I am searching for some help in dealing with my unemployed husband! It's been nearly 8 months since he lost his job and while his job search was never as "earnest" as I thought it should be, a couple months ago, he really slowed down the search. I'm not sure what he does all day, but I suspect that playing games on the computer is one of them, since that's all he seems to do at night to 1 or 2 in the morning)! Now, I'll admit that I am by nature a more driven person, his lack of action is really getting to me emotionally (not to mention financially). We're wanting to start a family, and my clock is ticking, but I don't feel like trying until we're secure. I try not to say stuff to him, and I know that depression on his part is somewhere in this, but I'm curious if anyone else out there has any insight on this! Sorry to be so long, but I could probably write a novel on my feelings on this subject! Thanks.

As a game developer and Husband who played ALOT of online games over the past 5 years I can tell ya...He probably is playin online MOST of the time you are not there. The thing to do is divert his attention, find something that will hold his attention for a week. It will take at least a week for him to realize there is RL out there.
My wife started by taking me out to eat and going out with friends with her. I soon found I was missing out on RL....I was glad she did.

To be honest, the online thing isn't the thing that bugs me the most. It's the fact that he obviously doesn't have his priorities in the order that reflects the type of husband he should be. Says it's not worth it for him to get any job that pays under $6.00/hr (!!!) since that's what his unemployment pays. I'm 38 and we talked of starting a family, but since we're only renting a house now, and he has no job, I'm definitely not inclined to try to get pregnant. I only have so much time left on this clock, yet he is completely disregarding that fact. I admit my anger at the situation builds up inside and when I do try to talk about the situation, he becomes completely defensive and ends up threatening to leave! Otherwise,he is completely devoted to me and goes way out of his way to make me happy. Everyway but one -- show his love and commitment by getting a job. I'm rambling, I know, but so frustrated ....

Employment builds self esteem, Self esteem builds confidence, Self confidence gets him a job paying 15 dollars an hour. You are very right his lack of vision to see how getting a job will help your marriage in more ways then one is very bad. Sounds like he is going thru some form of depression. Im 37 and have been thru many jobs and firings, but when i got depressed I got meds(for a very short time) got my confidence back and boom!..jobs were offering me more money.
My marriage is less stressful.
My wallet is much fatter.