Well its been 12 years and it has come down to the last weened together before the final date. In about 5 days we will be Divorced. I am really afraid of starting over, trying to learn to live alone again, but with 3 children. I am not use to living a new way, but it has been like living alone with the 3 boys, my wife would work late and come home late, so it was just a way for her to find a new love. That is where she it tonight, with her new love out and I am home again with the children. So I guess with her not around, I have to except this is going to be final. I wonder if there is anyone else out there that is in a boat kind of like me. I work everyday, home on the weekends, always with the children and every weekend all summer for the past 3 1/2 years. I have not talked to anyone really how I feel. Not even my family. My children come 1st in life and that is always how I felt. I wonder if people really rear this stuff, or just vent and just post it hoping someone might read all this dribble. SO I guess I will vent my opinion and go on as always. I guess when you work so hard at a life together and make something work, then watch it slowly go from top of the world to beyond poverity level. I am slowly getting out of the welfar relm, I was once worth over a million dollars on paper, now I am lucky to find food in the frig. I only eat 1 meal a day, so I can have 3 meals for each of my children. I guess the best thing I can do is keep on moving forwards, it seams to be working when I keep busy, but inside I am very frightened, mainly for my family. I want them to have both parents, not a "Ours and them" thing. This is not the value in life I grew up with. THose numbers are for records, and soon I will be just another number, divorced for the 1st time. Wife is going on 2nd, and probebly getting re-married this summer. So in about a year or 2 she will have her 3rd divorce. What a life to teach our children. Ok that is enough venting. Thank you, to whom ever is reading this.

Dear Pieruixmaster:

Weekends are a bit slow, so don't think nobody is reading or caring. I kind of know how you feel, though I'm not as sure about the impending divorce as you are.

Live for your children. Always put them first. Let your wife go - as horribly difficult as it may be. Make sure your three children always feel your love for them and make them as secure as you can. You can't stop your wife from breaking up your family. She will soon come to regret it IMO.

God bless.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by pieruixmaster:
<strong> Well its been 12 years and it has come down to the last weened together before the final date. In about 5 days we will be Divorced. I am really afraid of starting over, trying to learn to live alone again, but with 3 children. I am not use to living a new way, but it has been like living alone with the 3 boys, my wife would work late and come home late, so it was just a way for her to find a new love. That is where she it tonight, with her new love out and I am home again with the children. So I guess with her not around, I have to except this is going to be final. I wonder if there is anyone else out there that is in a boat kind of like me. I work everyday, home on the weekends, always with the children and every weekend all summer for the past 3 1/2 years. I have not talked to anyone really how I feel. Not even my family. My children come 1st in life and that is always how I felt. I wonder if people really rear this stuff, or just vent and just post it hoping someone might read all this dribble. SO I guess I will vent my opinion and go on as always. I guess when you work so hard at a life together and make something work, then watch it slowly go from top of the world to beyond poverity level. I am slowly getting out of the welfar relm, I was once worth over a million dollars on paper, now I am lucky to find food in the frig. I only eat 1 meal a day, so I can have 3 meals for each of my children. I guess the best thing I can do is keep on moving forwards, it seams to be working when I keep busy, but inside I am very frightened, mainly for my family. I want them to have both parents, not a "Ours and them" thing. This is not the value in life I grew up with. THose numbers are for records, and soon I will be just another number, divorced for the 1st time. Wife is going on 2nd, and probebly getting re-married this summer. So in about a year or 2 she will have her 3rd divorce. What a life to teach our children. Ok that is enough venting. Thank you, to whom ever is reading this. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Yes, my position is very different. She has been working almost every day for the past 3 years, we are still under the same roof, but we have not had any physical contact for more them 2 years. My children are very smart. All 3 are in the top 3 percent in the nation. Both my wife and I are degreed and do verious things. I am a professional musician, an electronics engineers, a computer engineer, she in a graphics artist, phycologist, clothes designer, so much we do, but 1 thing we never did together from the start was to plan a future. I ran my company for 25 years and pulled in all the money. I had time for my children, but she spent most of it and just went her way on all matters. I just let her, but that is history. Yes I understan children are 1st, I have a very high standard of morals. She is an only child, understanding a bond between sibblinings are just part of a growing life that will always be there. I have that with my children. It is just, 1 thing I have to understand. The "Contract" of marrage. "For better of worst". Yes marages have problems, but you stick them out and fight for the family, you do not stray out of the relm and find some "SOD" to help you through it, you talk it out and do it together as a family unit. But I guess, when your wife has patterened this after her 1st marrage failor, this was just the same way she ended her 1st marrage. I was very leary from the 1st, but I thought is would have been different. I was worng. 12 years later worng. Well enough, it is morning, I have children to attend with and she is sleeping some where else because she had a party to go to last night with here boyfriend. I just keep on explaining this to the children about why Momma is not home from work yet. This is what I have been dealing with for 3 years. Thanks for the relay. Sorry about the spelling, Good day.

pie,
I am/was somewhat in your situation. Be happy that you do have the children. You and I are some of the very few men that get to see ours kids everyday!

When my x first left she was only seeing the kids once a week and every other weekend. After she married the om it was a little more frequent. Now that she is divorced form om she is taking them 50% of the time. And I HATE it when they are gone.

Use your education to get your feet back on the ground. Be an good example to your children that when the hard times hit you can get throught it.

I almost lost my job after the divorce. I got in a rut, didn't feel like my job ment anything. My bosses didn't look at it that way. Fortunetly I had a long and good work history with my boss and after being put on probation, I was able to save my job and get my head turned around.

While I am not at the top of the production list, I am now firmly in the middle. I could do more like my counterparts, but I want to be home for my kids when they get there and to be able to go to all of their events.

You can do this too. But you have to make the decision to do it. Take one day at a a time.

Hang in!

Bob

Thank you very much for your input. I do understand the values of life and all about my childrens needs. Soon it will all change for thier world as they know it. That is my biggest fear. I have been through more hell then you can imagine. They are just young and will soon understand the truth. Us adults know the truth, well some of us. My "wife" is a dreamer, she was always tring to come up with quick ideas how to get rich, well I do not believe in a "get rich" theme. I worked very hard in life, and I saw every thing go within 3 years. SO I know the value of a dollar.

Things will change, but for the children they think it will be fun, they will be in a strange place, see thier mother sleep with another man, well in the same bed. That bothers me, but I have to do what I feel will make me start over.

I have built an empire from nothing, I am in the process of doing it again. I have been on welfare for 3 years, dirt poooor. I mean very poor. The kids always had the best from both of us, no matter how much we had to fight to get it. The childrens school was nice enough last years to help buy the boys presents, and food. That really helped.

I am taking back what I once had, I just wish the children could have both parents, I know it will never be the same, I am not in love with my wife, I really did not understand that concept. I had nothing better to do, so I got married when I was 36. I am now 48 and soon to be single once again, but this time I have 3 lives that depend on me. Oh well time will tell.

I do love 3 things in life, my 3 sons. Cooking and playing my guitar for them is the best of feelings. I wish more people could hold that next to thier heart.

Thanks Bob, you have a great day.

I hope others can respond soon. I really do not talk to people about such matters. I am so private, only my photos know the truth.

Michael,
I am the same age as you. How old are your kids???

I have been blessed, my kids haven't shown any signs of damage from the divorce.

Bob