Hi all. I just want to say that I just read Rob Dobson's book, "Love must be tough" and I gotta say I feel empowered. Everything in there was elementary and it made complete sense. I recommend it for anyone that is feeling that they are on the weak side of a dissolving relationship.

I've done all the wrong things during my separation from my wife by overcompensating and in effect strangling her. We all seem to forget that our spouses married us for a reason. Look back and remind yourselves why that was. One of the main points I got out of the book was that in the beginning I was independent, self-confident and mysterious in a good way. That's what attracted her to me and I would bet it's the same for most everybody.

She saw me as a challenge but during the past 8 months I've been everything but. Why would she want to come back, it would be too easy and there needs to be mutual respect for it to really work. Do you respect someone that kisses your butt? No!

Another thing the book mentions that I thought was important is that we shouldn't share every thought that comes to mind with our significant others. It takes away the intrigue. Keep them guessing. My wife would ask me what I was thinking all the time and I would always tell her. It was like I took away her curiosity and made myself predictable. The same works the other way. We shouldn't expect to know what they are thinking all the time because it takes the fun out of it.

I hope that my insight helps anyone out there who just doesn't know what to do. It's funny because, it's so simple that we overlook it. You got to go back to the basics. Trying too hard makes you look desperate.

In my case, I hope to win her back by reminding her what she's missing not what I can do for her.