justpeachy - You need to go QUICKLY to store and get some popcorn so you can sit back and watch the new dog and pony show.

Jethro and family values are going to provide the entertainment of the year. I've already got my snacks - please send updates ASAP.

Sorry to hear this latest peachy. But I knew it was coming, since my X has followed such a similar pattern to yours.

My X was remarried on July 4th last year, and it now seems like such a long time ago. So I can say that you will get through this pretty well unscathed. I did. Not without hurt, and God knows WHY it hurt, since I certainly didn't love him by then, but you still have YOURSELF and YOUR SON, and when we get right down to it, that is all that matters.

A word of advice....get things like birthday parties and what happens with that sorted out now, if you don't already. I am getting from my X now that CC has every right to come to my daughter's party now that they are married. I said no, and I am the worst person in the world. I see it as an issue as to what message he is giving his daughter if he won't come by himself, and HE sees it as a pointer that I am using the kids as pawns. Well, sorry, but I don't let people I don't like enter my home, and that includes the X's new wife. Sheesh, my D doesn't WANT her there.

I am wishing I had foreseen he would want to try that one, and put boundaries in place for it ages ago. They ARE in place now, but it would have been better planning to do it in advance.

I too am still having a lot of trouble with the step mother concept. I do not accept it yet, and I guess time will tell if I ever do. But I keep it to myself, just like you do with your son. He will see the situation for what it is all by himself. My kids do, and it is funny to listen to their rants when they get home, and yet I say not a word to them in a negative way. In fact, I (YUK)tell them to respect their elders. Well, someone has to.

The best advice I can give you is what others have said....live well and be happy. X's hate it, they really do. If you want revenge of any kind, this is the most fun, cos you don't get hurt doing that, and you know it is rankling the X. You are right, you are free now. So am I, and X isn't. He now has to maintain our upkeep AND cater for CC. She has her own car, she wears designer clothes, buys WIGS for God sake, and wants him to spend money on her all the time. I know his issues with money, he hates spending it. And now he has to spend a double dose. Is that making him happy? No, I think it will make him feel trapped again. But I don't care. I am free to do what I want.

Remember that post I gave you the other day about letting go? Please print it up and tape it next to your pc. I can't tell you how seeing those words helps me. It affirms what I really do think about things now....HIS life, not mine, HIS choices, not mine, HIS mistakes, not mine, HIS loss, not mine. It is good to be reminded of this each day as we tread this road.

Can't wait until u start dating! Should make good reading, peachy beating them off with a big stick, lol. You go girl, and don't waste another tear on that man. He is not worth the nail on your little finger.

Love and light,

Jacky

Ah Jacky...I remember when your x doofus did that too. I knew I was on parallel road with you. Now I guess is when is our parallel x thing going to end in divorce? I give my x two years.

So CC wears wigs? Gross. If I knew my x's ow/wife or wistress as I have now coined wore a wig, then one day when the kids were somewehre else or if I just had business with them, I'd greet them at the door wearing one myself. Except one that doesn't look anything like my hair? I'd probably say that "oh, sorry. I was having a BAD HAIR day so I saw how you fixed yours and bought a wig too!" ha ha ha ha ha. But I would'nt waste my money on that.

And yea, we're the free ones. My sis thinks I should always throw in stuff to jethro to make him now think I have this cool lifestyle and am going out all the time. You've been kinda doing that and it could be fun. And as far as the step thing goes with Ow/wife, well I don't believe they will be together permanently but I also tell my son to just be nice to them. And I don't let her come to my home or into my driveway or anything. Sorry. Boundaries are boundaries. I don't let jethro come near much either though. And while this shock is still here, it's going away. Wierd dream last night. Had nothing to do with the x either. Just very wierd dream.

And like you, I am not in love with him. I kinda loathe him. I dread ever hearing his voice or seeing him b/c it's like disgust at this point. But let's move ahead this year! I think we can do so quite well. Get that book too...and we will decipher it together and figure out how in the heck we can be waywards when our kids are with their other parent (but be wayward within reason)...lol! I will bet one gazillion dollars if we do that then our x's will start complaining about us and our new life. Say same stuff we said about them. hardy har har.

{{{{{{PEACHY}}}}}}}

I am so glad to see you back! And I so wish I had the courage as you do to VENT! VENT! VENT! it all here.

I think you knew it was coming! ie: the marriage! What angers me is that Jethro is still trying to control you! Not letting you move on.

My ex who still has the same OW he left his family for still hasn't told anyone about her or let anyone meet her or anything. My ex has chosen her over his own children. Spends NO time with them except on x-mas eve for a few hours. That is is! 3 hours in 1 year. So let me think since we split he he has spent a total of 13 hours with his children in the last 2 1/2 years. (opps! My little vent!)

But from what I can tell you are a strong woman and you will get over this. And of course once you do - Jethro will throw another monkey wrench in to your life! What Jethro need to realize is that at this point - the only thing he needs to talk with you about is your son and he doesn't need to ask your son if you are dating or anyting of that nature. He lost that right the day he walked out of your life. It is none of his business anymore. Stay strong Peachy! I know you can do it!

Peachy, I have GOT to tell u this story, so funny! But you won't get it until you see the third Austin Powers movie Goldmember....

My D kept coming home talking about CC's hair. I never worked out why until they were there for a week. D was saying that CC's hair kept changing...obviously very confusing for a seven year old.

So after their week away, they had seen CC's collection of wigs all lined up, and came back and told me. They were saying she was bald, lol.

For the first week they were home, they kept going around saying "Baldy, baldy BALDY!!!!" with me saying they shouldn't say that, but laughing at the same time...if you have seen that movie, you'll know why. If not, get it....it's funny!

Love and light,

Jacky

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> About five or six mos. from now, she will know...When there are two am feedings and Jethro will as before, tell her IT'S HER JOB TO STAY UP AND FEED BABY and she'll go without sleep and be a zombie for a year or two or more...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I just hope she gets THE LABOR SHE DESERVES...Long and hard and an episiotomy the length of the mississippi river... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I just gave birth two weeks ago and was up until 2:30 with a colicky baby last night and I STILL thought that was hysterical! I'm happy I'm not your enemy because I certainly wouldn't want that wished upon me.

Sorry you were up all night...Colick ain't fun...And I am sorry. I don't wish to be mean, but I was there and did that...Gave birth via emergency c sec. to preemie and he was up every two to three hours for many mos...and x never helped. So that's why I wish it on her.

And that's hilarious jacky about the wigs! So, Clickety Clack is goin' for the Sinead o'Connor look? The Dr. Evil look? The Kojak look? Tht's so funny. Her hair KEPT CHANGING...

Family Values has gone for the elvira look. Long and dark with these blonde streaky things in it. Complete opposite of me...And Blady you're right. He has no right to ask about my life at all. He knows he won't hear it from me...He does have one possible contact but it will not work...One of my girlfriends used to date one of his playboy pals (wealthy never married guy) but she dumped him after he cheated on her. He would find out what I was doing b/c the guy would ask my friend "well what have you and THE GIRLS BEEN UP TO?" She told him not knowing that Steve was friends with JEthro. And last year, Jethro kept finding stuff out...Like what my girlfriends did when I signed the papers...where we went out...etc. Now his playboy buddie is dumped by my friend, guess he has to resort to asking a five year old. I won't forget right before he left for Disneyworld...he asked "what are your plans for new years?" Got any? I said "sure do". That's all I said.

I have got one to top the baldy and the multiple wigs...

Two days before Jethro left for his elopement/disney, we had to do the holiday switch off...So I met him nearby at gas station with my son to do that. He shows up one morning and I am not one to hide my feelings very well...anyway, he had grown out a goatee again and couldn't help but notice it had grown in Grey...yea, grey this time. Plus he was dressed kinda wierd like a fifteen year old again. I know I looked at him rather puzzlingly...He said "what...what are you looking at?". I say nothing. Then I say that he's getting some grey it looks like (I mean can we figure that out? He knocked up his mistress, lost his wife, has been living like Hugh Hefner for last three years...enough to make most men bald or grey)...Jump ahead to the next morning...Jethro shows up again at same gas station to do switchoff of child and voila! A style change! Suddenly his goatee is Black and his hair is black again! And he is dressed in khaki's and a normal kind of shirt...I still look at him rather puzzled.

It was hilarious. I controlled him for a change. And by what? Saying he had a few greys and looking hard at his clothes? It is amazing the fog. Poor wittle x. He doesn't know who he is supposed to be or look like. Is he supposed to look like a twenty five year old or is he an almost 36 year old father and businessman? It must be hard trying to be both. Funny thing is now that he has done the "Just for Men" thing...he and FV must look like sister and brother...earlier in summer, she put in some blonde streaky things into his black hair...yuck. Businessmen don't need to look like surfers or skateboarders.

It's just hilarious how the WS change to fit moods. Change truth to fit their sitch. Like professional chameleons. Everything to everybody. And mine? He has not worn a wedding ring every time I have seen him since he supposedly eloped with Elvira/FV. I just thought I'd share the just for men thing with you just for fun...

I have done one rebellious thing though...I am growing my hair even a bit longer...it's long and below my shoulders now. But am growing it maybe two more inches. And got makeover before Christmas by oneof my girlfriends who's a makeup artist. If anybody looks like the twentyfive something, it's me. And I don't have any grey. I wonder what he'd do if I put on a wig and looked like Pink or something...Or wore some really really low slung jeans one day and some thong sandals like the teens here in ATL do. That would be funny. Say to him "what? what is wrong with my clohtes? Everybody's wearing it." Arrrrgh.

But at least I am laughing now. Am getting ready for my favorite class@ gym! Latin Cardio funk impact! I must confess something...They play this cool mix during class of two Ricky Martin songs..I have the hots for him big time. That is the hottest man alive. I swear if I ever lost my morals, it would be with him for one night. Does my lusting for that latin hottie mean that I am beginning to want to get on with things now? Just wondering. Maybe I'm just gettin' a bit anxious b/c I've been the nun for almost 2 years. Unless you count the "for god's sake I am still married" sex I had with the x a year and two months ago. And it wasn't that good even then.

I guess this does mean I aM HEALING! I do have a pulse after all! This is cool.

Peach,
You are doing f-i-n-e! I totally agree with telling him that you are a FREE woman now and what you do is NONE of his biz! He's the one with a ball and chain and what's more than a hard labour ... a brand new "the world is all about me" baby. They are so into themselves that a totally dependant, demanding infant is going to be a real eye opener!!! And where will you be ... well, on the nights you are a free mom ... out with the girls.. on the town... having a ball and living the life that he left you for and that he's lost!!!!
OH well, living well is the best revenge.
You might want to remind him of the demands of an infant in the home. Especially when the mom is not all that together. I would say I wish them luck but they've made that bed themselves.

O my! JustPeachy with the J-Lo look! How about Beyonce with her sky-high miniskirts? Would that ever knock him for a loop!
Grey to Black? Well, anybody with $5 in their wallet and tears in their eyes can dye their Goatee, Beard or hair black...
Ole boy's getting older...
Me? I'm 'salt & peppa' myself and darned proud of it! My wife absolutely adores it.
Peachy, you go girl!
MaXX

Dear Peachy,

I hope this helps:
Maybe he never told you or your son about his marrying the skank because
1. He has the good grace to be a little ashamed, and didn't want to announce the wedding beforehand;
2. It meant so little to him. After all, it IS a shotgun wedding.
3. He wasn't proud, happy or excited about the marriage or his new wife. Merely "going through the motions."

Stay well.

No real venting today!!!But will need prayers and get to that part later today..

Had a SKANK-less week and it was nice. No dealings with hair dye gone amuck or goatee-wearing waywards! So that was nice.

Wanna hear my new quandries?

Ok...And my buddy from MB (hey I have been blessed with a few but to protect his innocence I shall not give his name here) I helped him write his first online personals ad! Yea! He's getting on with life! He rocks...Anyway, there's this cool site that was recommended to me by a doc I am friends with...called greatboyfriends/girlfriends.com. You have to recommend a person as a boyfriend or girlfriend and it is supposed to weed out the "Ladies' Men" and "Skanks" out there...So I wrote his profile. And they ask to put up the photo of the "fabulous woman who recommended him" thus I put mine up. Got an email today from a doctor in ATL (not my friend) wanting to talk and said it was cool I recommended my friend. He's cute and two years younger and in similar specialty...but my dating profile isn't up, just says my mail message center there and my photo.

Then comes the attack of the dog walker. LIve in traditional subdivision with 2.5 kids and four bedrooms. I thought I was only single person here. Wrongo! Apparently there's this single guy who lives around corner who walks his dog all the time. Walks and smokes his cigar too..Anyway, Mr. Dog walker has taken to leaving "post-it notes" on my mailbox. Asking for dinner or date. It's hilarious.

Then comes the wierd coincidence with some of my friends. Seems a guy who knew me in college back home moved here a few years ago and ran into some of my friends and said he'd seen me either at grocery store or walmart or something. He was a friend of my college boyfriend and never married, two years older with mba. Good job. Anyway, he commented to my friends "I wonder if she'd like to go out sometime? When I saw her she was walking really fast with her head focused down..She didn't look terribly open." What in the heck did that mean? I don't know. But my friends said "well Matt, she hasn't been open for business in about two years ok?" And to add more intrigue, his backyard is on a hilltop and it overlooks JETHRO'S SUBDIVISION AND HIS HOUSE...He comments to my friends he's seen Jethro alot at gas station around corner from his house and that "JETHRO THROWS WILD PARTIES DURING THE SUMMER AND HAS INSTALLED AN OUTDOOR SPEAKER SYSTEM AND PLAYS DANCE/TECHNO/RAP MUSIC"..Really makes the neighbors angry...My friends say he knows (my friend of college boyfriend) that Jethro was horrible to me and more than evil and that HE GIVES JETHRO REGULARLY DIRTY LOOKS AT GAS STATION. My my...Jethro getting dirty looks from people he hasn't even met. And late last night got phone call from this guy...Had to look me up in directory assistance. He asks me to go out and says my friends tell him I love sushi.

Well what in the heck do I do? I have NOT considered dating yet. But he seems really nice and is sort of cute. He says stuff about the hilltop and the annoying rap music playing down below and yada ydad yada. I say, "well, that's jethro and one of the many reasons I divorced him." He asked if I liked the opera too and if I'd seen "The Producers" which is coming to the Fox theater here in april. I don't know..

So he's gonna call me soon. I guess I don't know if I am open for business or not. I am sooooo darn confused. I haven't been open for business. Do I turn the sign around now? This weekend ironically all I wanted to do was help my MB friend here get HIS DATING LIFE JUMPSTARTED. Not mine. Wierd wacky turn of events.

One things' for sure. I am not going out with cigar-smoking Mr. Dog Walker.

Here's where I need the prayer part...My major account has been transferred that I work on (do contract work) due to a very controlling doctor who thinks he owns cardiology in this state...he doesn't btw..and he's trying to re-nig on his contract with my company. Thus my company is having within 2 weeks to find me new accounts and I am helping them search. They've assigned three managers to jump on this as my company wants to keep me or else I will have to work prn instead of full-time. I am going into corporate office wednesday and work hand-in-hand with these managers and cfo to market and work on their sales stuff to get my new accounts going and I need some huge prayers! Please pray! My company is run by a great group of Christian men and they are praying and believe and have said that when they have needed things like this, it's always come through for us.

Please pray that we get new accounts for me. If not one huge job, then two smaller ones where I will work five days consecutive thus keeping status of full time. I am also side-stepping and have to..income and son depends on me..looking at other full time positions here in ATL. One promising one is with Chrildren's Hospital here. But my company is going to attempt negotiations with them. I love kids and have much experience doing peds and also missed doing brain work. They do alot of brain perfusion studies. Smaller cardio office not too far away may be possibility that they are researching for me too. I in fact, supplied the first five leads to my company for the managers to jump on. Pray that either avenue is successful. I have about four weeks until I hit the panic button once more.

This has been the most stressful year of my life. Please pray that all goes well. I will always work as I have a good degree and my company is standing behind me and would give glowing recommendation should I have to leave and their efforts aren't successful. But I feel deep down that when you assign three top managers and cfo is involved along with da peach, that we might be able to rustle up some new accounts for me that equal full time.

Pray ok?

ok...getting too wierd now. Just got message from message center and read it...seems some attorney here in ATL wants to talk. He's cute and geez..

I SURE COULD HAVE USED AN ATTORNEY A FEW MONTHS AGO...lmaorotf.

This is backfiring. It's supposed to be for my FRIEND. NOT ME. He'd best be getting chicks emailing him because it sure is working for me and I did absolutely nothing but recommend him and stick a small photo up of me eating sushi.

Hey Peachy,

Ok girlfriend! You are NO longer married! Your Ex has moved on to the skanky thing and now you know what - its time for PEACHY! Someone wants to ask you out! What would it really hurt? Maybe make a new friend? Maybe more? Maybe someone you would NEVER in your life go on a date with again - but you will never know unless you take your shoes off and start to get your feet wet. Who will know unless you try it. Sometimes company of the other gender is what we all need now and then! Go with what your heart tells you though!

(I guess I need to start taking my own advice - heehee)

I will be praying for you with what is going on with your work! I know it will all work out for you!

You Go Girl!

Thanks BBug!
You go to...

Maybe I should go out with the hilltop neighbor. You're right. It wouldn't kill me. He is sort of cute.

I might say ok to some sushi.

And making a friend could not be bad either.

Thank you for praying about the other. I sure need that. More than you could possibly imagine!

Peachy
I'm glad to see you still posting...last I remember you had said "so long". You have a lot to give here at MB to those who come along after, and I hope you stick around <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Your personal ad situation is quite funny, and you seem to see the humor too! Now did you think you would actually HAVE A CHOICE of dates/friends/guys/whateveryouwanttocallthem at this point last year? Do what feels comfortable to you, be it none, one, or go out with each one (individually, of course!). Although since you have so many now, maybe it would save time if you had a group date, LOL.

I'll be praying about your job situation too. But all in all, you seem to be doing well. You're an inspiration to many here.