XW spent xmas eve and xmas with the kids and I. We decided that it would be best this way, anyways, we had a wonderful day and a half, where we talked and just enjoyed the day with the kids and that is what it is all about. Though temporary, I was happy for the first time in 11 months, it was good to see the interaction between us and the kids. I could not have asked for anything else this day.

She decided to call her grandmother and made arragements to visit her today (Saturday) and wanted me to go along with her. I said Yes, her grandmother who was in a bad car accident a couple months ago, after surgery and rehab came home and was excited that her granddaughter was coming to visit. Here is the bad news, X calls me up on Friday and told me that she will not be going to visit her grandmother, I said Why, her reply was that she had forgotten about plans she had made with her friends and they are holding her to these plans.

Obviously, at this point I was furious, I am like you made a comittment to go see your grandmother, and of course if you explain, your friends will understand the situation. She made the decision that her friends were more important than her own family, and call her grandmother to tell her that she had forgotten about these plans she had made with her friends.

I knew how much it meant for her grandmother to see her grandaughter and great grand children that I went ahead with the visit. She was so happy to have seen us, but too was in tears that her granddaughter thought that her friends was more important than her. Our visit was good and me and the kids had a good time.

I wonder how long it will take for my X to rebuild trust with her family.

All alone---do not know your situation fully but I can relate to what this Xmas was like for you. Last year, WS and I were separated but I still lived in our house, he was in an apartment. My younger son came home from Japan for Xmas and H was in and out of our home regularly to spend time with son. It got my hopes up and gave me a false sense of family. After son went back to Japan, I had to feel the tearing and ripping and it opened up the wound again which was very painful. I had made good progress with us being separated and if I did not expect anything from WS, I was in good shape emotionally but the Xmas thing threw me a few steps backward.

It sounds like your XW is still in the fog---is there an OP?

Careful about expectations and false hopes..they can flop you up and down like a speeding roller coaster.

TW

I know of false hope very well, I was just happy that we were able to celebrate this holiday without any incident. It was all I had asked for this xmas. There was or maybe still is OM, who knows, her OM she is doing the internet thing, sending him pictures and of course him telling her how womderful she looks etc...... Who cares

All alone---I am so glad you enjoyed the Christmas holiday and it was a happy, memorable one for your children. I know that is important and I have spent the last 2 Christmases with my H involved. This was helpful and was really good for my boys and DIL. This Christmas was great and we all had fun. It was really good to see my H but I had no yearning to be husb and wife or to long for what we had. I just enjoyed the moment.

I hope that no matter what happens you and your W can stay friendly. It sounds like her involvement with OP is still fresh and painful. Have you read through some of the articles on MBs and have you read Surviving An Affair?

TW

TW