Hi I am new to this so please bare with me I dont know all the abbreviations etc....... My estranged w and I seperated in sept of 2002 and within 6 weeks she had another man (23 to be exact) in and out of my house with my 4 children youngest being 1 and half and oldest being 15. I went through major depression which included loss of job of 5 yrs, 4 suicide attempts and even loss of my dog of 12 yrs perfect country song. My problem is I stayed completely away from opposite sex for 7 month then after numerous attempts to try to reconcile I filed for divorce in july of 2003. I have dated numerous women over last few month but dont seem to be able to attach past just being friends. My question is this over last few weeks my w has all but said she doesnt want the divorce. I even asked other day to just give me yes or no answer does she want it or not and she said she will not answer me!!! I love her more then anything and would do everything in my power to work this out if that is what she wants but she wont say. Anyone been in this situation and if so do you have any suggestions. Time is running out we are scheduled for divorce court on march 24!!!!!!!!!!

I think I may have come close to a nervous breakdown as a result of the affair and abuse. It sounds like you had a reaction, too, that was extreme even for infidelity.

When I read your post, I think that I would tell your wife you will do everything you can to have a great marriage but the bad marriage is over. Either divorce is appropriate, or you both work hard now on a great marriage.

A friend of mine told me to boot him out of the house until he comes back groveling. I didn't understand but now I do. Both of us, not just one of us, needs to do everything in our power to repair the wreck of our marriage. One person cannot.

Glad you found this site in time. Cancel the divorce for now - you have lots of time to get one later. You have children that would be better off if you are able to save the marriage.

Read all of the information here and keep posting. It will help you - whether you reconcile or move on. Good luck.

I agree, use the tools on MB to repair the marriage, but it must be a joint effort.
And don't agree until you have a written, signed plan for reconciliation. This could be a committment to the MB plan, or an agreement to see a marriage counselor once a week for 20 weeks, or something like that.

For those who say they can't afford a MC, trust me, the cost of divorce is significantly higher than a counselor. Take the time now to heal your marriage, but don't reenter it as it was.

This was your wake up call. Your future begins now.

I have same problem with H, he acts like he wants to work things out sometimes but if I ask him he won't give me an answer or he will say I don't know. One week he acts like he wants nothing to do with me, the next week he asks me out, we go out & have a good time and he comes back and sleeps on the couch? It's very frustrating. I want more than anything to work things out with him and I really don't think he wants a divorce but I can't get him to commit to anything.

I really appreciate everyones imput on this it is so nice to know that I am not the only one that feels this way. How hard is it to stop the divorce do I just tell my attorney to drop it or what? I told her yesterday after reading your replies that I was gonna stop the divorce and she never said not to!!!!!!!!!!! She just said that I couldnt because we had a court date.

Tell your attorney, they'll know how to proceed to cancel or postpone.

Tell your attorney, they'll know how to proceed to cancel or postpone.
Yeah, but he's wondering if he should cancel (not go through with it) or postpone (put it off and make a decicision to do it later).

I suggest you tell your lawyer to postpone it for now. You can always cancel it at anytime if things start to work out.