i aam angry all the time.
i have no one to talk to about things that are building up inside and slowly destroying me.
i dont have any friends and the peeeople who are my "friends" i met through my h and all and all there loyality is to h ,i am so fed up with my h not being there emotionally i love him very much and my kids i adore .i felt jealous of my son the other day and i am so angry at myself for it and i feel trapped i have no time to sort my feelings out and understand them because i haave to tend to everyone elses feelings ,Do I sound like a little brat? i dont know what i want to do the easiest thing would be to walk away but i cant do that to my children because without them i would haave nothing but i dont want to resent them or be angry toward them for something that has nothing to do with them ,gosh ..am i making any sense..
i just want to screammmm cant do that cause i will wake my baby...lol <~~~humoring myself : )

Mixed,
First welcome to MB! I think you will like it here.<p>The symptoms you described sound just like me before I went to therapy and got on anti-depressants. And I am glad you are looking for a way to help yourself. <p>I think the first step is a trip to the doctor--it sounds like you are depressed and he/she can give you something to help even out your emotions. These little pills literally saved my life.<p>Second, I recommend a good individual therapist--it's really wonderful to have someone to talk to whose primary concern is YOUR health and happiness. If you don't click with one therapist, don't be afraid to look for another or another, until you find one that you feel comfortable with. <p>Please tell me what you think about these suggestions. I, along with dozens of others on this site, care about you and want to help if we can. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

Hey M.E.! diddallas gave good advice (don't tell her I said that. It goes to her head) But let me add to it. Yes everything you wrote made sense. Felt like that myself a time or two. Still do some days and yesterday was one of those days. And this is the place to SSCCCRRREEEAAAMMMMM!!!!! Talk to people here. They've sure helped me. And you can scream at God. I do. He can handle it. It helps me.
Being angry all the time is a sign of depression. See your Doctor. I did. I was a real terror to live with. I was angry all the time too. Gee I'd explode if I thought the radio was on the wrong channel. So explode here. It's safer.And keep posting here so we'll know your progress. It might help someone else. (Particularly me)

Mr. Weatherford,<p>big head? who, me? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Mixed,<p>Post and let us know how you are. I remember the day I decided I had to get help--my darling daughter-4 at the time- forgot a school book and it flashed thru my head that if I just beat her, I'd feel so much better. Don't let yourself get to that point. I was able to ignore that thought but it was scary.<p>The best news is that there is help--mentioned above. And as Jerry said, come yell at us!

<small>[ January 27, 2005, 04:01 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

ok now i am really pissed off .sorry First i wanted to say thank you for those who have replied it really made me feel good
ok today my 3 yr old talked back to my h and he slapped hime across the face and i came unglued thats bull u never hit a kid in the face NEVER i dont care what he did.thats bull i told my h that i dont care who it is "even him " if they slap my child across the face . i am going to protect my child .and he just told me to f* off he will keep doing it untill he learns(son) and i told him if it happens again i am going to going to do the same thing to him (h) .You see my H does infact treat me with the same respect as he does OUR child .I am through I cant stand to put myself or exspecially my children through this crap .He doesnt listen he tells me what i have to say is not worth listening to .UGH...i am traped dammit and i hate it.I am here because i have to be right now because therre is no where else for me to go i have absoulley no money he makes sure i have to ask him for two dollars to go to the store and get some milk . i dont have a car because no D.L. .I have looked for over and over a job that i can do at home and i keep getting screwed .one place got a 100.00 from mem well(h) and all they sent me was a book andafloppy disk .
Please please if anyone knows of a place hiring (that i can do from home because i need to know my kids are being watched)Orif you can help me in anyway with one Please .i need out i am tired of being hit and and fight and having to worry about it .please

OK kid it's time for outside help. It's getting physical. Abuse can't happen. Call your local welfare department and tell them what's happening and that you need help. Tell them about the abuse. 99.99% of work at home deals are just scams unless you have mega-bucks to invest. And if you had mega-bucks you wouldn't need a work at home job. What state do you live in? Maybe I can help direct you to the right place for help. And the next time he gets abusive...the number is 911...and file a complaint. And do it every time it happens until you can get out of there. Then once your out you 2 can work on your marriage. It not time to walk. It's time to run.

<small>[ January 27, 2005, 04:03 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Jerry is right! You must leave immediately. Call your local police department and ask for a women's shelter. Take your kids and go. No one has the right to hit you or your children. <p>Let them help you...that's what they're there for. Will it be hard? Yes. But no harder than watching your child be abused. Please, please, please get out now!<p>Please let us know where you are...I would also like to see what is available to help you. But you really have to leave...as Jerry said, you can work on rebuilding the marriage after you're safe.

hi ,im sorry i cant go to my local welfare office ,you see when i was 15 and had my first child who is now seven i screwed up and he got taken away from me he no lives with my aunt .but am not goign that way again i want to leave peacefully save money and get out with out while he is gone.i thank u for your advice i really do i just need to do it this way .

How old are you now? Do you have any family you're close to?

OK M.E.! There's a world of difference between screwing up and getting beat! If welfare finds out by another means that your H is abusing the child they'll step in anyway. Not to scare you kid but it's best to have them on your side and that's where they'll be if you call them first. Don't let them find out from someone else that you and your son are getting beat on and you're not seeking help. Get in the phonebook and find a help hotline. Trying to protect your child won't get him taken away. You're screwing up by staying there. At the very least call the police next time it happens AND FILE A COMPLAINT. That puts the law on your side. Also there is a world of difference between being 15 and 22. Keep us posted. We're all praying for you. Jerry.