem is, she doesn't want to work it out. She just wants to understand why she feels this way and why it happened. Learn from these mistakes and move on. Without me. Period.

Today we went to see the pastor at our church. It was something I probably should have done a few weeks ago when she initially informed me. Her mind is already made up and headed for divorce so she went to gain comfort from the church.

The pastor comforted her somewhat but also recommended to her that in order to stand before God and say that she tried absolutely everything to rebuild her marriage and home, that she should go through Christain counseling and attempt to reconcile. Still sinking in with her right now. I'll update you if anything changes.

God Bless

I hope the pastor had some effect on her. Being a Christian is the only thing that has kept me clinging on this long. Life on earth is so temporary, Maybe she is just going through a thing. Keep trying dont give up, and be sure to focus on your kids, I am sure they are feeling the tension too.
God Bless, and good luck <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dear Hurting,
Well it's certainly good news that your pastor is tyring to get her to face God before making such a monumental decision.

Please understand that only God can speak to her heart at this time. This is good news, b/c God does not want your M broken up. I am probably in the minority here when I say that I believe God CAN "heal" virtually ALL Marriages!

Here are a couple of web sites for you to visit:
http://rejoiceministries.org/
http://www.restorem.net

There are others as well.
Both of these couples suffered from infidelity, but God was faithful (cause the BS was faithful to HIM!), and their M's were restored. It was the knowledge that God CAN use this mess to build us up, fix us, and fix our M's, that has kept me going for almost 3 years!!!

In the meantime, YOU have to face God as well. As we are fond of saying at this web-site, your M didn't get into this state without help from both of you. Face your portion of responsibility for the breakdown of your M, and ask God what He wants YOU to do to fix that (around here we call this Plan A).

While you are fixing YOU, God will be working on your W! Have you heard of the book "The Power of a Praying Husband"? The author is Stormie Omartian, and she has written one for both husbands and wives. It has specific chapters to help you pray to spiritually build up your spouse - one for every day of the month. This might be a good place for you to start, if you are not in the habit of praying regularly for your wife.

Keep us posted on your progress! I am very optimistic for you (even tho it may not look like there is anything to be optimistic about!)! Hurting, GOD CAN (AND WANTS TO) FIX YOUR MARRIAGE!!!

Are you up to the challenge of becoming the husband He wants YOU to be??? WHEN you are that man, I believe He will work out your differences and bring your W around.

God Bless,

Hurtinginga

I would pay particular attention to the medical doctor that she fancies. Doctors may take call in a certain hospital on a rotating basis but they frequently see patients in the same hospital on a regular basis. She may be seeing him more that she is telling you.

Also, some doctors have affairs like water off a ducks back. I have a doctor friend who has been married 4 time has 5 kids and works his behind off just to pay for his past affairs and ex wife’s.

I have seen far to many people hurt due to an affair between a nurse and a doctor to not at least alert you to the possibility.

Beau

Lupolady,

Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. I too believe that God wants to fix my M and I know that he is already trying.

We started Christian counseling yesterday at our church. We will both be going there for IC as well. She has agreed to go for at least 4 months and is going with an open mind. She says she is still skeptical but won't tell me what she is skeptical of. I am thinking that she just doesn't believe that she can fall back in love with me again.

I am still somewhat optimistic but still have my down days when I feel that she is gone. Her actions are definitely speaking louder than her words to me. She is still looking for a new car to downsize from her current one, looking for places to live, buying new divorce books and reading on how to explain divorce to your kids.

My only hope is that she puts these things aside for the next few months and starts reading some of my books (LB, HNHN, DivorceBusting, etc.). If I can pull her mind out of the divorce area and onto rebuilding, then I feel that I have a better chance. Any suggestions on doing this without seeming too pushy?

One more thing....

Looking for suggestions on how to tackle the next 4 months. I have started a Plan A of sorts about 2 weeks ago. Not sure of the effect yet but she has at least agreed to the longer counseling timeframe. Maybe the Plan is working.

Do I stick with this Plan or start being a little more aggressive in the approach?

God Bless

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

This got posted before I got finished with it!
See below for the entire message:

<small>[ December 20, 2003, 08:10 AM: Message edited by: lupolady ]</small>

Stick with Plan A....

Listen, Hurting, Plan A is a life style change designed to teach you the proper way to TREAT YOUR SPOUSE. Obviously, neglecting our S's EN's is what got all of us here!

By implementing a system, or manner of acting that meets those EN's, we are virtually guaranteeing that a S will "stay in love with us."

It has only been through reading here, and learning what I have learned that I found out what a terrible W I WAS!!! By that I mean, I didn't know about constantly needing to meet all H's EN's. I didn't know about POJA, spending 15 hours together each week. We were doing NONE of those things! Therefore, no wonder our love for each other cooled!!

That's the bad news. The good news is that unless you and your W learn these skills (skills all of us should be taught before we ever begin a M), she will never be happy in another relationship, either! So, she will (eventually) be forced to re-examine her needs, her feelings, and WHY she wants to leave you in the first place.

As you implement Plan A - whenever you see her - she will begin to see changes in YOU. She will eventually begin to fall back in love with YOU!

P.S. Praying for God to change you (and her) into more Godly people couldn't hurt either. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ December 20, 2003, 08:12 AM: Message edited by: lupolady ]</small>

I have started a new thread under Infidelity due to some more recent information that I have found out.

lupolady - if you are still following this, please read the new link.

Hurting's new link