Just dropped my kids 6-10 off to their mother.
I had them for 6 days before Christmas, she has them till January 5th, (just the way it worked out this year).
I have been divorced for a few months, it was something I never wanted to happen.
We were married 17 years, we lived among her side of the family, my family now is only my kids (part time).
She said I was abusive, that she hated me, that she wanted space. (signs I should have realized that there was somebody else). I learned too late, I probably couldn't have done anything anyway. (the fog won her over).
Now he (co-worker), lives with her, with my kids.
He is now my replacement, an upgrade you might say (they both work with computers).
They even have a family Christmas card with him,her and my 2 kids.
They sent that to her side of family, and I guess his too.
So now I am all alone for the next 2 weeks, and they tell me that Christmas is coming............
Well maybe it is, but not for me.
Just make it 2 weeks more........not easy.

Just think I was actually somewhat Jolly yesterday.

Rufus

Rufus,
Your message touched me. Not that I have any solutions, but I do care. Rest assured that the first Christmas after divorce is usually the hardest. I have approached it with the idea that things will not always be this way. Healing will come. I won't have alot of expectations about the holiday season this year. And I keep in mind the message of Christmas, that Light can come out of a time of great darkness. No doubt things look pretty dark now. It will not always be so. Think about ways to pamper yourself and relax during this time...you know those things you've thought about doing on days when the kids occupy so much of your time and energy. The movie or TV show you have been wanting to see but the kids could care less. That leisurely cup of coffee and reading the newspaper. Sleeping in in the morning. Remember those here at MB and know that we care and, to a certain extent, understand.

Time to get busy learning how to enjoy life alone. It can be quite enjoyable. Plus there is someone else out there who will appreciate you - but not for awhile, please. Get through your healing.

Having been in a blended family for the last 15 years, I can tell you that it will not be all that great for her and OM. There are constant problems over the kids. And the older they get, the worse it will be.

Please start planning for you. Like it says in the Bible, there is a time for sowing and a time for reaping. Now is your time for sowing.