I am divorced w/ 2 children. I coach a basketball team and after the season the team wanted to get pizza. Everyone went and the only other parents that went were my x and her bf. So we are the three adults, (not thrilled with it but rolled with it.)

Of the ten girls on the team only three were not children of a divorce. One of the kids was comenting about how her dad has never seen her play basketball. Then she told my daugthers how lucky they were to have 3 of their 4 parents eating with them. The other kids chimed in on how great that was.

Do chilren see bf's and gf's as parents?

My girls do lots of stuf with my gf. They bake, go to the mall, grocery shop, go to lunch and so on. My girls can not get enough of her. I am also semi-engauged, she has a temporary ring and we do not have a date set, just a promise at this time. I would never have them refer to her as mom though.

I know my x's bf is around a lot. I don't know if my girls do anything with him solo or not. My x has them refer to him as pop. I don't think this is the greatest idea but hey, we don't get along. That is why we are divorced.

Any thoughts on this subject in general?

My story in short:

1. remarried to woman with one child
2. My 2 kids love my wife
3. EX has bf....whom I have never met
4. My wife and I at all kids events
5. My EXs bf never attends any of kids events
6. My wifes EX is remarried and he doesnt attend
his sons events
7. wifes EXs...wife attends her stepsons events
8. We all sit together and talk during events.


Whew!.....there is more to it, but you get the drift......WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF DIVORCE!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Do any of the kids refer to non-parents as mom or dad?

Technically you are remarried so she is a step-mom. I'm only two years into this and some stuff is kinda weird to me still. Everyone told me that she would really calm down by now. Everyone that knows us really can not believe that she still can not stand me.

I dont think any child should call a non parent....b/f or g/f mom or dad. That is way too confusing for a child.....what if there is a break up??

I tried to keep my social life separate from my kids life, but have found that was virtually impossible.

Part of the problem is of my own making, the woman I am involved with lives 70 miles away. So we only get together the weekends that we don't have the kids. However because of uncooperative spouses, not picking up on time or dropping off early, we met each other's kids pretty soon into our relationship.

When the kids have sporting or other events on our weekends together, we either go together or don't get together until after the event.

Her x misses a lot of the kids stuff, but has been doing better. His new w had been coming but has stopped over the past year. She had nothing to do with the marriage breakup.

The weird thing is that they would come and always stand near us and the wife would chat me up like we were old friends.

My g/f did have some problems last year with the wife because she was trying to be the mom. That is pretty much when the wife stopped attending things.

When x and I first separated, she would attend events alone. I think I may have brought g/f to an event first and then x started bringing om/h.

Since x's divorce from om/h, she has comes alone, usually sitting by herself or with 1-2 other people she may know. She makes no effort to get to know other parents( never did for that matter!).

Because of her work schedule she misses most of the kids after school or early evening things. I can't figure out why she doesn't schedule those days off, but she makes no effort. She only attends home games and comes right at game time and leaves right after the end. I think half the time my d doesn't know if she is there or not(its a huge gym with large crowds). My s always seems to find his mom.

I schedule all my work around the kids schedule and haven't missed anything unless its beyond my control. In fact today I had my end of year review and my boss says he knows I can do more, but understands and my production meets goal so there is no problem. He says he expects me to make up for lost time when the kids are gone though!

The kids haven't been around each other more than a day or two. They are very different in their likes. I think my kids are more mature(maybe my own prejudice) than hers and she babies them more than I do mine(again, probably my own prejudice, afterall a woman broke up with me because of the way I treated my kids.)

My son really likes my g/f and hasn't figured out why we only get together when he isn't around. For Xmas, g/f got my d some type of purse and my d thought it was so cool that she called her and thanked her without any prodding from me!

G/f's kids really like me as I show interest in them and what they are doing. I stay out of the parenting role as I don't feel that is my place, although I did "smack them both upside the head" because the forgot their mother's birthday after me reminding them twice. Their father won't buy her anything from them and they have to use their own money which they don't have because he doesn't pay child support.

As for marriage, we have talked about waiting till the kids are gone. Neither of us want to drag our kidsout of their schools and away from their friends and basically force them into a family setting. I say force because they do not know each other.

We had talked about getting the kids together more often, but haven't been able to figure out how without forcing a situation. I did ask g/f and her kids to go on vacation with us last summer, but g/f said she couldn't afford it.

G/f's kids are each a year younger than mine.

So all we have is status quo. I don't see any immediate changes that can be made to our situation.

I kept things completely separate from my kids until I met someone that I was going to be with for a long term realationship. That took almost two years.

My x introduced my kids to her bf 3 days after the divorce.

How about after the game is over. My x will sweep those kids out of there so fast I don't always get to say goodbye. That's ok, she is only hurting herself.