Husband left Sat. I found out he is staying with her already in her house by Monday. We had appt. today to change our health ins. and yesterday he said he couldn't make it because he had plans for golfing on Fri. afternoon with some fellows. He never golfs in the PM. Then he also tolf my daughter, ( she usually works with him on Sat. am. ) that he is not working because he is going golfing out of town with some guys. This is hard to swallow. All of sudden , out of the house, and he is Mr. Sociable and outgoing going golfing so much. I suspect he is going away with her for the weekend. I am writing this because HE NEVER took me for that Anniversary trip he promised to go on this month to Vegas, or the Christmas gift trip he promised, and now he made time to GET AWAY with the O/W. This really hurts me deeply. Its like stabbing me in the heart again. How can a man be so cruel. I spoke to him yesterday and he said not to give up the house yet. That makes me wonder and hope that maybe he is not sure. Am I giving myself false hope? Should I let him know that I KNOW he is lying again. He lied yesterday when I asked him how is ALONE time was coming along. He said good. Then I told him not to make a fool out of me that I knew he was already with her in her house. He is a lier. So I'm tempted to see what he would say if I said I suspect that he is going away with her for the weekend. I really don't know if I should hang on for hope of him coming back. I really don't know if I want him back after being so cruel to me like this. Can a marriage ever be good after episodes like this with a husband of 35 yrs. This man is 60. Impotant and prostrate cancer. What the H _ ll is he looking for. Just tell me opinions of whether its worth being treated this rotten. Should I go for Divorce at this stage of the game????? How long can I put up with this??????

Not with your current attitude.
You need to decide if you want to heal this M or not. Right now, you are coming across as bitter, angry and demanding - so of course he'd rather spend time with her.
Rather than post, take the time to read the concepts on the site, and order the books. It sounds like you need to read up on infidelity and learn about plan A & plan B.
Good luck.
I vented alot in the beginning, but you can't heal until you are open to learning. You have the tools on this site, only you can decide how you are willing to change, and whether you will use the tools you are shown. Your healing and growth is not about him now, but about you.

I know you tried a Plan A for a while, and I know you struggled with your wrath. Plan B would be a good way of protecting your spouse from your anger. I know this is probably not at the top of your list, but if you want to save your marriage, you have to protect him even when he’s not protecting you.

If you have had enough and don’t want this man anymore, then let him go along with all your anger and bitterness.

Please don’t take it as a personal affront, an intended slight, if he takes this OW away on a trip that you should have gone on. Instead, raid any joint accounts, and take yourself and a good friend on your Christmas trip or anniversary trip.

I don’t remember what you’ve done financially, but you need to ensure you’ll have enough cash to live on. That means emptying the joint accounts if he hasn’t already done so.

And talk to a lawyer. It’s best to be prepared.