I am writing because I need advise on what I can do to help two friends who after 34 years of marriage are considering divorce. It is my friend who wants the divorce and who's husband has agreed to counseling only now. They have gone before but never lasted..in all honesty..I think my friend gave up first before her husband did but, I think this has always been the way.
She is a wonderful lady, dedicated to God...but who's carried the brunt of the child raising, the bill paying, household management while her husband has pursued a very demanding career that has taken him on trips out of the country many times a year. I have known this family for 12 years. They have 6 adult kids, 2 natural, 4 adopted. The 4 adopted kids have created so many problems in their own lives with the fall out effecting she and her husband. I'm adopted and am not 'prejudiced' but I've seen this family ripped apart that last 8 years because of drugs, theft, one daughter had 3 kids removed by Child Services... I've heard and felt the pain my friend experienced and have prayed heavily because she blames herself...she's also very angry....When she was first married she was a registered Nurse but her husband had career opportunities in the States then in Canada. She left her career to raise her children and could not practice Nursing in Canada...so there has been paramount resentment of this over the years....Her husband was raised in a boarding school from a very young age..and was taught to provide financially for his family which he has done, successfully I might add. This is some of the background only and I know from my relationship with her, she feels terribly neglected and she has nothing left to give....
I read the Basic Concepts and the Article Why Women Leave Men. As their friend, I love them both. As a person who is divorced but am happily remarried to a wonderful God Loving man, I wish with all my heart they could reconcile and truly become 'in love' again. What can I do to help? (I was married to an abuser and an alcoholic so this is why I am divorced). I believe they can be a great team...I believe that they have had so many heartaches these past years, and they have both neglected each other but underneath there is a love and committment, its just buried over the piles of garbage...I believe deep in my heart they could make it and I believe that both have to work tremendously hard for success and just don't think my friend has the desire or the emotional ability to do anything right now...
What can I do to help..I will always love both..I will always support both..I will continue to pray for both..and I will stand beside them every step they take. I just hope and pray that their marriage can be saved...(hope that's not wrong of me). Any advise you can give me or lead me to is greatly appreciated.
