I have been friends with BI (W's Brother)longer than I have known W. Recently W and BI have started talking more than they have for years. (D will be something that they have in common)

I mentioned something to W that BI had told me and know W is mad at me and him for him sharing things that they talked about.
BI is against D( not that it is his choice) but W seems to feel like everyone is against her.

How do I handle friendship with BI. I know that anytime I'm with him, W will think we are talking about her. I work weekends with him for extra $$ that I really can't give up.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by WishI WereHome:
<strong> I have been friends with BI (W's Brother)longer than I have known W. Recently W and BI have started talking more than they have for years. (D will be something that they have in common)

I mentioned something to W that BI had told me and know W is mad at me and him for him sharing things that they talked about.
BI is against D( not that it is his choice) but W seems to feel like everyone is against her.

How do I handle friendship with BI. I know that anytime I'm with him, W will think we are talking about her. I work weekends with him for extra $$ that I really can't give up. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think you put it rather well and should communicate it to your W in the same way you did it here with a different wording.

1. Your BIL opinions about your marriage status are his and not a factor in determining it's outcome.

2. You value your relationship with BI and you wish to continue it W/BIL. The future plans for yours and W's marriage are strictly yours and hers and you will ask BIL not to influence her decisions.

3. Your working relationship with your BIL is important to your financial needs and you should not have to give that up because of marrital issue you both have and hopefully she can see the objective division of your marriage and your friendship with your BIL.

Thanks Firebird

I'm not always so good with wording things in the best way.
I think she may already know all this, but I guess It can't do much harm in talking to her about it. I'm not bringing it up during the holidays though.

She has lightened up on me the past few days. I think she may see that her problems with her family are not my fault. At least I hope she does.
Everything is my fault right now, perhaps because I'm the only one that is there for her to take it out on.