Background: married 10 years; 1st child july 03; WH moved out aug. 03; moved home sept. 03 - EA supposly stopped; continued EA until now; I went to work last Thursday - he moved out (without telling me); he called Sunday to check on baby. Said he has saw a lawyer to draw up papers.

So my question is what do I ask for. Do I need to wait to get a lawyer or go get one? What do I say to the lawyer? What do I ask for?

This is all very new to me. Please send some advice.
j

I rarely if ever offer advice, but I see that no one else has offered up any suggestions so far, so you'll have to settle for me (& I am no expert). LOL

I guess the first question to ask yourself is whether or not you are ready for this, whether or not this is what you want. Is it?

If your WH is intent on the divorce & you feel you have no other option, then YES, see an attorney.

One that would represent YOU. Many times, the first consultation is free. Lawyers know the divorce laws inside & out & if they represent you, they will know how to protect you.

Ideally, an uncontested divorce is the best option as far as cost/wait time, but both parties are not truly protected.

If it does come down to divorce with you two, I say protect yourself & get whatever you can out of it. Don't let yourself feel guilty about it either, you didn't want this, you didn't ask for this. But if this is what it comes to, you want to protect yourself & the well being of your baby.

I told my WH that what my daughter & I deserved was a real man that would stay at home & save his family, but since we couldn't get that, we'd take the $546/month!! *giggle*

I hate to see anyone go through this & I hope with you it hasn't. But IF it has, take care of you, okay?

Hope I helped. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

If your spouse has filed, then you should consult a lawyer to protect yourself and your child. I have recommended these sites before to others, but here are the links for you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Divorce Source
Divorce Info
Divorce Net
These sites have state-specific info which you will need. Reading up first will help you understand what the lawyer says and also help cut down on time the lawyer has to spend explaining things to you.

Remember, just because you consult a lawyer does NOT mean you are wanting a divorce. It means you're being smart and trying to get informed so you aren't blind-sided by whatever your H might do. You have a child to think of too, so that makes it even more important to know everything you can about the situation you're in.

Post here and keep us updated.

I would seek a lawyer, for a consultation. Your husband is living in adultery, and he will get burned. My XH got burned, and he won't admit it, but he was burned like many wayward men.

You go for whatever you can get hon. You have a new baby, and this life is now for you and your baby, which is his child. Go for everything, and get it. You deserve it, with the treatment that he has laid on the two of you.

Don't feel guilty, many of us did, I did, but not now. I should of gone for more. But I was naive, and still thinking of my h as a h, and not as a xh. He wasn't looking out for me, and I find this true. I thought he was, but he wasn't. Stupid mind of mine. So just look out for you and your new baby, and fight for your rights.

These men are so screwed in the head. They think the grass is greener on the other side. They will find out that what they had was the wondeful person that loved them. And not the bimbo they are living with. My XH I feel knows inside that he was taken for a big ride with the fat bimbo he had. And his fat bimbo tore me apart with manipulation.

Hon, you are a wondeful mother, and you and your child deserve better than this. Good luck.