My divorce is scheduled for Early Settlement Panel in mid March. I am hoping that we can come to terms with all issues and have it done on that date.

My question is, even before my STBX has made the first alimony and child support payment, my spouse has made comments like... "It's not like alimony is enforceable anyway." (Child support is automatically wage garnished in this state, but alimony is not.) My STBX' friend has not paid his Exwife alimony in over 18 months, and both my STBX and his friend think this is quite funny (and deserved by his ex!) When we agreed to and signed off on the Child Custody mediation agreement last month, STBX said during that meeting, "Doesn't really matter what it says in there, not like it can be enforced". So this is obviously the theme for him.
SO, now i'm getting REALLY REALLY REALLY nervous and concerned here that he isn't planning on paying as ordered .. because I depend wholly on the alimony payments to live on. I get disability (and have for over 8 yrs) and as anyone knows that has received Social Security Disability benefits, the payments are below poverty level.

I know that the Child Support payments are enforcable by law and are taken directly from paycheck in this state. However, the CS payments are minimal by constrast and short term compared to the alimony that my attorney has calculated. STBX earns a significant salary compared to my few dollars a month, so, that is why the alimony would be askew in amount.

Is it really true <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> that he can just choose not to pay the court ordered alimony and face no consequences? Why would anyone pay alimony if there is no consequences in NOT paying them to the ex??

PS: I am not the one that filed for this divorce....

PSS: Yes, I know this is a bad place to have found myself in. Please don't make me feel worse by saying that a woman should be better prepared for events like this.. I really couldn't control the disability. Trust me .. i would trade it away in a heartbeat...

<small>[ January 05, 2004, 12:39 AM: Message edited by: Ms Mink ]</small>

Sounds like this is good info for your divorce lawyer as well as making sure the Judge hears this during your Divorce Hearing!! I think he or she would be very interested in this one.
Sorry this is happening to you - the Divorce. You have good friends and support here on this site.
God bless!
Harold

Hello,

If it is court ordered it is enforcable. It might take a long time dragging him back to court but it is enforcable. Talk to your lawyer about what your STBX said and how you need the money. You could have some options such as a lump sum, partial lump sum payment and then montly payments and the like. Also make sure you are elligable for his retirment fund. Always think of ways of getting it in writting ways that he can be and will be punished if he does not make the payments on time and the like. But again not sure the rules for the state you live in so discuss with your lawyer. Show the court how your STBX is behaving by thinking it is funny how he can screw you over like his friend is his wife.

I agree, if it is court ordered--it's required--

And I'm not sure what state you live in--but in some states it CAN be wage deducted--just like child support--here's a link--but check w/ your lawyer to make sure for your own state--

http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=Co...amp;fr=fp-tab-web-t&cop=mss&tab=

Get your lawyer involved on this one. Since you didn’t file, maybe you should go after having your legal fees covered by your STBX. Since he’s already said he’s going to play nasty, I don’t see why you shouldn’t go to the necessary lengths to protect yourself.

I don’t think anyone would tell you you should be so prepared for divorce! I believe men and women should know what’s in the bank accounts, stock market etc. But that doesn’t mean we should orchestrate our lives in order to be fine if we find ourselves alone.