Communication is the key for us. I want to communicate, but I guess I sometimes want to get to the point too fast. She doesn't want to communicate with me. I don't want to be right, just happy. I mean when you have someone else communicating using vulgar language, its hard to stay calm. The counselor said that communication & 'reading minds' is what our problems stem around. This was last year. I did't try to 'control' her. She did whatever she wanted & when she wanted. I'm not looking for pity. I'm trying to be as balanced about this as possible. I want to know how I can talk to her. But the lack of communication is still there. She never told me she was unhappy until that day, out of the blue. We went to a nice restaurant the wekend before, nice evening, next day intimate, etc. All that next week I email her, sending her little love notes etc. We talked on the phone every night. The next weekend, we are intimate & then she tells me. Thats not communication. Thats just working it out on your own. I could tell last year while we lived apart, things seemed ok on the outside, but I knew something was wrong. Who knows what was going on during that time. We emailed each other & called every day. I cam home on the weekends. My emails had smiley faces & "love you" on every one I sent her. She never initiated emails. She said she liked it when she had an email waiting for her in the morning. I wanted to do that for her. But inside I was hurting, b/c it seemed I didn't get it back in return. I believe the cake-eater thing really describes what was going on.
Believe me, I want to change myself to make her happy. But does she(your H) want to do the same for me(you)? I want to learn how to communicate better. The counselor & I thought things were OK when we concluded in mid october. She even told a co-worker that the counseling helped our situation. She said that at the beginning of January. Two weeks later....
