Hi, I'm newly divorced (1 week), and need an opinion on kid stuff.

I picked up my 8 year old at school yesterday, and she got REALLY upset that she didn't have 3 brownies that her mother gave her. I assumed that she just wanted to eat the brownies, but when talking to my mother, she suggested that maybe one of the brownies was for me. I asked my daughter if that was the case, and she said yes.

So is my new XW putting the kids in the middle of all of this? Did my daughter see the ex giving me a brownie as some kind of peace offering, and when it came up missing she felt responsible for not getting her parents back together? Good grief, how could a mother do that kind of thing to her child. It horrifies me how my daughter must feel now, thinking that she messed things up. Could that be the case?

Opinions and thoughts about how to deal with this?

Don't read too much into things.
It could have been a mistake.
Talk to your daughter and acknowledge her feelings.
ie. "Thank you for thinking to bring me a brownie, your thought is very important to me."
You'll come across many issues now and won't know how to address them. There are some great books out there to help answer questions.

Don't assume negativity from your X, just treat your children the best you can without placing them in the middle. Let them know that both parents love them, and they did not cause the D, nor could they have prevented it.

It was an adult decision that affected them and it is your job to minimize the damage to them.

Newly,
Thanks for the advice - I guess my tendancy is to think the best of people, but this whole D thing has made me think the worst of her...

Looking at your sig, it sounds so much like me:
Married since 1991. I didn't realize (or denied) how bad the M was.
XW avoided conflict almost completely (except in huge blow-ups)
however, we separated 9/03, she filed 10/03, D 2/04
and we have 2 daughters, 5 and 8!

What about this narcissistic personality disorder stuff?