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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 3
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Since my husband said he wants to give up everything to "live the single life" I haven't been able to eat, sleep or think straight. We have kids, and he said his single life is more important than physical things. I'm having a hard time believing all of this, this is not his style. He says he loves me, but not "in love with me". I don't see the difference? Why does he keep coming home if he's miserable here?
Did anyone go thru this too? My friends as well as his say he's trying to get my attention. How do I deal with this?
I'm not a very religious person, but I have been praying daily, not only for him, but our boys.
Someone please help! I could use all of prayers God has to hear!

Joined: Feb 2003
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Nervous, I think you'll get more responses if you post in the other forums as well. but wanted to give you a bump up, for people to notice. There are others out there who are going through something very similar. I saw a couple of posts like yours.

hang in there, and take care of yourself, cause no one else will do it for you.

Joined: Feb 2002
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First, get a counselor because you are in for a long ride.
Second, I know I couldnt' concentrate on anything, so I relied on books on tape to help me understand my situation. His Needs/Her Needs can be ordered on tape.
Third, I'd love to have that sudden weight loss again. I just realized I picked up 35 lbs since my stressful period like the one you are in.

Learn and relax. One of the best sayings I learned on these boards is "either you worry or you pray, there's no point in doing both".
So pray for your future, but take this time to learn to improve your life, too.

Joined: May 2002
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We all went through that period of time. I couldn't eat, sleep, just drink water, and I also was losing my father to cancer during my XH affair, and sex with the other woman. This is a normal response, so you are not dealing with something that is an epidemic or anything like that. Yes, you need counseling, and I did manymany walks. I would take my dog for a walk, and I would talk to God. I cried many many hours to God, and I would walk for about 5 miles a day. I lost weight and was actually too thin. Now I have gained the weight back, and am going to try to lose the weight the right way.

You can't concentrate, believe me you can't. Just to try to read the recipe for dinner is difficult. You can't even read the checkbook, and can't add or subtract. You can't even take phone messages without messing them up too. It is so tough, and this is a stressful time and it takes a toll on you.

Get counseling, and a good friendship support group going. My Xh didn't want me talking to anyone about this. And I didn't for his sake. But eventually I had to, cause I was breaking down so quickly. So I told him that I had to, and that is exactly what I should of done in the beginning. The Harleys say the same thing. Get a good social group that is supportive to you, they will help you and be there for your call.

Find something to get rid of the anger, the hostile feelings, and be it exercise or maybe taking karate.

Your road is going to be difficult, rough, and uncertain. Keep reading here, there is a lot of good advice, and many of us have gone through what you have. I wouldn't want this on my worst enemy. It is so draining.

Joined: Jan 2004
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I was you 357 days ago!
...and it lasted awhile, I went to and continue to see a counselor. Today weeks and weeks go by without a tear, I'm sure the well hasn't run dry and when we finally work though the financial issues and court says it's over there will be some sad days ahead (that's OK, it's a sad thing).I thought "I" was so together before 2/28/03, ha ha.... I fell apart like a house of cards. (When I couldn't, other people prayed for me.) If it wasn't for my daughter (13) I think I might have given up, but I didn't! Reach out if you can. I've always believed in God but, only went to church on holidays.today my faith has multiplied and my being (?) is in harmony (NOT to be confused with PERFECT). It REALLY does get better. Don't make ANY important decisions if you don' have to until you can feel the ground under your feet. One of the most valuable lessons I've learned (to date) is that we don't have a lot of control over the "junk" life throws at us, but we have a lot of say in how we react to it. If you can try to get some kind of support network for yourself and your boys. I don't know when but it will get better. (It could get a little worse before that happens though????) Feeling bad stinks! If you have insurance you may want to see your Doctor. If there aren't any addiction issues a Dr. may be able to recommend RX to get through in the short term, BUT you really have to be careful!
It's not much but, ((((you))) and your family will be in my prayers tonight. There's only One who sees the whole picture.


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