I'm 41. Been married 20 1/2 years. Something was always a little off; I couldn't quite figure it out. As a 23 year old newlywed, he didn't want sex. Once a week, if that. I blamed myself-ugly, unattractive me. He couldn't be gay? could he? Gay men don't pursue women, do they? Pursue them with a vengeance? Oh, boy was I wrong. The last year has been one homosexual affair after the other. <p>Has anyone else had this experience? The literature says marriages can survive. I need to hear from real people; not literature. I'm a born-again Christian. I do not believe that God created anyone Gay- He couldn't condemn the behavior in His Word if He did. I won't debate the why's or the how's or biology of homosexuality. I'm not an expert; just a wife who's hurting terribly. <p>Any survivors out there?

I have many friends and acquaintances who are gay. I also know a few who married and even had children. <p>If you are deeply against the idea of homosexuality, you will never sort your problems out with your husband. You need to approach the whole concept of homosexuality with an open mind. Reasearch the topic from a medical and sociological standpoint. Reading leaflets on why homosexuality is bad from your local church won't help you become enlightened on this subject.<p>I don't believe that your husband mislead you on purpose. There are countless examples of people who "discovered" their problem late in life. You yourself say you felt something wasn't right from the beginning. <p>I can imagine that you're in terrible pain about this, but at some level, you must be feeling a sense of relief that your "feelings" about something being "not quite right" have been explained. Knowledge is power and the more you find out about homosexuality, the more empowered you will be to deal with this blow! Good luck!