Problem du jour:
My attorney has recommended that I have a "lifestyle analysis" done by an accountant expert to calculate what I should be getting in alimony to live in the lifestyle I was accustomed to in my long term marriage. Attorney said that it will be better to have such figures coming from an expert CPA than to have lifestyle figures submitted by myself. This is not a cheap endeavor... in fact, they bill at the same rate as an attorney, so the total is quite significant.
I told STBX that I was having this done and that funds had to be withdrawn for the payment and he was extremely angered. He phoned me the next day to tell me that he did not "authorize" the funds or the analysis. (Payment is coming from joint funds.) I have no idea what technicality is attached to that.. other that it is what his atty told him to tell me... any idea on what this actually means?

While I can understand the anger, surely I will do something that my atty has specifically requested of me. I'm sure that this will be followed in a day or two by some revengeful action that is meant to teach me a lesson.. Cant' wait for the other shoe to drop. Living in the same house with an angry spouse is not the best situation to be in....

Wouldn't you do what your attorney asked you to do to put yourself in the best possible financial situation?

Living in the same home -- separated -- and paying for bills etc.

Paying for something like this -- no sweat. I too lived in the same situation and he used *joint* funds to wine and dine his girlfriends, fly around Canada -- and when it came to the end of it all, I had to pay for half of it all.

So hon......use the money and get the accouting done. Tell him the judge will straighten it out in the end. :-)

Wouldn't you do what your attorney asked you to do to put yourself in the best possible financial situation?


Not necessarily, attorneys generally do not have your best interest at heart, they live for billings, for themsleves, and their buddies....not only will you pay for the analysis, you will be paying even more cause your attorney will charge to set-up, manage, and review the analysis as well.

However, that does not mean it shouldn't be done...but first I would ask your stbx for an alternative solution....in other words, make you an offer. If the offer seems reasonable and fair to you, why spend money and create more conflict.

Since you are still using the same account, this action could be the trigger that causes your STBX to withdraw his half of the joint funds.
1. Can you live on half of the account until the time this is all resolved?
2. In our state, all must complete a CIS - client information statement. This gives an idea of the costs to maintain the household, etc. Why wouldn't this be sufficient in your case? Do you have such extreme expenditures that you need a lifestyle check? In most cases, these are recommended in the case of a child with special needs. My attorney was against unnecessary expenditures, such as to value my X's business (to which I contributed).
3. Does your atty have your best in mind?

As a hardcore cynic as a result of the bitterness of this marriage the past few years, I too thought this request is just for billing purposes. But my attorney explained to me why it would be to my advantage to have the expert figure out the alimony for me.

newly, in fact, this could cause a reaction of pulling funds from the joint funds, which would necessitate a pendente lite request for temporary support orders. While this would increase billing on both sides even more.. if this is the action taken then I will have to respond.

Additionally, Newly, I am glad to hear you say that your atty was frugal with spending... since you and I have the same atty. I guess this makes me feel even more confident in the fact that he thought it truly was imperative to have the expert calculate the lifestyle analysis (as opposed to simply using my CIS numbers) There are extenuating circimstances as I have been disabled for 10 years, and of course Soc. Sec. disability is minimal in contrast to what one needs to live on.
STBX has been in a fury since the analysis was begun. I don't think that he thought that we (atty and me) meant real business on this. Up until this point, he has approached the whole thing so laxidaisical... not replying or producing on a timely basis... basically ignoring all authority (his atty, my atty, court ordered dates to respond by, meeting to attend in county for parenting, preparation for child custody mediation, etc etc.) This was like a slap in the face to him, when he thinks that he should really be the one in control. (He NEEDS to control)
I'm sure it will have negative impact, at least in communication breakdown. However, I have to say to myself that my atty was correct in ordering this and knows what is my best interest......