Sent email over 3 weeks ago to x, concerning money that he owes to me. Got a real quick one line response, "I am busy" e mailed back that I understood, but please get to it as soon as possible. Nothing nada, zilch!!!

Emailed again when I found out about becoming a grandma, something short about "how's it feel to be a grandpa!" Again nothing zilch, nada!

Kids got package in mail from dad for valentines, nothing there for son, e mailed that son was crushed, zilch, nada, nothing.

So next morning I re-sent orignial e mail and said that his wife's name should not appear on cards that are titled "daughter or son" that they are not her daughter or son and that I would appreciate it if he would have enough respect for me for this not to happen. Again zilch, nothing, nada.

I am a little concerned as to why he's not answering any of these e mails, is he thinking to take me back to court. Said right before christmas that he can't afford what he is paying me in alimony and support, and yada, yada!! He can take me to court but he will not get far already checked this out for myself, it was uncontested. They may lower child support, with OD being married, but x signed a notarized statement that he would pay the same amount til youngest graduates HS. So probably wouldn't get far on that one either.

Thought about sending an e mail this morning with subject line being: "Thanks honey for the card it was so nice of you to think of me!" Figured if I didn't get his attention I would get hers, but am not going to (I promise)!! I guess I don't like being ignored! I had legitimate business with him when this started, I need to know how it is he plans on catching up with what he owes. It's not child support!! So I can't go after him for it, I just have to wait! I was nice enough to let it ride in the first place, my mistake!

So do I re address e mail again or what? Your thoughts please!!!!

Hey guess what? It was another holiday/day off and I painted yet another room in my house!!! Soon there will be no white walls left!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

For money owed you, the only way that you can get action is to go to court. I started the process, and stated the facts to my X, and now he is worried that someone will come after him. He wasn't worried 2 months ago. But we went to court once already, and the judge was very unhappy with the X, and asked me how I felt, and I said, I have called and nobody seems to care. I said the system stinks, and the one that gets hurt is the betrayed spouse and the kids.

I see, only one way to get what he owes, is going to court. As far as e-mail. I wouldn't e-mail again. It is obvious that he is ignoring your e-mails. So why put yourself in a tizzy. Seems you are losing control cause he doesn't want to respond. He doesn't have to respond. And many wayward spouses won't respond, cause they don't want to. So, forget the e-mails. If you want action, go to the courts and get action placed.

This is tough, after being married to the man for many years. I know, I rarely e-mail my X, cause (1) I don't want to, and (2) I don't want a response. I am living my life, trying to move on, and he doesn't care what I am doing, so therefore, he is excluded from my doings. Simple as that. When he said to me that he didn't love me and only loved the other woman, and never loved me, that was the key that he was done. And he has never changed his words.

Honey, you seem to be wanting him to return, but he is not returning. Only causing hardship, and anger in your behavioral pattern. Leave him be, let him continue on his adulterous pattern, and you live a good life with GOD. Get counseling for yourself, and get on anti-depressants. I am on anti-depressants, and will continue on them for about another year.

Good luck.

Well I admit I made a bad choice in sending the e mail. I was hurting for one of my children, I was bored and I was lonely, so thought I'd push some buttons.

I admit I was wrong, was wrong in posting here, can't get support for something that was wrong!

If given the chance I will apologise to x, but will not seek him out to do so!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My X also ignored most of my emails, which was really difficult for me as he was overseas at the time. I realised that I couldn't MAKE him reply to anything and had to let that go.

However, on matters of money...well that is different. Any big issues like that, and I would not let him ignore me. To get a response though, I had to threaten to tkae him to court if he would do nothing off his own bat. Also threatened to let his parents know how he wasn't sending money too...THAT really got him moving.

Love and light,

Jacky

I was given the opportunity to apologise to x for saying not to have his wifes name on cards to kids, said that I was hurt that I knew that he had gotten something from kids for valentines and I received nothing.

Said that her name could appear anywhere I really did not care.

But did wish that he could respond a little sooner to e mails and that maybe there wouldn't be the tension that there is between us.

I feel better for being able to apologise. And I guess that is good!!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Daybreak--

On Money matters if you have to--get the courts involved--

As far as your allowing HIM to ignore YOUR e-mail
to Him--You don't have ANY control over that--
He can ignore those as long as he so chooses---

But if you get the court's involved--that He can't ignore lest he go to jail--

And as far as his signing a notorized letter--that should hold up in court--as it's a legally binding document--

And the way I look at gift's is my recieving anything from anyone on Valentine's shouldn't be something I "expect" even when dating or marriage
unless It's talked about in advance and let the other person know this is something I EXPECT from them as a way I feel loved and appreciated--

But any gift--be it for a birthday, Anniversary, Christmas, or whatever--is just that--a gift--
a true gift is not given out of expectations--but out of love--because they WANT to do it--not because they HAVE to give--

TR,

Very true a gift is a gift!!!! I've learned to accept the fact that my kids don't do it often so when they do it is special.

I was hurt as I am always the one that is here, and there has been a lot of heres this year and he is the one they think to send something to. I am sure that that would hurt you to!! Sometimes in anger we do things or say things that we wouldn't normally say or do!!!

Yes again you are right he can ignore the e mail for as long as it is he wants, however I can be upset by that rude behavior, he was not like this in the past. He is being pulled very hard to behave in the way that he is. I guess the question I was raising is do I e mail yet again or just let it go.

As far as the money matters, I am not going to get the courts involved at this time, it would probably get me the amount owed now which is not great. He is still my childrens father and I don't care to have to deal with it through court if I don't have to, we should be able to resolve this issue on our own. If not I will go to court then.

Anyways thatnks for reading and for the support, it always helps when other lay it out a little differently then we ourselves see it.

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

daybreak,


--I was hurt as I am always the one that is here, and there has been a lot of heres this year and he is the one they think to send something to. I am sure that that would hurt you to!!

TR--My kids did the same thing--and yes, it hurt--
so I changed my perspective--I get to see them everyday, I'm the one they hug and give kisses to all the time, I am the one they come to when they have a problem--not him--why--because that was HIS choice to leave--so if they want to send him a card occassionally to let him know they are still thinking about him--okay--and he's the one who has to live with only getting an occassional card or phone call--not me--and I can accept it easier because it was HIS choice to leave--and if that's all he get's from them--that's his fault--

--Sometimes in anger we do things or say things that we wouldn't normally say or do!!!

TR--Yes, that's true--which is why we go back and apologized--as you said you did--

--however I can be upset by that rude behavior, he was not like this in the past. He is being pulled very hard to behave in the way that he is.

TR--Granted he may not have been this way in the past--but being caught up in sin can make a person do things they wouldn't normally do--and it may not be that strong a pull anymore--

--I guess the question I was raising is do I e mail yet again or just let it go.

TR--Let the e-mail go--you've asked him--he's refused to respond--so let the court's handle it--
He'll learn in time that if he doesn't respond--
the court's will make him--

--He is still my childrens father and I don't care to have to deal with it through court if I don't have to, we should be able to resolve this issue on our own. If not I will go to court then.

TR--And yes, I agree you should be able to handle this as adults--but he's not acting adult like--
and so I'll ask you--how long are you going to wait and continue to "try" to work it out? You need a set time table so that YOU are not continually frustrated by his lack of action--
because in that frustration--he's in essence controlling an aspect of YOUR life--

And as far as his new-wife's name going on their cards--look at this way--when you remarry--I know you may not be thinking that is a possibility at this time--but it is a very real possibility for the future---how do you think you'd respond or feel if you were told your name couldn't go on your step-children's gifts or cards?