I need some advice. Me and my husband have been married for a year and 1/2 and we have a hard time since we've been married. I have a trust problem. I caught him lieing to me and he also has a problem with staring at other women in and out of my presence. He stares at their breasts etc,etc. sometimes he does it when I am in the middle of a talking to him. I feel insecure and hurt. I feel he pays more attention to other women than me. Our sex life isn't fulfilling to me either because he is not spending enough time, it's always really quick, he likes to turn off the lights during sex and when they are on he doesn't look at me he turns his head and I know that he can take the time because he has done it a couple of times. I asked him about it and he says everything is fine but he is just busy. He seems to find time with everything else such as basketball, playstation, church, t.v. etc. but at the end of the day no time for me or sex. This just adds to how I feel. I feel even more insecure about myself and my marriage. I don't even want to come on to him anymore or try to turn him on. I have talked to him about things but they never change he doesn't have time etc. etc. Please give me advice I am really starting to resent him.

s4,<p>How old are you two? Some men are just plain retarded when it comes to being discreet about looking at other women---my H used to be real bad about this but has improved. When I 'catch' him ogling some gal, I ask him (kind of loud- [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] ) "You want me to get that waitress' phone number for you?" That's usually enough to snap his head around and cool his fire. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
Darling, all men (I really do think this is pretty universal) look at beautiful women...cute women...skinny women...men are very visual creatures. It sounds like your H needs to learn some tact about it, though. Maybe you could 'reverse role-play' the next time you go out and see how he likes being in your shoes?<p>Do you plan 'us' time? My H and I usually take the Fridays when our daughter is at her biological father's as 'our' time...no tv...sometimes dinner in bed...sometimes a new toy to experiment with...<p>It also sounds like your H has some type of sexual repression...I mean most of us are taught that sex before marriage is wrong, nasty, dirty all our lives. I don't know about anybody else but I don't have a magic switch that suddenly made it 'good and healthy' in my mind the day I got married. It may require some counseling...
You may also be able to help him overcome his inhibitions by being more forward...perhaps arousing him by letting him watch you..um, 'please' yourself...watch a soft core film together...even check out 'toys' on the net together and talk about how you might use them. And you, sugar, can slow the sex down by holding him off while you go down on him, showing him where to touch you...giving him encouragement.
Sex(good, that is) is like driving, it's a skill and must be learned.

Man's POV here....diddallas is right on here....I like to walk about two paces behind my wife to enjoy the view and she gets mad at me for doing it....you know, I sometimes why I married the way I did? Every woman that I have married has had this repressed sex thing...they just don't like it....<p>I am so miserable right now...every argument my wife and i get into is over it...she is perfectly happy and I am not. Here it is the happiest time of the year and I hate it. WE will find time to go everywhere, do everything but when it comes time to have time for us....HA