Me and my wife have been separated for alittle over 6 months. During the middle of this, it looked as if we would get back together as we hung out almost every weekend. She left for Florida for many weekend trips in the beginning of our separation and I asked her to tell me what happened while she was away because it occurred to me that she might have met someone and was a different person now because of it.

The reason we separated is that we both had affairs starting with me and I thought it would be best to give eachother space and reevaluate our relationship thinking we would come back together stronger or fonder of eachother. Well it worked for me but not for her. She has become a person that I don't recognize--she even admits that she thinks she's regressed some always wanting to be alone and free.

she has lived in the house during this time while I'm in an apartment. We're selling the house and she's getting her own apartment. I'm having a real hard time letting go and was hoping to get some feedback from you all. Since Jan. 1 which I stupidly set a deadline for her to make up her mind, she says she doesn't want anything to with me but be friends. I have asked her to hold off on the divorce until we can get a true separation by her getting her own place and getting out of the house finally where she was reminded of all the bad things I did apparently which in my mind is distorted from what really happened. We had a great relationship but she is unable to see that right now and it hurts me to hear her put the blame on me. Please let me know what you think as I am in dire straits right now trying to hold on while my world is falling apart.

When people separate, unfortunately it can lead to the end. My EX wanted to separate, only for it to allow her to invite OM over to my home. We are divorced now.......My wife and her EX separated for 1-1/2yrs and it allowed him time to spend with other women. They eventually divorced also. If a couple feels they need to separate, I fear that is basically going to end in divorce.

BUT how can u convince them to not seperate? To give it another chance??? Right now my W says that I am wasteing her time and mine by TRYING to work things out. She says " absence makes the heart grow fonder" but I know deep in my soul that this will be the end of us.

Hey chipper,

I read ur post and I know what u mean about all you can hear is OH God Help me. I was crying those words to him Sat night. I know what ur going through, cuzz Im going through the same thing right now but H has filed for D last Sat.

I'm sorry that ur wife told you that she doesn't love you and that it's a waste of time trying to make it work. I heard the same words from my H. It's almost the worst thing you can ever hear from someone.

I hope you feel better today. I went and saw a doctor yesterday to get some help and decided to invest in some running shoes. I hear excercising gives you endorphines which is a chemical in our body that makes us happy so I thought well why not give it a shot and hopeful look better too.

I feel your pain so take things one day at time and we'll be ok.

Thanks depressed.. I am trying exercise too... my arms and stomach still hurt from the situps and push-ups I was doing last night.. That is why I posted under your origanal post. I am liveing what you are living!I am praying every day for you and for myself and today I am feeling better but today she says again that she wants to try and work it out. SO for now I stay confused and hurt. at this point I just want it to be over one way or the other. Just so long as the hurting stops. If you ever wanna chat my Yahoo messanger is ln_raven and I have ICQ 95772468 message me either way anytime you wanna chat. Thanks for listening and understanding.