My husband and I have been separated for almost a month & 1/2. I'm reading every book and website I can find. He's lost his feelings for me but I think I still see signs... How do I get him to let me in (emotionally) enough to get him to want to try?? We have 2 kids and he sees them 3-4 times a wk.
Thank you.

Start with Plan A. Read all about it here. Search under Plan A/Plan B or look for John39 post or Toomuchcoffeeman. By the way, welcome to MB- this is the right place to be. Can you give anymore details? Right now you are hurting, but things can get better.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong> Can you give anymore details? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks for your response. I will start reading Plan A. We've been married 10yrs, and he finally told me that he had had sex with someone a couple mo ago, once. I realize now that there's a lot of things I could have done better (more freq sex would have helped), not worked so many hours in the last year, and a lot of other things. He says he's not involved with anyone right now, but he's renting a room from the sister of a woman he wks with... and she seems to be around a lot. He swears nothing is going on, and since he's still saying he doesn't feel a desire for me or to make things work - I would think he'd tell me so I would quit trying. I've lost about 30 lbs with all this stress, so I know I'm more attractive now than when this all started - but probably not to him. This hurts SOOO much.

I know how you feel. My husband told me that he is unhappy and that he does not feel the love for me anymore. I cry all the time and I am so hurt by the coldness that he displays to me. We have a 4 year old son together and he acts like it doesn't even bother him. He is so career oriented (He's in the military) that he said he was going to put his career ahead of his family. He doesn't do anything with me or our son. He said he was going camping this weekend with some friends from the base, but that is probably a lie, he's probably cheating. I have to realize that he doesn't love me anymore, but I don't know how, I still love him very much. I'm so sad, maybe one day things will get better.