My WW left home about a month ago when I found out she was having an EA or possible PA with a co worker. She took most of the household furnishings and of course the children. I begged and pleaded for the first 2 weeks for her to come back home but now I just mention as to whether or not is there a chance of reconciliation. Her response is not right now or that is not what I want, I am trying to find myself. I just agree with her. she cannot understand why I changed the locks the day after she left when we had aggreed that she would tell me the day she was moving out. While I have not been the best husband over the years and have had issues of my own, I have tried to do the best I can in terms of taking care of her and I thought I met at least some of her needs. I have been making some very important changes in my life even before she left and feel pretty good about me. I just cannot feel better about this situation because I get no hope from her at all. We have been married for 17 years and I do not want a divorce. We both have areas of improvement but they are not things that cannot be overcome. How can I implement a plan A when she is out of the house and barely wants to talk to me. Should I just moev to plan B. I just don't know what to do next. Need some guidance.

Phoenix, 17 years with children is a long time and certainly worth fighting over! But, it's hard when your emotions are weak and you receive resistance from her, etc. I'm really not sure what specific advice to give you right now other than to encourage you to hold on to whatever hope you have. No one knows the future, so I can't say that you will or won't be reconciled, but I do believe that it can happen and is possible.

Here are a couple of books you might went to check out: "How to Win YOur Wife Back Before It Is Too Late" by Gary Smalley and "How to Save Your Marriage Alone" by Ed Wheat. Also there are a couple of marriage reconciliation websites that were a huge help and blessing to me: www.restorem.org (read their story!) and www. rejoiceministries.org They are both Christian sites so I'm not sure if that will interest you. I know that for me, my faith in God and knowing that He was with me, helping me, gave me strength and helped me to endure.

You might also want to post this on the Infedelity threads... alot of people there are either in Plan A or B or have experienced it and might be able to give you some specific advice in that direction.

God bless.

Too early for Plan B. Its "only" been a month.
Plan A is the way to go first. You must give her a safe place to come home too.

Plan B is for when you no longer care for her to come home.

Hang in!

LMX, I have joined restore ministries but the not so funny thing about it is that when I ordered the materials it seems that the post office changed my address to hers so I am trying to get that resloved. I have changed the locks but I offered her a key and will try again later this week when the kids come home for the weekend. We spoke last night and I did my best to talk about safe topics and almost no talk of getting back together. Just that maybe someday we would both want to be together again. Her response is usually not right now but this time she said maybe. Hope I am not reading too much into that. She called again this morning to tell me to be careful driving to work because of the weather, I thought that was interesting since she called so early when ususally she will sleep as late as possible to get the kids off to school. I will work more on a Plan A with her and will hope for the best. It is hard for me because I am a problem solver at work and function in that mode most often but matters of the heart just don't work that way. I have got a lot of learning to do but I am capable of making the changes and have them last.