Wow...awesome advice. Thanks folks. Awesome idea about creditors and the divorce decree. Shall I just keep an extra copy in the glovebox? Whip it out at will? Ha ha.
Will do that when I get a moment to breathe tomorrow.
And GG thanks. I am trying to not buy his crapola. It is just that. Right now today I am feeling rather tired...and get this...doc thinks son may have mononucleosis...With Jethro and son ran fever again last night but no more strepthroat. Geez. The kissin' disease. All I need now <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> just kidding. Haven't done that yet. Well, not more than three times. No more than five. lol~Can't remember exactly but still nothing big to write home to momma about if you get it...
And about the Plan A dilemma. I would like to reiterate that I think it's wise to never admit to your stbx either verbally, email, or written any personal liability that could come back to bite you in a trial or used against you in any mediation or negotiation or deposition.
Alot of us have taken the "work on me" and "admit my faults" too far. Sure, we want to improve things and need to do that. I am saying to be wise. After all, my x found out that last year, a year and a half ago I was on anti depressant (lexapro and worked great...didn't care about anything more than my son) and tried to use it against me...nevermind the fact the reason I was on it was because of him and the stupid actions he had.
It's important if you find yourself here in the divorced boards to remember WS and their logic. It's wierd and foggy. I am not talking about the spouse who files out of having no other choice or option. I'm talking about the ones who lie at will and are covertly living double lives and living less than decently. If you can't trust them with a vow,then you for sure couldn't trust them if you had to do business with them. They lie and will cover up alot of things. When it comes to divorces, they are all about themselves. Unless they suddenly get an attack of the "guilties" where their conscience starts making them sick, then don't expect a decent settlement. I know firsthand.
Just be wise. And it is soooo difficult when you're in the situation presently. You can't seem to think your way outta a paper bag. They will try to make you think with your emotions not with your head. That's why I posted here alot. We will try to let you see through alot of this stuff. I kept trying to work on me, for over a year, do the plan A stuff. He made me feel and basically "used" the fact I was in plan A to make me feel that the success of our reconciliation depended completely upon me. Wrongo. It does not. When I finally depleted the LB, I saw through what he had done...He'd drained me enough physically and emotionally until HE FOUND JUST ENOUGH TO COUNTER EVEN ONE PERCENT OF MY ACCUSATIONS. That's his game and was all along. If I was under such dire pressure for long enough, then he'd find something wrong or force something to happen to me thus using that against me.
I say do an impeccable plan A. Don't admit to the downfall of marriage being anything you did, but say you could improve on this or that. Use words wisely. And also work on you but don't feel that it totally hinges on your being 100 percent. They do have a responsibility as well. And set a reasonable time limit. I stayed in plan A far too long. I felt if I couldn't accomplish the recovery of my m, then I was a failure and I think that's why I stayed too long in A. Switch to an impeccable plan B at end of that time limit when you LB is almost gone and when you see absolutely nothing. Or if LB is almost gone and they're still waffling out there.
These principles do work, but I think you must be wise here. Seek the help of the experts in A/B for advice (redhat and Orchid give great advice on that).
Just my two cents as I am still hoping somebody here has a recovery and gets back from the edge of divorce. And for those who don't, some idea of how to get through it and what NOT to do if you find yourself stuck in the crap that is a divorce.
Feeling pretty good. Am tired though and praying it's not mono. Am going to go and try to workout in a bit. Not sure if I have a date for VDay and am a bit sad as it's a trigger for me...found out I was preggo on Vday six years ago. And as it would seem it's the week before their "shotgun wedding celebration dinner". Makes me wanna vomit.
Attorney hard at work. There's alot of verbal back and forth nastiness in emails between attorney and Jethro. Jethro tries to keep me sucked in and is trying the "don't listen to your attorney thing...I will help you" stuff. I don't trust him at all. He needs the 11 grand as he's married to one of ATL's finest and biggest (belly included) golddiggers. I need my good credit restored.
Ya know. It's bad when you attempt to watch a lifetime channel movie and realize your marriage was WORSE at the end than the darn movie for television was. That freaked me out. I swear I totally hate whenever I tell anybody about even one tenth of what happened to me hear them gasp or say how it couldn't be that bad. I just basically shut up now. Nobody would ever believe if they met me that anything like this would happen. I'm not exactly the poster child for spousal abuse or adultery. But then again, who looks like a spousal abuser or adulterer? My xh sure doesn't. Handsome, smooth, and suave. Says all the right things.
I hope everybody is doing ok getting through the VDay hump on saturday. No worries. Remember, we're about PUTTING OUR HEARTS BACK TOGETHER THIS YEAR. I say give a gift to ourselves.
Who wants to join me in a SUSHI AND CHOCOLATE FEAST ON SATURDAY? Not sure if I even want to commit to a date as I am having fun juggling now. Don't want one of them to think it's getting serious or anything. Plus, who would want sushi and chocolate anyway?
