Faith, Call the cops do not let him in your house! It is trespassing!
Why are you scared of him? What more financially can he do to you. Let him sue you then just file a countersuit for all of the money he owes you.

Do people in your community and church know what is going on here?

Have you called the credit bureaus yet?
It is a recording and you can do it 24/7.

HAVE YOU CHANGED THE LOCKS YET?

I suspect that when you change the locks it will change something in your heart and you will be able to be a lot more assertive.

Is this why you are afraid of changing the locks? Because if you do, you won't be able to let him use and abuse you any more?

And being used and abused is so comfortable for you.

Changing the locks will be such a change for you.....can you do it? Do you have the strength?

Or will you continue to speak with him and let him in your home?

F4Me,

Do what Chris and the other have said. My g/f found out over the summer that her x still has not removed her name from credit cards, etc and she has been divorced for over 5 yrs.

Bob

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome!!!

How did he get in your house??

Do you have caller ID?? If you do, why are you answering the phone when he calls??

I see no reason why you can come here and complain about what he does to you when you are the one letting him do it.

And no he was not GIVEN to you, you CHOSE him. It's called FREE WILL.

I'm just totally amazed!

Mitzi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Who is your x? I certainly want to stay clear of him. Knowledge is power.

CALL THE POLICE!!!!!

I'm precious

Hey Gang, Me again!!!

Ya know, it seems actually kind of easy to steal anothers idendity. Yeah, we all see those dumb commercials on TV where a poor elderly lady cleaning the pool gets ripped off for a teenagers dream of building a date for the prom. Side note: did anyone notice that grandpa in the background isn't breathing?

Hell, I could steal Val's [XW] credit [if it was worth stealing] I have her SS# [courtesy of joint tax returns], date of birth [who could forget when the spawn of satan was born], mothers maiden name [not sure why I remember that], favorite color, oops nix that, and her never changing PIN number.

You find a wallet on the sidewalk of an older person. Woah, a Medicare card, gee, SS# with a letter behind it. Find the person on the internet, do a seach on geneology and you are free wheeling for a beach front house in VA Beach.

Of course it takes awhile to find out about the theft, but, It seems our topic starter knows about it now.

Check, your move.

oh, and HEY to the "old farts" on this thread. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Zippy the Pinhead

Hey Medic glad to see you!

Medic - I was married to this man for 25 years. And he used by SS# and credit cards before. Actually when he was hot in his affair, he would use my credit card for gas, and one day he called me to say that the credit card wouldn't go through, and asked why. I said I don't know. Well, he found out shortly that I had the credit card canceled. And he was so mad & called me names and yelled at me, and once again said to me at that point that is why we are separated. See he uses these words against me all the time. Saying things like, that is why we are divorced, that is why he doesn't get along with me, etc. My counselor this week told me this is mental abuse. And he is trying to put all the blame on me, so that he thinks he is the one that is okay. When he was in Arizona playing husband/wife with the fat OW, he used my credit card # and my name and social security # to rent a car. Which I found out later, and talked to the manager of that office. They didn't check for ID, which they were suppose to. XH used my SS# and name to get cell phones to. He used my credit cause it was good, while his is still is pretty bad shape. What gets me so upset, is he really doesn't care if I have bad credit. He even told me, why have credit at all, but you know those are words of jealousy. That I had good credit, and he doesn't care if he takes me down as low as he is. My XH has ruined my oldest daughters credit. Of course this oldest daughter sides with her father, and tells me she doesn't need credit. But she had to use grandmas credit card to buy her little used KIA, because her credit is ruined by XH. Grandma told her that this is no way for her to live, and at this young age to have such bad credit. But OD follows her dads path, and never sees anything wrong with her dad, cause dad pays for everything. Counselors said one day she will see the path, if not she will have a long path of difficult living.

I will be making my calls tomorrow morning, I have my alarm set to wake up early, and start making my calls. Credit check will be done, and then I will seek advice to clean my credit. I will also be calling the phone co. to get all the papers.

No I have not changed the locks, the guy Locksmith guy came over and I have to have new locks installed. The mechanism inside the lock is not working properly. Which means new holes installed, and then there will be a hole in the steel door. So he advised to just leave it if I am selling the house this spring. I really am not able to afford a new lock, cause I am putting the house up for sale this spring. Oh, I put an ad up at church, and I have someone interested in coming to see the house towards the end of May. They are renting a house, and want to get settled in before their oldest child starts school. Not going to hold my breath, but she asked me today, and her husband and I talked. Actually the price I am asking, he said sounded reasonable. So maybe I can get some of the house done, and I told them both that the house needs finishing, and a garage built, which they are going to put a garage in. He even said, that his brother is a contractor, and they will probably put a small pole barn in too. They have a dog, a rabbit, and want more animals. I told them about the subdivision coming in, and they already knew, but are going to go down to the township to look at the property line.

Yep, today was another one of those episodes that XH kept telling me what to say to my son, while I was talking to my son. See, XH has done this most of my marriage. I was not able to talk freely and show my own words my intelligent words, or my parental discipline to the kids. He was the easy one, that would let things slide, and say, ohh... poor child, daddy will let you go ahead and do it. He was the whimp, I was the one that had to discipline the kids if they misbehaved. We talked about it in counseling. Today, I corrected the XH and finally told him to shut-up, which was wrong, but did he stop, no he kept going on. He is a controller, and destroyed my self-esteem in the marriage. I see it now, he says he was just being over protective, no way, he was verbally abusing me and mentally abusing me. Today was a typical case of XH and treating me with disrespect once again.

Radical honesty, is not his character. He will deceive people so that he looks innocent. XH does seem to have a mental problem. He went to church today with my youngest son, soon to be 18. This son said he won't go back to that church. XH said it was a lot of singing, which he hates music, and the message was about attending church, and why one needs to attend church. I said you can come to my church, and my son said he will think about going with me. I told him about how the service was today. I went through the message. And that the congregation is wonderful, we are a small church and growing. Four more people became members today. The son and I talked, and he told me some sex biased jokes. We had a laugh, and it was fun to see him smile and joke with me. XH is welcome to come, like my pastor said today, he will keep praying for XH, as well as I will. That satan has control over this man, and I told the pastor about him attending a church today. He said, that is the right direction. And he told me to tell XH that the church I go to will always have there doors open to him. He probably won't attend, cause it is the church I go to, and yes, the pastor knows about my XH affair, abuse, etc. They know because I am only being radically honest with my 2nd family. And they wanted to know why I was so depressed and crying in church a lot.

I don't invite XH over, he comes over whenever he feels like it. I have asked for him to talk to me only for respect and get my okay to come over. But he feels he doesn't need to do this. So that is where this stands.

blah, blah, blah,

have you contacted the police to file a report? did they say what you needed to file one?

blah, blah, blah, . . . same words, different post. . .

I am amazed. I can't believe what I'm reading, seriously. He has you so cowed and so compliant that he can walk all over you and you'll give him your shoes to do it!

What are you thinking? Are you so hung up on that "blankty-blank" that you can't even protect yourself? Do you like complaining and saying the same things over and over again?

It's hard not to feel badly for you, but at this point everything that person you where once married to gets away with is your doing. You allow it, you invite him to your church, you invite him to your holidays and you must want him there. If that'sthe case then stop complaining about him and just live with him, if that's what you want. And please don't say you just don't want the disrespect because by now you know the type of person he is and so you are bleeding from self-inflicted wounds.

<small>[ January 25, 2004, 10:18 PM: Message edited by: Not-so-Silent-Observer ]</small>

You say you let him come over
You give excuses as to why you don't change locks
You say you want him to be nicer to you
You don't believe he is a criminal
You let him use your SS#
You let him come in
You let him come to dinner
You let him call and talk when he calls you
You do work for him
You pray for him
You hope he becomes a better person
You dated, chose and married this man.


You must still love and want to be with this criminal, this abuser, so go back to him. Let him abuse you some more, you miss the abuse so very much.

I know you must love to be abused because you cannot even stop yourself from talking on the phone to him. You will not even change the deadbold lock on your door because you would rather let him in again and again.

You may as well remarry him....just stop telling us how bad he is we KNOW HOW BAD HE IS.

Just remarry him and tell us how wonderful your love is....etc....etc...

DING,DING,DING,DING,DING,DING,DING!!!!!!!!!!!!


I JUST FIGURED THIS OUT! HAS ANYONE ELSE? HERE IS THE ANSWER.

GET THIS:

**SNL, LURKING ABOUT, SUFDB, AND FAITH4ME ARE ALL THE SAME PERSON!!!!!!**

~~~~ THE VERY SAME PERSON!~~~~

!!! AND HE OR SHE IS POSTING JUST TO GET US GOING !!!!!!!!

-Notice how the story goes on and on...

-Notice how it draws us in to try and help....

-Notice how it is dramatic "like a play"....

-Notice how it never ends.......

-Notice how it elicits our help...


IT IS ALL ONE PERSON!

YOU GUYS DO YOU SEE IT LIKE I SEE IT!

WHAT A PERFECT GAME.

WHAT A PERFECT VEHICAL TO ELICIT OUR EMPATHY!


$$$$$$---IT IS THE PLAN OF A MAD GENIUS!-$$$$$$

(and we are all playing into it daily...)

<small>[ January 25, 2004, 10:46 PM: Message edited by: baba2 ]</small>

No Baba, I think this BS is all too real unfortunately.

I don't believe it. If it is true, then it is total insanity!

F4M,

You know--

I guess the thing I have the most difficult time with is that you say you are in counseling---but it doesn't seem to be helping--your still stuck--

Maybe it's time you find another counselor??

And why do YOU continually to look to this man for your "SELF-IMAGE"??? It's YOUR'S NOT HIS!!!

Stop allowing Him to dicate what you can and can not think about yourself--and stop trying to control HIM!!

LET HIM GO!! FOR YOUR HEALTH AND SANITY!!

I am not SNL. I am Faith4me. I am a woman. SNL is who that person is.

I am a woman that was married to a man of 25 years. I am not surprised that you think of all of us being the same person. But my writing is not of SNL or SUDFD or whomever. I write more simply, not overbig wording. I am a simple person, I do engage in big wording when necessary, but I do not show arrogance that I have high intelligence. My personality, is compassion, love, love of God, love of my children, love my parent & (MIL), love of my animals. If you were to read back on any of SNL SUDFD, or whomever I haven't read where there is compassion towards the family or friends or pets. Most of the writings are of radical honesty per say, personality types, why be married, divorce and then see what happens, where the poster never loved the spouse, that it is posted that an affair happened and there was no sex, etc. etc. Do you see where there is compassion written in that posters posts. No!

I just needed to vent, cause what I found out this weekend was so upsetting. I didn't allow this man to use my credit card and social security for the rental car in Arizona when he was driving around his fat OW. I didn't allow this guy to use my SS# and my name for the telephone that I received a call from Saturday for the old overdue bill. This man did this without my okay, and I wouldn't of done it in the first place, cause we were separated at that time. I didn't allow this guy to use my credit card for gas for his vehicle. He feels whatever is around is his. These things he did on his own. I told you guys he is very intelligent, and convincing to others and it seems like I am always a few steps behind him. He is hard to beat in any way. And like I said, I am getting beaten to a pulp by this man, and he sits on his computer and is probably laughing his head off, or saying crap about me that is so mean and untruthful.

All I wanted to do is vent. Also, I am strapped for money by this man. I feed and heat and electricity and water 5 of us. He only does himself, and part of his mother, cause he lives with his mother. He doesn't buy food for 5, only himself. Cause his mother doesn't eat his food, and he is not suppose to eat her food. They both have their own refrigerator.

I feed all the animals and take care of all the animmals. He has been helping support the animals cause it is in the divorce decree. But once again I have to ask, from him for the money.

He is not in pain and misery, he has not suffered surgery and possible surgery to come. The first surgery was by his ballistic actions. Which he states that he is not responsible for the injury. MOre of his deny and attitude.

Just some information that I am Faith4me, a mother of 4 children (18-25), and petite woman, a compassionate woman, a woman that was treated poorly by her X and injured by her X. I am in my early 50's, going back to school for a bachelors degree. I attend a wonderful church and have a church family. Do you see where SNL or SUDFD talks anything about church or being a christian brothern of a church. I talk of having to try and find a Dr. for my other shoulder for surgery. Do you see any statements about SNL or SUDFD or whomever talking about having pain everyday, surgery on the shoulder, or upcoming surgery and difficulty in finding a Dr. because of X's default in paying medical bills. I haven't seen any of that.

The big part is time posting on the computer. My time is short, cause I am busy with school, Dr.s and sidejobs and etc.

WEll, I have to go to bed, Goodnight!

XH was here again, not by my asking him to be here. He came cause he walked in. More of his controlling behavior, and no respect for me. Those of you who do contact him, and e-mail him, read this and ask him why he doesn't show respect for his XW?

A little statement was said about the paperwork coming and I will have to sign a fraud statement. He said he is getting mad, when I brought this up, and then he went on and on. I have stated before, that he goes ballistic, and then he said right in front of my oldest daughter and youngest son in the living room. If I get go to the police, he will have nothing to do with me the rest of his life, and the kids won't either. I just said, more threats, and you know I thought about it later, and this man is afraid of something. I should of stated to him in front of the kids, if you are so sure you are innocent, there should be nothing that you are afraid of me finding, or someone else finding. For one to go to this extreme that he will use the kids against me, shows that he is guilty of something.

This is what I have had to deal with most of my marriage. He would threaten me, which is verbal abuse, and mental abuse. I did say this in front of the kids. To show them that their dad, is a coniving idiot. And hopefully, that they can see for themselves that dad could possibly be doing fraud, and dad doesn't want them to find out.

See dad, wants to keep this pretty picture of dad buys them things, take them to the movies, takes them out to dinner, takes them on vacations. But I am the one who is providing them with a home, roof over their heads, food, animals to play with, security of their own things.

This made me really think today after he left. I did make him a homemade bean buritto, chicken cilantro sausage (very tasty and low fat), 3 cheese, diced tomato, yogurt, tomato wrap, without sauteed onions dish for him. He doesn't like onions. Cause he has been working hard doing all the furnace calls coming in. I know how much he is making daily, and it is really high. I did the books for over 20 years.

But after he left, I once again thought and thought. He went into how I took more money at the divorce decree. Yeah, and I should of took more, cause I worked for him for FREE. I just said, you are making $$ daily, so you should not complain. He is making big really big bucks these past few weeks. And I thought, this man is scared, scared that I am going to find something that he doesn't want me to find. And then the kids would know that dad is a decietful liar.

I asked him, what else is there out there. He said nothing, I said then why did I get a call from this lady, and she said she has talked to you several times and you hung up on her at his house. He first couldn't be truthful and say that he hung up. First he said he never talked to her, and then I said, she has it documented, and might have it recorded as well. Then he said, he only talked to her once. But she said it was more than that. See, here is another classic case of him, that when he is caught he tries to weasle himself out of a bind. But he did admit that he did talk to her and hung up. Cause the lady said he was very rude to her on the phone and hung up.

This is what I am having to deal with on a daily weekly basis. I don't know who this man is anymore, and I can't trust anything he says anymore. Cause once again, he was caught in a lie, and he would of lied over and over, until I came out with the information I said, and then he backs off. Why does a person do this? What is he trying to gain? I don't understand a man like this. I don't understand his value, his morals, his consistent lieing.

So for those of you who do e-mail him privately, maybe you could ask him why, he isn't being radically honest?

Well, off to bed, Going to Family Indepenent Agency to see if I can get more food stamps, and get the medcaid situated. I have all the documentations I need, and can sit and deal with the social worker that I don't really trust her words now. See you tomorrow. Goodnight all.

blah, blah, blah,

same crap, another different post. . .

blah, blah, blah. . .

when are you going to stand up on your own two feet and get some help. . .

I tell you that Faith4ME is actually SUFDB, SNL, AND LURKINGABOUT.

There is no one on this earth who would actually "let" her abuser in, make him his favorite burrito, low fat and no onions to boot!, as he frauds her, using her and her credit cards and ripping her off in several other ways!

I hate to say this but NOONE is really that stupid or that weak!

After a man verbally, physically, sexually, and financially abuses you, and has affairs in front of your nose, you do not "LET HIM IN YOUR HOME" AND MAKE HIM HIS FAVORITE BURRITO!!!!

So, this is all a big game. Perhaps this "person" has two sides to their personality. Faith4ME is the "nice, victim Christianappearing side" and SNL, SUFDB, and LA are all the evil side.

See, it is all one big huge drama allowing this "person" to express both sides of their personality and getting our sympathy.

It is like a person who flashes in public in order to get attention.

Read carefully and you can see what I mean....

<small>[ January 27, 2004, 02:26 AM: Message edited by: baba2 ]</small>