Hi everyone i'm new here and i'm so lost in my situation. i'll try to be brief about my stiuation. but I was with my high schools weetheart for about 9 years we were married about a year we have a 4yr old and a 7 month old. well in the past 9 years my husband has broken up with me about 9 times all siting things like "he doesnt know what he wants" etc. well the past three years were really good until when I was pregnet w/ our second Child my husband started acting wierd and he said he didnt know what he wanted. come to find out he was having at lest an emotional affair (i never found out if it was more). well we spent the next coupole months debating what we were going to do he finnanly agreed to work on things he said he stopped talking to this friend but after a few months i foudn the phone bills he was still talking to the girl every day so i kicked him out during that time in the beginning he said we were definatly getting a divorce. after awhile i had met someone and started dating. my husband found out and all of a sudden he wants me back, hes changed ,he loves me etc. we cant get a divorce until our bankruptcy is done.
Well all along i was confident i wanted a divorce my main reasoning is that if he leaves me again (which is what his history shows) the kids will be older and hurt more (they barely notice now) but the past week ive been really second guessing myself. he has made me promises that if we stay togehter that i can be a stay at home mom, he'll have more kids, we'll buy ahosue asap..
any ideas,opioionons btdt? thanks in advance
xalsyabeth

I'm truly sorry for the situation you find yourself in. My advice is that you and your H need to go to a marriage counselor to help you each figure out if you do or do not want to have a marriage. If he doesn't go with you, you need to go alone and figure out what you want and are willing to put up with.

One foot in and one foot out...on either person's part....cannot go on forever, and will in the long run do more damage to your kids than a divorce.

God bless.

Welcome, and I’m sorry you found yourself in such a situation.
Mrs. O is right. You need help. Promises of change mean little if there is no plan for the change. It’s sort of like his promise to buy a house asap. Given that you are in bankruptcy proceedings, you’ll need a good plan and it still will take years. Without an action plan, you’ll never build the good credit history you need to buy a house.

A plan is absolutely a must. Next in line is a coach. Someone who can motivate you to stick with the plan even when you don’t feel like it. I mean how many of us really want to run those 2 miles first thing in the morning? And the coach should be able to help you fine tune your plan when it needs it.

And believe me the cost of the coaching will be worth every penny if you get a good one, so shop around. In fact, it will save you money over a divorce.