Hi
I want to say thank you for trying to help with my situation with my husband telling me that he don't love me anymore. I went to the chaplain on base today and told him about the problems and he said to tell your husband that he can come in and talk to me or I will go and let his command master chief know what is going on, and he said my husband would not really want that to happen. Well I went ahead and made an appointment for the two of us next Friday to come and talk to the chaplain. The chaplain told me that if my husband was to call and cancel the appointment that he is going to let the command know what is going on. So either way my husband would have to talk to someone. I just feel kind of stupid for what I did. I went ahead and told him and he went balistic and threw the ironing board and iron across the room and went into the kitchen and punched the refrigerator. He said I was a stupid B*tch and that I just ruined his career, because the chaplain would go and tell his command and get him in trouble, I told him it was confidential and as long as he went to the appointment with me that everything would be fine, I wasn't expecting him to just stop everything and tell me that he loves me. I just can't believe that he has been stringing me along nearly our whole relationship "pretending" as he says that he loved me when he really didn't. It was just last January when he was in Navy basic training that he called and told me to send his wedding ring to him where he could wear it and wrote me sweet letters. He said that he thought when I moved to be with him when he started to go to school in the Navy that things might be different, now he said he sees that he can't make himself love me and nothing that I could do or say could change that fact. How in the hell am I supposed to just go on with my life when my identity is with him? This seems so easy to him, I guess because when you don't feel no love for someone, it doesn't hurt you. I told him today that I hope he falls in love with a woman and she doens't feel the same for him and hurts him like I've been hurt by him. I am so hurt!! I feel like the last 8 years that I have spent with him, was all a lie, and now I've got to raise our son by Myself, while he lives it up in the Navy doing God knows what. Life just isn't fair, I just wish God would take me on now, and get this f*cked up life over with.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by angielt:
<strong> I just wish God would take me on now, and get this f*cked up life over with. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">angie,

I certainly feel your pain. Have BTDT, too.

But you've been registered on this site since last April, 2002 (over 1½ yrs), maybe reading since before then, so I just want to ask you a few questions....

I'm really concerned about the high level of anger and bitterness and depression I still "hear" in your posts. This is a long time to still be feeling this much pain.

What have you learned to help you through this in all that time? What have you read, and tried?

Is it that your H didn't know what he wanted to do, and now he does? Is he having A? Have you suggested counseling with him? Have you gone for counseling before?

I'm just asking b/c I "hear" an awful lot of pain, and there really IS a way to navigate through this devastation without having to endure it at its deepest levels. This site is GREAT for helping one heal from such a life-altering event.

What are you doing for YOU? You should be taking care of YOU right now. Try to step back and take some time to pamper yourself. Take long, hot bubble baths (this is what i did a LOT!). Read, sleep - if possible. Listen to your favorite music, or pick a new favorite, if it all reminds you of WH (is what I had to do). Redecorate (I couldn't afford anything, so I sewed new drapes, and moved the furniture all around!). Go out to fine restaurants and enjoy your favorites.....buy a couple of nice new outfits that flatter you!!!

Please take care of YOU. Your son is going to need you more than ever now.

God Bless,

<small>[ January 10, 2004, 11:50 AM: Message edited by: lupolady ]</small>