Is there any interest in discussing remarriage and blended / step families?

Tom

<small>[ January 07, 2004, 05:53 PM: Message edited by: ZAPFT ]</small>

Sure, I'm interested. I am newly remarried have three children H has 1.

Hi ZAPFT!

and hello Jillybean, long time no see. I'm remarried now too for about 15 months. I have 3 daughters and h has 1 daughter.

I worry about those statistics. Although I thought the number was half of all marriages end in divorce and so do half of all second marriages. But the other day I read in a magazine the number is 30% of all marriages end in divorce. Which is it?

Blended families are a whole new set of challenges with not only blending the kids, but blending with the dreaded ex of your new spouse and trying to blend all these visitation schedules together! It can be a challenge at times!

DanaB

Great Idea!
Blended families have our own unique problems to deal with.
Second marriage for me and H... recently 2 months separated. 2 kids from my first marriage, 1 from his. His child has a disability and mine both have adhd.
Disciplinary differences and meddling inlaws helped the separation along. His indifference to my children caused me to become bitter towards him.
So, we love each other, we love God, and we are striving to make this work.

what types of things are you wanting to discuss?

ZAPFT ,

just bringing it up to the top again, and same question as Thorned Rose.

DanaB

I'd be very interested in discussing this topic. I'm in a second marriage/blended family. I knew it wouldn't be easy.... but had NO clue about the whole NEW set of problems that blended families face.

I have 2 kids. They live with us. Visit their dad EOW. My husband has 2 kids. They live with their mom and visit us EOW. We either have all 4 on the weekend, or we are alone. The kids are the same ages. We each have a boy and a girl.

Sounds great..... it is in some regards. They are great playmates/friends. However.... it's a nightmare in equalizing things. Hubby thinks everything I buy for mine, he needs to buy for his. Ofcourse it doesn't help that their Mom buys them nothing.... and sends them to us asking for everything. And he pays a king's ransom in child support. His ex does not work.... yet we (he) keeps her living nicely in what he pays her. I don't think his kids see any of that money though. Then my ex barely pays any support. I work full time so we can live the way we want to.

Can you already see issues surfacing......... it's one thing after the other. And it's VERY hard to put a spouse first when it's "my kids" versus "your kids" every time you turn around.

Oh yes...... I could talk for days on this subject!!

I would be very interested. I have four kids all under 11. My X lives with the OW and they are planning to be married in the summer. She has no kids. I see the effects on my kids when they go to visit. I can't say that I agree with most of the ways they handle things at their house, but it is not my place to tell them how to do things. I do see however from time to time the obvios stress it puts on my X and the OW. They have been together for 3 and a half years and have lived together for about a year.

Now for me, I am involved with a wonderful man and we are talking about our future together. He has no children. We have spent a lot of time talking how we want to handle our blended family, but I am definately open to all the info. I can get because although I am definately in love and optimistic, I am also realistic enough realize this will be a challenging thing to say the least. I know we can make this work, but I want to be prepared so that our's remains a happy, positive relationship. I commend all of you who are already doing it.

Take care and God Bless!
K