For The Astute Members,
I was my weekend with the kids. They have been out for Christmas Holidays and I have been keeping them during the days for the former wife. I am unemployed and am looking for work, but figured time with kids, help the ex, works for everyone. Did I mention I have been doing this over the years, not just at Christmas. I have been paying 95% of my child support (300/wk), been helping with the kids during the week, fixing things, pretty much helping as much as possible. Well, get the kids this weekend, Sunday rolls around, no call for the ex to come and pick them up. I call, no answer. She returns my call around 6:30 and I say, hey whats going on. She says, oh, I was outside and I thought you could keep the kids through Tuesday. Hadnt asked (I live with my parents temporarily so I can give her child support and she can keep the house). I was like, when were you going to ask me? She quips back, "I'm asking now!". That was it! I have had enough. I have been there for her through and through, and yes I have made mistakes, but she has it made.

My folks have been very gracious letting me live with them until I find work, they have paid my car payment so I could support her. Anywho, I said it would have been nice to ask, as this isnt my house. She explodes and says I will come get them, because I dont want them around that attitue. Am I crazy or is this complete and total GALL. My parents and I have bent over backwards to help her, picking kids from school, doctors appointments, keeping them when they are sick. No thanks, just attitude. She has it better than 90% of the single moms. To top it off, my kids were the ones who brought it up. They said "Dad, we're glad we're staying with you through Tuesday". I said "HuH." Not that that wasnt okay, rather they said "Mom told us to pack for 4 nights". She told them this on Friday. Not one word to me or the folks.

You can probably tell that I am venting, so please excuse the shortness. All I heard was "No one knows how hard it is as a single mom." My answer was "Yes, thats why we are helping as we do."

She just lost my help! It takes a lot for me to say enough. I have been through much as a child and adult, but this was it! She thinks thats tough, wait until I abide by the letter of the law and no longer sacrifice my life and livlihood for HER.

Am I wrong.

Advice please.

These are your children, too - and you aren't working - and you are complaining about having them???

Sj,
With all due respect, I love my children and I love having them, anytime and as much as possible. What I am complaining about it is the fact that I wasnt called about them staying for two additional days, when she knew Friday (she had them pack for 4 night). She hadnt even called Sunday. Maybe I had plans Sunday night. But that is really beside the point. It was the ATTITUDE that I just supposed to be there and Hey, if I want to extend it two more days, I wont say anything until 2 hours after Im supposed to pick them up. Then I will complain about how hard it is as a single mom, when my ex husband is there ANY and ALL the time. What I am complaining about is how my my ex wife calls my parents mean people when they have just shelled out three thousand dollars in car payments so she could receive child support. What I am complaining about is someone who told me point blank, she doesnt have to thank me.

I have run off one of her stalker boyfriends, I have given her every penny I have, been there through and through, and then to be told that Im mean and this is my responsibility. Just so you know, that child support I am paying INCLUDES 5000 annually for child care.

Guess what? She isnt planning on deducting that.
I havent asked her. What I am complaining about is an ungrateful person. I called back and told her to just stay home and the kids could stay. But NO. She was in a rage. She told me she didnt ask because she was afraid I would say NO. I have NEVER turned her down when it came to keeping the kids or having them stay in a day care - NEVER. By the way, she told me during this conversation "You should be lucky I LET you see them" And no, we divorced for "irreconcilable differences" and I am fine with that. Its about respect and decency.

So am I complaining about keeping my kids, absolutely not.

HW -- Jan was trying to point out that your way of punishing your ex will only hurt you and your children.

The way it is now, you have it better than 80% of the men when it comes to child custody. Live it up.

If you want to use this to another purpose, you can keep track of the amount of time you have the children and go back to have the CS reduced to better reflect the shared child care, housing and food.

I know you were just venting. That's fine. But now that it's Monday morning, let's make sure you do what's best for you and the children. And that's to have them around.

And yes your ex behaved badly. Yes, she had attitude. But, what ex doesn't? Ex's and STBX's on this board and myself included.

Thanks Jan and GG,
After thinking about it, I really dont expect thanks. I do what I do because its the RIGHT thing to do. Just had a bad day. I guess we all do. But I just HATE the tude. Sorry, had to throw one last tantrum. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Its out and its now over..thanks guys..


PS. I wish EVERY person thinking about marriage was required BY FEDERAL LAW to spend one week lurking these boards....