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#763073 01/03/04 07:46 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 34
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 34
Well,
Here is the beginning of my miserable story:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=29;t=003580#000000

My settlement conference is next week, and it looks like everything will be final then. I told my WW/STBX that we should split up our household goods, and I'm going back to the house this afternoon to do that.
So, that is probably why I'm awake at 5:00AM this morning. I'm planning on a final declaration - I don't want a divorce, I still love you, I'd do anything to make this work and stay together. I know that she won't change her mind, because she is still with her boyfriend, but at least it will make it crystal clear where all the guilt lies in ths situation, for the rest of our lives apart.
I was told by a friend of a friend that she talked about what happened - she had an affair, it is still going on, she feels bad about how it all worked out. Of course, in dealing with me she only thinks of herself.

So we talked yesterday, finalizing some of the divorce details. She wants me to pay for her legal fees!!! Out of anything that would drive me nuts, that is it. Why the (*$#%@^ should I have to pay for her to divorce me??? I never wanted any of this - she kicked me out of our house, she got an attourney, she went and filed for divorce, and she wants ME TO PAY FOR IT ALL???

So again, we are meeting this afternoon to separate out everything. I guess this will be probably the second saddest day of my life, and I'm not really looking forward to it. How do other people make it through this? It makes me want to just say "go ahead and take anything, I just don't want to deal with that".

#763074 01/03/04 10:19 AM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,236
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tall,

You set your boundaries, and then you stick to them!! It's not hard once you have a plan to do it! But you have to do it and know how to do it! Play the "what if " game in your head, set up scenerios that could happen while dividing stuff out today, what is your response going to be? Babble back at her when approperiate. Don't try to get into a relationship discussion with her today, today is about you getting the things from your home thtat you want or need, numb yourself for protection.

Accept that this is what has happpened to your marriage and that the person that you loved is no longer the person inhabitating your wifes body.

Don't make today out to be anything more then moving yourself, you've moved before I am assured, don't let this be anything more then one of those days. Be strong, be indifferent, get your things and get home and then get emotional if you want or need.

Fight for the things that you want from your home and stick to them!!!

You will make it thru this today!!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

#763075 01/03/04 10:23 AM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Don't let your ego get the best of you and consult with an attorney as to what are your legal options are and to help you formulate a plan where you won't get totally fleeced by her. I don't want to give you false info but if she is working full time then it would seem that she can't force you to pay for her attorney's fees. Keep in mind that what she wants and what she can get are two totally different things. Consult with an attorney ASAP.


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