My now Ex and I spent the weekend up north with the kids, she wanted to see the area where I will be moving to with the kids in six months.

We talked alot, and one of the conversation was about the affair,she says that it was her actions that led to the affair and not OM and that he is a good man and had nothing to do with it. A good man/woman with any morals would have just backed off, but then again I maybe wrong about that. Is she trying to justify her guilt or just protecting OM?

She says that her heart was drawn to the affair and was not thinking about the consequences.
Her giving up on the kids was thought out and as much as it broke her heart, it was the right thing to do because the kids would be in a better and stable enviroment with me. I have not been able to figure it out the difference between seperating thoughts and emotions. Don't they go hand in hand with each other?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by All Alone Again:
<strong> My now Ex and I talked alot, and one of the conversation was about the affair,she says that it was her actions that led to the affair and not OM and that he is a good man and had nothing to do with it. Is she trying to justify her guilt or just protecting OM?
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Basically she had A, left you and her kids, would rather be spending her time w/om. You have subsequently div'd, you have primary custody, and their kids will now live their lives only seeing their mom part time, and you will be moving out of your home, to another state, and uprooting and destroying your kids security and their home.

My take on her comments is that it really doesn't matter how much blame is hers, and how much is om's.

Their selfishness has caused untold pain and upheaval in the lives of several innocent people.

IMHO, she is BOTH "protecting" om, AND justifying her actions, but as I said, WHY DOES IT MATTER? This has been extremely damaging regardless.

If I were to live to 2,000 years old, I could never understand a mother who could leave her children FOR ANY REASON, let alone an immoral OM. But that's just me.

You seem to be doing OK, and I wish my best to you and your children.

Hi Alone,

What your wife was saying to you is nothing but JUSTIFICATION for not dealing with what actually happened.I heard the same ridiculous stories from my WH.I told him that if this OW was so moral and good,why did she help destroy a marriage and cause pain to another woman,her children not to mention they are HIS children too,two families and friends by getting involved with ANOTHER woman's husband?

It was NOT the right thing to do what your WW did and again she is trying to talk herself into believing that,that's all.Anyone in their right mind knows that ALL affairs are worng and are selfish, hurtful acts,end of story.WS's try to rationalize all thier bad behavior,that is obvious.Grrrr.

O

I had a feeling she was just protecting OM, and laying blame for her own self. I found out today that OM was moving to Vegas, what was she going to do, he told her that she should not abandon her kids. Is this another way of saying to her "Hasta la vista"?

I am not leaving the state, but still about 250 miles away. Ex agreed that it would be best for the kids and me, they will be closer to their cousins (ex's family), they have offered to help me the kids which will be a huge plus. For the kids sake, we are friends and we do talk.

Thank you

Ah, famous last words of OP...foggy words...He tells her what she wants to hear...She tells you things that make her look good and make OM look good...

Truth is...
1)She left you and the kids for a crotch fest. Yea, only right thing she said was that she left kids with you because of the much more stable environment..Shacking up with OP is not stable. And for sure she's not only protecting him but she's protecting her selfishness and her image from further degradation...But you can't get much lower than that.
2)Sounds like loverboy may be checking out...And I don't see it as either good or bad for you and the kids..You are making a new life for you and these little ones. They need a committed parent..Whether it's one or two doesn't matter. What counts is that there's one parent who can be this to them. And yea, it sure sounds like he's moving away. How convenient? Getting a job in vegas, the sleaze capital of the world. Or is that bangkok? Geez. Could be ATL if you looked at my xwh..lol! Not sure how long their affair has lasted but it may have seen the proverbial "light of day" and be dying a sleazy death.

Kudos to my friend here who said that if she lived to 2k years, she couldn't get how a mom could leave her kids...You tell em' lupo...

Seen the commercial about Vegas? "What happens here stays here." Let's hope OM goes there and she begins to see the real fruit of her recent labor...Lying, cheating, leaving your family for Mr. Wonderful and this? Poetic justice. I am praying for you and the kids to stay strong.

It's good of you to be kind to your x, but don't don't don't get sucked into her little drama or fog. I will have to repeat this to myself if my x tries that again. Until they walk the walk and it's proven that they are by a third professional party, I would not believe my xwh.

Thanks for all the words of encouragement, wx says that she is willing to go to a therapist, admits that she is on this roller coaster. I just think she knows that OM is leaving her behind that now she has no where to go.

Is this indication that she will come out of her fogg, or will she just start a new search for another man to use her until she gets dumped again? What if she comes back and they seem to always do, want to work on rebuilding the relationship? She mentioned the other day that she wants to earn my trust again but knows it will take time.

My X, drank her self drunk so she cannot face the embarrassment of leaving her kids for OM. In the end she will regret ever doing it. What man would want her, if she told them the truth.