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#764475 01/27/04 09:24 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 124
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 124
Had to cave in today and make that call to the town authority regarding getting child support from my wife. We have been living apart since February 1, 2003 and divorced since 14 April 2003. For the large majority of this time (95%), my children have been at my address. For the balance of 2003, I waited in hope that she might change her mind, leave her lover, and come back home, but it never happened. All during this time, I have basically paid everything. But now you could say that I have thrown in the towel, admitted that she is not coming back, and realized that I should not be 100% financially responsible for my children. What`s fair is fair!

Some sites that I frequent though, regarding marriage standing, state that I should never ask her for anything; that I should just stand and wait. I have been at this crossroads for so long, but finally I felt that I had to take this action. I am feeling guilt from this though in that I have always felt I should be the provider. The fact is that she earns as much or even better than me at this time.

Have any men out there been faced with a similar decision? It hurts so very much.

Standing in Finland

#764476 01/27/04 09:56 AM
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 16
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 16
Sorry about your situation. I am standing for my marriage as well, BUT child support is about just that - the children. They need a financially and emotionally stable father. I have read your posts and believe the latter. However, you NEED help to take care of those precious children. Your wife has an obligation to help support the children. Financially and physically (visitation). You may not have to go for it all, but she should be helping support the kids. Voluntarily or involuntary. Have you discussed it with her? Determine what you require to raise the children. Then you should determine her portion and yours. If it is more than you require, then maybe you can lower it to what you need. This way it doesnt seem to be vengeful. Rember its about the kids well-being. If she takes this the wrong way, then SHE has the problem, not you.

Praying for you.

Healed

#764477 01/28/04 01:58 AM
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 89
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You are divorced, she owes you cs. Contact the court and order it up. You may be required to show you have your chilren 95 percent of the time.

My x makes good money too. She has 5 percent more custody than me so I pay very very little cs.


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