Okay I have posted before but this time it is for real. I caught up with WH and OW. The short story is he chose her and now I'm here.

This afternoon I received the papers from his lawyer. I do not agree with what was on the papers. I have a meeting with my lawyer tomorrow morning.

Right now I am in a state of shock. Sometimes the shock is good because I know that my son and I will be better off. But then I'm shocked about what my WH has taken away from me.

Okay enough I just needed to vent.
j

P.S. WH papers reads - "reasonable visitation upon reasonable notice to me."

So what does that mean? What kind of visitation/custody or other items should I ask for?

<small>[ February 25, 2004, 04:29 PM: Message edited by: r & j ]</small>

<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:46 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

I agree with Kit, get everything spelled out in writing. I didn't do that and my x takes advantage of that as much as possible. I het her montky work schedule a week in advance of the new month. I just got her March schedule yesterday. So while I am the custodial parent, I have to work my work schedule around hers. Big mistake on my part.

I am starting to travel more for work, and willdo so as they just "down sized" 250 people and plan another down sizing of 250, so I want to make myslef invaluable to the company. But x only takes the kids on her days off. She works 12 shifts, 2-4 days per week and no weekends. Also to her Fri is not a weekend. Her weekends run Sat thru Mon. So any break I get is on Sat and Sun.

So you need, clear, written out procedures/plans. A big thing my x did was drop the kids off at meal time, she wouldn't feed them and I would have too.

My x asked for basic visitation too which is, everyother weekend and once per week, usually Wed. I allowed visitation when ever x was off. I did say no this year when she asked if she could have the kids every weekend since she doesn't work weekends. I said no, as I want some fun time too.

Protect youself here!

Great ideas.
Two good books on the topic, with suggested parenting plans are:
Mom's House/Dad's House
How to help your child cope with divorce the Sandcastle's way.

Be specific. You will want to go out on your nights without son, and you'll need to know whenyou are available.
We also included divorce adjustment counseling for the kids in our settlement, and who pays for it.
Also, we kept childcare (ie. afterschool) outside of the CS calculations and set who pays for what.
Future music or sports should also be discussed.
And how far away can you move? be specific.

In my state both parents get joint legal custody, and one gets PPR parent of primary residence, the other Parent of alternate residence. More states are moving toward 50/50 custody based on parental involvement and ability to cooperate. Many fathers fight for custody even if they weren't involved before because they think the children are property (my lawyer's words about my x) or because they want to minimize CS. AFter a while, you will enjoy your "nights off".

Read the books.

Thanks for the great advice. I did forget to mention that our son is 7 1/2 months old. Should there be a different type of visitation with such a young child?
j

<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:48 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

Get the recommended books, they spell it out by age, and at 7.5 months, no overnights!