I have hit this really wierd phase now. I don't know what it means. It is an "absurd phase". Maybe it's because my xh is wierded out and is shacked up with an uneducated, former men's magazine butt floss model who's knocked up and will shortly deliver her second outta wedlock kid and that she's trapped the ultimate ego maniac playboy.

I dunno what's wrong with me. I don't know. When anybody asks me "hey peachy what happend" or "why did you get a divorce?" I just start laughing to myself now...ha he he he he. Can't seem to help it. And I don't know why. But it sure beats the heck outta crying that's for sure.

I know one thing...I had the flu for a month and then this week started going to work much earlier and getting up about five fifteen am so I am sleep deprived somewhat. Plus I have started going out a bit. Not alot, but a bit.

However, I was leaving work today and heard on 99x in Atlanta a song that pretty much summed up what happens to alot of us here on MB..It's a pretty funny song really. Called "Hit That" by the Offspring.

If Harold is around here, please find the lyrics to this song and print them here...

Chorus goes something like this :
"I'm on a roll; chasin all the girls I know
my baby momma don't need to know..
I know you wanna hit that...I know you wanna hit that."

Basically, the guy has a woman or wife who is a new mom. He doesn't like the life so he goes out and chases women. She gets tired of waiting at home for him so she starts going out too and then it's a bit of social awareness on last stanza.

But the song still makes me laugh even though it is very dark and reflects the worst of what has happened to me.

I don't know why I laugh when I ever mention Jethro or his sitch. But he got himself into it and now it's going to take about 21 years to get himself out of. You get what you deserve sometimes. I have now come to this conclusion.

I still do not get this absurd phase though. I just don't care anymore about what has happened. Like a country club version of Jerry Springer and I cannot believe I even lived thru this at all.

BTW..

This makes my two year anniversary of leaving. Jethro threw my child and I out of our once dream house two years ago this week.

And after this two years I am the only person who's free.

And I am now laughing about it.

Why am I laughing? Have I gone mad?

Errr, sure, you're nuts.
And thank the Lord for that.
You've come out on the far side with your dignity and self-respect and good reputation, and your darling little boy.

He's come out on the far side and his situation is that he's begging you to help him make a living again, because you're the one with the good contacts, and he coasted on your good name and reputation with those people.

In other words, to support him and the bimbo who he left you for.

If he's not already feeling like a coyote with his foot in a claw trap, and ready to chew his own arm off to sneak away free, he will be soon.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You know whats funny? I ALWAY listen to the words of that song too. I can't say I'm laughing, but i'm not sad either.... (and read my sig!)

I agree. I'm the free one now. Funny.

I will say I do find myself dancing around the house at times (with my toddler) and realize I was never this happy with the ex....

Googled the lyrics for you, Peachy.

"Hit That"

The winds of fortune
Don't blow the same
She had to get out
And make a change
She had a kid now
But much too young
That baby daddy's out having fun

He's saying
I'm on a roll
With all the girls I know
His baby momma
She ain't so slow
He's saying
I'm on a roll
With all the girls I know
I know you wanna hit that
I know you wanna hit that
All the world is gettin' with, I say
Consequences are a lot, but hey
That's the way it
That's the way things go

What was family
Is now a shell
We're raising kids now
Who raise themselves
Sex is a weapon
And it's like a drug
It gets him right into that grave that he just dug

She's saying
I'm on the run
I'm chasing guys for fun
Her baby daddy
It ain't his only one
She's saying
I'm on the run
I'm chasing guys for fun
I know you wanna hit that
I know you wanna hit that
Everybody's gettin' with, I say
Consequences are a lot, but hey
That's the way it
That's the way things go

Well it winds up
Broken up
Really such a shame
But why not
Take a chance
Everything's a game
And it don't stop
Hooking up
Nothing's gonna change
The more he's trying
The more he's buying

He says
I'm on a roll
With all the girls I know
His baby momma
Don't need to know
He's saying
I'm on a roll
With all the girls I know
I know you wanna hit that
I know you wanna hit that
All the world is gettin' with, I say
Consequences are a lot, but hey
That's the way it
That's the way things go

JustPeachy! Girlfriend, you are into RECOVERY! No you're NOT mad - if you were you'd be doing some crazy stuff like that ole girl down in Houston earlier this year: you remember, she's the one who ran over her hubby and OW with her Mercedes!
You're just getting over the past years of HELL with the EX! I know - I've been there as well and I know how you're feeling. Take heart, it's getting better for you (and your son) now and it'll continue getting better. Watching your ex's life continue sinking is sort of like watching a horror movie: you know it's only going to get worse as the movie goes on... so it is with him: his life is only going to get worse as time goes on. Your life, on the other hand, is only going to get BETTER! JP, you're doing just fine! You are here on MB, you have lots of friends here praying for you, wishing you the best, and reading your posts.
For you, my friend... from 'Da DJ in KoC'.... (MaXX)

Hit That - By The Offspring

The winds of fortune
Don't blow the same
She had to get out
And make a change
She had a kid now
But much too young
That baby daddy's out having fun

He's saying
I'm on a roll
With all the girls I know
His baby momma
She ain't so slow
He's saying
I'm on a roll
With all the girls I know
I know you wanna hit that
I know you wanna hit that
All the world is gettin' with, I say
Consequences are a lot, but hey
That's the way it
That's the way things go

What was family
Is now a shell
We're raising kids now
Who raise themselves
Sex is a weapon
And it's like a drug
It gets him right into that grave that he just dug

She's saying
I'm on the run
I'm chasing guys for fun
Her baby daddy
It ain't his only one
She's saying
I'm on the run
I'm chasing guys for fun
I know you wanna hit that
I know you wanna hit that
Everybody's gettin' with, I say
Consequences are a lot, but hey
That's the way it
That's the way things go

Well it winds up
Broken up
Really such a shame
But why not
Take a chance
Everything's a game
And it don't stop
Hooking up
Nothing's gonna change
The more he's trying
The more he's buying

He says
I'm on a roll
With all the girls I know
His baby momma
Don't need to know
He's saying
I'm on a roll
With all the girls I know
I know you wanna hit that
I know you wanna hit that
All the world is gettin' with, I say
Consequences are a lot, but hey
That's the way it
That's the way things go ...............

Thanks buds. I probably am going a bit insane.

But the Jethro is up to more crapola now...He is late once again w/check and when he decides to go outta town with OW and son and her kid to the outlaws home for weekend before christmas, he does not make any attempt to bring check to me but leaves it under the mat at his house. I don't go over to his house ever for those who do not know. It has such bad memories there and I almost cringe every time I see my former dream house. And then he mentions that for christmas he's giving son (and OW and her child too I assume) a trip to Disneyworld (can we say he's majorly the Disneyland dad?)...I have wierd feeling that during the trip (jan 1 thru six) they will elope? I am not sure.

If there is a waiting period in GA after a divorce maybe they won't. But I am for sure FV is pushing for this time the baby to be non illegit.

Either way I sent him a blistering email back saying that what our son needs is a dad. A dad that will spend time one on one with his own child and not somebody who violates divorce decrees willfully and lives shamefully in sin with a morally defunct OW and child. That they aren't exactly Ozzie and Harriett. More like Ozzy and Sharon. Actually, Ozzy and Sharon are probably much more moral than these two are.

So I am trying to chin up and face fact today that I have to jump through alot of hoops right now. The guard gate in subdivision will get a call from me to see if they can go and retrieve the check from under the mat as I have no desire whatsoever to go over there.

And aren't those lyrics the most ironic? Well, except for the part about my chasing guys for fun. I have not quite progressed to that. But the part about "digging his own grave" b/c of his actions and the consequences? Quite appropriate huh? And the part about hooking up with somebody being compared to a drug? It is. It is a horrible addiction. And the part about "her daddy baby --he's not the only one". Also appropriate for me.

I am still somewhat down sometimes but I am trying to stay so very busy this week that I don't know it's even Christmas except for going to church and getting stuff for my little precious one ready. I just still cannot believe he'd stick the check under the mat. Why can this man not learn to use US postal system or direct deposit or some other efficient method of getting to his child and xwife the pittance of monies he owes us? We know he owes us more, but we just want our peace for now. No court for a few more months at least.
Thanks so hurt, belle the domestic goddess my friend, Maxx the best dj here on MB and Dobie for lyrics. I cannot even begin to thank you enough. And I understand the part about dancing around with your toddler. I do it with my son sometimes.

But I am I guess beginning into recovery. But very very very slowly. I still cry sometimes. For example, I watched "Miracle on 34th sTreet" the remake of it and I cried and cried. The woman didn't believe in love or anything or even santa b/c she and her child were left by her xh. Sure wish life were like movies b/c I'd order that one to be my life. Recovery is weird. It is. Sometimes I have to pinch myself and say "did I really live that life..the good...the bad..the luxury...and that hell?" I have somewhat seemed to block stuff out now. I have trouble remembering some of the marriage if not alot of it. All I can seem to remember are things related to my child, my once dream house, my son's birth, and the last two years. I can't remember anything else. It's like my x sucked all good memories out of me. Is it normal not to be able to remember? Am I getting foggy too? I hope not. I sure hope not.

Hi JP! I am sooo sorry you're having to go thru this around the Holiday Season. Apparently, SELFISHNESS knows no bounds, even this time of year.
But, relax - your day is coming.
My fave quote that I live today, 5 years after my Divorce: "Live Well: It Really Is The Best Revenge".. sounds like you're doing that to the best of your ability and just hang in there - it DOES get better! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
Thanks for the 'best DJ on MB' bit - it meant a lot. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Happy HolidaZe and also a most Merry Christmas to you and your dear son, JP! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Sincerely, Harold
PS - We miss ya in 'The Kingdom'!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Thank you Harold. You're such a sweetie. And although you've been there dun that and have about a thousand t shirts...we still need encouragement from the other side of hell.

Guess I've made it almost there too.

I've been trying.

In fact, I am actively helping an old MB'er friend of mine who's made it thru to the other side set up his online profile for dating! Yep. I am using my abilities in marketing. He hopefully will be beating women off with a stick. I was joking with him and told him about a year and a half ago when a colleague of mine found Jethro's online dating profile. Anybody remember that?

His headline on match read :"BETTER ACT NOW B/C IF YOU DON'T YOUR GIRLFRIENDS WILL & YOU'LL WISH YOU DID". Geez. I got nauseus reading it. And he even said "I am a wealthy entrepreneur with good family values and am divorced" "would like to take an appreciative woman on a shopping spree...I travel to exotic places and stay in the finest of resorts." Geez. He didn't do much of that with me. Especially the shopping spree parts. Helping my buddy today was inspiring but made me remember this part of the stupidity that has been my life for the last 2 years. I am now just wondering as I type this "what constitutes an APPRECIATIVE WOMAN?" I dunno. I guess that would indicate a mere thank you for the prada bag mr. Jethro. Guess he'd much prefer the Lewinsky method of appreciation...

It's funny. I found some old pics as I was cleaning out the spare room downstairs w/tons of boxes in it. I had the most gorgeous home. But it was a thing and I am happy now. I found pics before all of this was discovered and an old card from our first anniversary. I should have saw all this coming I guess...on the card he wrote :Happy first of many more...like fifty more. And I am going to work hard to become an even better husband in the years to come."

What lies. Quite possibly even back then had he done something I did not know about? I will never know. But it sure sounded suspicious. But it's behind me. It's like viewing pics of a dead relative. Very wierd. I do not miss him anymore. I miss what I thought I had at one time in my life. He is not that person anymore. Nope. I want something easy and clear and straightforward one day. A guy that'll make my heart leap and give me the heebie jeebies when I hear his voice. One day. One day.

In helping my buddy, I researched the guys online to size up his competition. And the lines they shoot directly into the internet void are unbelievable. Very foggy single people. I hope they are single at least. You never know these days.. I wonder if women really buy this stuff. Pure crapola. But it would seem that the guys are trying to be elusive and slick. Not at all warm or too cuddly or saying that they want a serious relationship. Nope. It's all about fun, fun, fun and travel and things and maybe a tiny bit about relationships. And the women are demanding. Like one girl said "I get so many emails as I am attractive and cannot possibly go through them all so if I do not respond, please do not take it personally as I work alot as a veteranerian and don't have much time to do this but am looking for a tall, handsome, well to do, intelligent man in the metro Atlanta area." The golddiggers today don't ask for much do they?

So I guess maybe sometime in 04 when I decide to come out of this convent I've lived in for almost two years now, that I have to do some serious work on what it is I should shoot out there into the internet void. Will I say "get your ticket and stand in line fellas?" or will I say "I have been the victim of a man who did NOT take me on shopping sprees as I must have not been appreciative enough for that or for trips to exotic places staying in the finest resorts with a man who claims he's handsome and an entrepreneur". Or I could say that "I am a peach who has gotten out of the pit. The old pit now lives 20 minutes s.e. of me. And his name ain't Brad."

I do think I've gone absolutely insane. I am not dreading life. However, I have eschewed for the last two days housework and need to clean up more and can't understand why I've done this too. It's like I am on some kind of wierd strike or something. I just do not get it at all. Not at all. I have designed for a MB buddy his "hook" on dating and discovered that what's out there is unbelievable. I wonder how many of the guys have pics older than five years and are really bald??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

justpeachy the other day my XWW called me to ask about our girls when the offspring's 'She's got issues' started playing on the radio. I almost fell out of my chair LMAO and she asking me what was so funny. Here's the lyrics to the song.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She's Got Issues

I'm seeing this girl and she just might be out of her mind
Well she's got baggage and it's all the emotional kind
She talks about closure and that validation bit
I don't mean to be insensitive, but I really hate that ****

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She thinks she's the victim
Yeah

Now I know she'll feel abandoned
If I don't stay over late
And I know she's afraid to commit
But it's only our second date

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She thinks she's the victim
But she takes it all out on me

I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And check your baggage at the door

Now she talks about her ex nonstop, but I don't mind
But when she calls out his name in bed
That's where I draw the line
You told me a hundred times how your father left and he's gone
But I wish you wouldn't call me daddy
When we're gettin' it on

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She's playing the victim
And taking it all out on me
My god she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay

If you think I'm controlling
Then why do you follow me around
If you're not co-dependent
Then why do you let others drag you down

I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And check your baggage at the door</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

TMCM:
Just heard this on the radio the other day. Man, was it right on the money.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by justpeachy:
<strong>Maybe it's because my xh is wierded out and is shacked up with an uneducated, former men's magazine butt floss model who's knocked up and will shortly deliver her second outta wedlock kid and that she's trapped the ultimate ego maniac playboy.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do you realize how much it hurts *you* when you say this sort of thing?

Please read the responses on the other post that have to do with forgiveness.

You gotta let go Peach. You gotta let it all go.

Princess,

That's what I am doing when I vent here. I AM letting it go. And what sounds like I am being just mean, is actually the absolute truth of what is going on.

Last thing my counselors said was that I would feel anger and they thought it would take the form of irony as I love Seinfeld and am pretty much a funny person and ironic by nature. They knew it would happen and I am I guess going through that now. She said about six months ago that when the d was final, all that extra stuff would finally come out and I'd get through this finally. But that I was about ninety percent done with most of the stuff except the anger. And she told me when she got to this very phase with her, (her x cheated and also immed. got another woman preggo) that when she finally looked it for what it was, without so much emotion, it was funny. And yea, sometimes it made her mad as that was her last step of grief, but that sometimes she just let it fly. She'd go have coffee with girlfriends and let it fly. Then she just learned to become rather numb about the whole thing and just be objective when it comes to parenting. She said we get that way.

I think I will be that way in a few months. I also deal with my anger usually either by relating humor to it or just venting. And I do so safely. Here or with a few close girlfriends or my sister. Have a few tight MB friends I talk to and they know this as well.

I know I've heard you call your x silly stuff before and that you were only venting.

Can't be so hard to see that yea, I am doing that too.

Yep, peachy, anger was the last thing for me. I got SOOOOOOOO angry. It was like a dam burst, and I sent a caustic email or two and haf some heated phone converations. It has to come out, or it festers in you, and then you are never able to let go. After a couple of outbursts, I felt so much better, and I felt release. Some things just have to be said to men like ours, peachy. But then I decided that I was going to just be totally neutral in dealings with X, and I manage that most of the time.

You vent all you want here peachy. It has to be said, you have to release it, and this is (or should be) a safe place to do it.

Not that I still don't feel anger now from time to time...watching my kids get into the car with X and Clicketty Clack yesterday to go to a family function, playing 'happy families' for all the world to see did not thrill me. So I yelled some choice words at the pair of them through the window (no, they didn't hear, they were in the car by then) and cried a litle. But I think my reaction was totally normal, since they have the kids from now until the 28th and this is my first Christmas without my babies.

But although I got angry, it did not consume me like it used to. I distracted myself by going shopping, and then went to church in the evening. You will get to this point, too, and like redhat and I you will be able to say "I will NOT let them hurt me one second more of my life". And when you can say that, you will feel much more in control of the whole thing, and more at peace. But it takes time.

And by the way, you ARE starting to get funny over this, ya know.....the Brad Pitt thing, lmao! It's a good sign.

Love and light,

Jacky

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Maybe it's because my xh is wierded out and is shacked up with an uneducated, former men's magazine butt floss model who's knocked up and will shortly deliver her second outta wedlock kid and that she's trapped the ultimate ego maniac playboy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you realize how much it hurts *you* when you say this sort of thing?

Please read the responses on the other post that have to do with forgiveness.

You gotta let go Peach. You gotta let it all go.

--------------------</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I totally agree Princess. And I think it only hurts her when others tell her "vent away" and join in the "she's a whore" bandwagon. It's obviusly not hurting the OW or "jethro" at all, is it? No. It's hurting one person... maybe two. Peachy and perhaps also her son who might be hearing it. That's about it. It doesn't hurt me. It doesn't hurt anyone else here. And it does NOT hurt "jethro" or the "OW."

<small>[ December 21, 2003, 08:05 PM: Message edited by: LoveMyEx ]</small>

Hey peachy - have you heard about Josh Grobin? He is the young artist who has an operatic voice. And his new CD has this song that drove me to tears, literally crying on the road. I play it over and over, and tears still come to me whenever. I played it today coming back home after visiting a friend and once again I cried to myself driving on the expressway.

I feel, there is still pain in our hearts, and you being able to laugh brought to your heart that you are free of his misdeameanors. Also, you are still hurt by the deceit and lies that your xhusband put on you and your son. These men don't realize the damage they have done, I realize my x doesn't either. As he states that he is different and intellectually over my head, but one thing he doesn't realize is that a marriage can work, if both partners are willing to work on the marriage. Whomever my x should end up with, is not going to be cake and icecream. He will have to work on any marriage that he interconnects with. Or if he chooses to just live with someone, which I feel he will. Since he told me sex was just biology, and papers of marriage meant nothing to him. So I believe these wayward spouses will eventually get themselves into bigger messes. And there may be the inner heart that says, what did I do do my wife.

Have you ever seen the movie the "The Locket" a Hallmark film. I watched it at my friends house toay, and of course christianity was involved, and the heart of forgiveness, and the heart of two people that divorced and knew deep inside that they always truly loves each other very much. It was a heart warming movie, with many psychological connections.

Hey, we are all trying to get our lives back togethere. Been hard, I don't like this computer I am working on. I have a split keyboard, and the stupid thing is not working. So I had to come downstairs and use this computer.

Get back tomorrow. Had a hard night on a pull out sofa bed. Those things are not worth stating as a bed. I slept some but feel really tired, and my back is ultimately, on fire and spasming.