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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 12
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 12 |
My husband (WH) and I have been in recovery for almost two years now. He has been very consistant about trying to meet my needs and doing things just as he is supposed to. Yet, I still don't feel love for him or the desire to be in this marriage. I feel as if I have tried very hard to make the marriage work and to be open to him. I am on the verge of leaving, and for my children's sake I want to make sure I have done everything I can do.
Is anyone else in the same place as me?
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 103
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 103 |
I have no idea what to do either.
I feel the same way.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He has been very consistant about trying to meet my needs and doing things just as he is supposed to. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Are you doing the same for him? Are you trying to learn new habbits that will rebuild the romantic love between you?
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199 |
Is it possible that you haven't been able to "forgive" him, and still blame him for the A?
If so, then talk to someone (priest or a counselor) about forgiveness. It will actually free you more than him, and may be what is blocking your recovery.
Good Luck.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 12
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 12 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Are you doing the same for him? Are you trying to learn new habbits that will rebuild the romantic love between you? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">To be honest, I have not done this as much as I could. I just don't have the desire to do it, and perhaps it is because deep down I have not forgiven him. I don't know that I can forgive him totally for the A.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> for my children's sake I want to make sure I have done everything I can do. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> To be honest, I have not done this as much as I could. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you have not been doing something as much as you could, the you have not done all that you can for your children. I see that you have been here long enough to understand the Basic Concepts, but perhaps a review wouldn't be a bad idea. Here is a start for you. Instincts and Habits How to Survive Infidelity I don't think you want to give up untill you are sure that you have tried as hard as you can.
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