Lost___________________________________________
Sometimes I think H is purposely not willing to take another chance on me because somewhere inside he knows he doesn't truly love me
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i doubt it. it may be impossible for a woman to truly feel the feeling of a man. it goes both ways. i wish i could tell you what to do but i can tell you don't stop making love to him.<p>Lost_____________________________________
Do you want your wife in your life?
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Yes,i feel i am fighting to keep her. my methods may not be the greatest.
h

HOL, I always wondered if I'd feel worse if it was just one or two and he really loved them, than many and he didn't. What do you think? I really don't now.<p>I don't really think it's about the numbers, though. For me (and I'm going to take the leap here) or for you either. They matter, and they matter a lot, but they matter because of the lies and deceit around them, not just because of a number. <p>The biggest thing for me now is just that my H has told me so many untruths. He has been so secretive and deceitful, and I really can’t take that. I have to be able to trust him, and I can’t now. That’s really the bottom line. I can’t trust what he says and what he tells me. Pretty much about anything. There were just too many times when I thought the revelatations were over, and then there was "one more". That’s why I feel the need for him to tell me things that happened and talk a lot about how he feels, so I can judge for myself whether or not I can trust him. When he is secretive, he makes it so much worse.<p>I don't take the approach that you do with your wife. I have never called my husband any names or even yelled at him. I try really hard not to let him get hurt. But then, my husband almost always tries not to let me get hurt, either. That's part of the reason he's lied to me so much. But of course you see, it's that lying that has made me unable to trust him.

Pretty Garnet,
do you mean really loved them then or if she still really loved them?
My wife has told me that she has never slept with a man she didn't love so it's both for me.
is that what you mean?
i don't believe in secrets from your h or w. i am an open book.
h<p>[ February 18, 2002: Message edited by: h o l ]</p>

Really loved them then, not now. (I doubt your wife knows what love is if she thinks she loved that many people. Real love takes time to develop.) I don't know if it's worse to love them than to not love them. I really don't.<p>I don't believe in secrets, and my husband says he doesn't believe in secrets, but he still has them, even if he pretends he doesn't.

what kind of secrets are you talking about?<p> she may not have known what love is then but she does now. no i don't think it would have been worse had she really loved one or two i think that would have been very normal.what i hate is how she gave her self so easily to so many. that to me is very degrading,she didn't put much value on herself.

h<p>[ February 19, 2002: Message edited by: h o l ]<p>[ February 19, 2002: Message edited by: h o l ]</p>

Well we're back at it again aren't we Liar2? I can not let myself get close to someone i don't trust or respect. She is saying how we had similar pasts but i say you don't start saying that crap after 12 years, that should have been said before we married when i asked her about her past and told her about mine. A couple of posts ago I asked her to respond to a question asked about how she treated me before the discovery of her sorted past, notice she did not reply.
h

Anna2000_____________________________________<p>So what do you suggest. All women who have had more than hmmm let's say 3 partners don't have children, your life is worthless...crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment
______________________________________________<p>your pushing it aren't you?is there no diffence between 3 and 40+? You don't have to crawl in a hole and die but you also should not just fabricate a whole new personality. If it's no big deal why lie about it?
h

HI Hol,
What is the action plan for your marriage?
Have you considered counseling? Perhaps with the harleys?
cl