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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 234
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I've been thinking alot about this and just don't know what to do. I have to young kids, 4 yo son and 10 mo daughter. Both very young to go and buy a gift for their father. Do I buy one for their father from them? or Do I buy nothing at all? And if I do buy ex something from the kids what do I buy? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I know I won't be getting anything from my kids(or should I say from my ex). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 380
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This is a problem for me to, but I have decided how I am going to handle it.
I am going to help my D buy a present from her to my WW.
I am going to send a nice card and write in it. "I wish you a Merry Christmas in memory of all the wonderful Christmases that we shared."
"The Lord's peace be with you"
"Firebird"
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 54
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Joined: Sep 2003
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STBXWife....
I, too, am going through this struggle, and have decided that both of my boys (ages 10 and 8) will give a present to their Dad this Christmas. In fact, in light of the fact that his live in GF has recently left town, we may even have him come over to our house on Christmas eve to open it so he doesn't have to be alone. Despite everything that has happened, and that the divorce is final...I see no reason for ANYONE to be alone at Christmas.
Take care, and I'll be thinking of you!
skip
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,236
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STBXW,
What do you feel you should do? I know that that is what you asked us. But it you that has to be comfortable with what it you do!!!!
A far as the gift for you from the kids, a bunch of us singles parents at church are going to meet either at Walmart or the Mall, swap kids and go shopping, that way we will all get gifts that had nothing to do with our x's!!!
Another suggestion that was posted earlier this week was to buy something that you want for yourself and put Santa's name on it or the kids and then you too have something to open on Christmas!!!!
Dawn
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 12
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Joined: Mar 2003
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STBXWife,
IMHO, You should do what you feel in your heart to be right. No matter what happens between you and your stbxh, he will always be the father of your children, so if you feel that you can live with giving him a gift in the kids name by all means go ahead and do it.
Personally I don't see anything wrong with you giving him a little something it is the season of love and forgiveness. Show him you are the better person, make it something simple and inexpensive with a card saying it's from the kids, try not to put your name on it make it just from the kids that way he can't accuse you of trying to use this time to get close to him.
Again, this is just my opinion you have gotten a lot of good advice from others here but, I think you should go with your heart.
Good luck to you.
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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I think the children should have a gift for their father. I always have worked with my children in the selecting. The chief phrase has been, "Do you think your father would like it? Is is something you want or something he would want?"
One year, they got him a disposable camera, a candle, and a bag of Oreos for Father's Day. But, almost every time, they have been the selector's. I just pay for it.
This year, I'm ready to get him a visit from Vinny, Ahkmed, Jamal, and Bubba when they are ready for some practice of their hitman skills. Not really, but boy could x use an attitude adjustment. I'm tired of him.
But I will see that his children give him a gift. One they select.
(Princess, calm down. We have to play nice or play alone. Breath deeply and count to 10.)
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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I bought picture frames for the children to decorate, and will give him the photos I had taken of the girls. He was never into formal portraits, but unless I take them, he'd never get them. I also give the same to his family, although they don't speak to me.
It's an easy and thoughtful gift, and one I believe would not be wasted or thrown out. I expect nothing from him. However, I was surprised when he suggested I pick up the children on christmas eve yeah!
I have bought myself presents to wrap and place under our tree from Santa to me.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108
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even if he is not your H, he is their father. I think that having them get him something is showing them the spirit of giving. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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