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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
A friend at work was out of the country last week. He was in the Phillipines getting engaged.
He's 43 and never been married. And would like children.
She is 29 and I would bet you a dollar or five that she is in this for a meal ticket to the US.
I knew someone to whom that happened. The w made life hell for her US husband until he left 3 months after their second anniversary. If a marriage where one partner enters the US dissolves prior to the 2nd anniversary, the non-citizen can be deported.
I really hate to see my co-worker get taken. He's a really nice guy but I can't be happy about this. Just can't do it. I am willing to say I support him but I just don't feel good. Even if he says he met her 2 years ago.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108 |
I've also seen this happen, but I think it this case, the H new he was being used to an extent. He was recently widowed and left caring for 2 small children. I believe he allowed himself to be used just to get a quick live in "Nanny" for his children
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 380
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 380 |
Having been in the service and serving in the Pacific arena, I have seen this a number of times but I have also seen a few sucess stories, albiet not as many.
It is risky. If your friend could protect himself with a prenupt AND not be liable for spousal support (her being able to work here and support herself if she leaves the marriage) he could take his chances. But then there is the matter of children. That will be a responsibility that will last a lifetime and if they split and she get custody, she will no doubt benefit from the child support she can force him to pay.
It's easy to use logic when it is someone else's love life but unfortunately it's often a standard that we don't apply to ourselves. Love is blind afterall.
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
Well, he won't want to hear what I say. I suppose I shall just be happy for him. And hhopeful that she is not marrying this older American man for manipulative purposes.
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714 |
Oh, but everyone remember that Financial support is an EN, too. And for a 29-year old Philippine woman, it may be number 1. The man wants children very much, so Family Commitment is being met. Now, I don’t know how this man may stack up on the other traditional female top ENs like openness & honest, affection, and conversation.
But, she may not be a self-serving gold-digger at all. And she may keep her end of the bargain… to the end.
Maybe, Cinderella, you can send them this web site as a wedding gift.
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