Is it ok for me to have sex with my ex-husband? We have decided to reconcile. Please support your answer with scriptures, if you can. Thanks.

MS, I don't see why not. If you want scripture to support that there probably is none but if you believe that your marriage is still a covenant ordained by God and cannot be broken by man then there is your answer. Are you trying to get back together or just have needs? Are you expecting this to lead to something more? I would encourage you to consider these and more if you have not.

I would agree with the other poster. Do you feel your divorce was with GOD approval? Do you feel you are still married to your XH? Also, why do you want to have sex with your XH? Are you doing this so that he will love you and want to come back to you? Or are you doing this cause you really love your Xhusband? There are many issues that you are having to deal with. Sex, is something that is not to be taken mildly. This is something that is a love between two people who love each other and have made a committment. GOD does not want you to have sex, unless you are man/wife. Otherwise, you are to save yourselve for your husband. So therefore, you are in a odd sense of sort.

If I were you, I would date, have fun, and then state you already know what it is like to have sex with me. You already know my emotional needs for the sex. I would rather, that we made a committment before GOD, then we can continue on with sex as man/wife.

I see that you two might be using sex as seeing if it is a emotional need to be filled. Just my thought.

Yes, by all means your marriage was before God, your divorce was by man. As long as you still love each other, I see no problem.
And sexual fulfilment is an emotional need.

Microsoft, I'm assuming you are a Christian and concerned about obeying God since you ask for Scripture. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

That is a really hard question, but I'd have to say that no, it's not okay... simply because legally, you are divorced. God does acknowledge divorce. If He did not acknowledge divorce and marriage, then I suppose we could just be married or divorced w/o certificates & ceremonies. God holds us to the law of the land... in other words, if the land (law/courts) says we are divorced and there is a divorce cert., then we are divorced. I do believe that in God's eyes the bond of marriage that He created is not nullified, unless perhaps it's been broken by sexual infedelity (in which case, it says "you are not bound.") That's why He says in 1 Cor. to the separated: "stay single or be reconciled." But notice that he does say "be reconciled."

Anyways, I'm sure if it were me in your shoes, I'd really struggle with it. But I do think that if you wait until you remarry, well.. I think that would be better. The only Scriptures that I would offer to you would be those that talk about not having sex outside of marriage. You really aren't married right now. I think that God still views your husband as your husband, but you ended the marriage and need to reenter it to again to be legally married.

I have read some explanations by others who've explained much better than I am! I will try to see if I can find what they've said.

Congratulations on deciding to reconcile! That is truly wonderful! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

On the practical side, what about STDs??? If he was unfaithful, has he been tested?? Getting an STD in my opinion will make reconciliation tougher.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the responses. You have given me more to think about. My ex did cheat on me, but that did not cause me to file for divorce. I actually wanted to stay with him even after I found out about the infidelity. But I separated myself and later filed for divorced because I felt the Lord had released me to. I was recently reunited with my ex after a little over 4 years. I never really had closure and decided to call him and really forgive and release him of all of his wrong-doing. My ex apologized and by the end of the conversation we made plans to meet each other for dinner. I slept with him the second time I saw him, because I wanted to. I had always loved him. We have a special bond. He was my first everything and since our separation and divorce, I had not been with another man. When we saw each other all of these emotions just rushed back in and I love him even more than before. We have both changed a lot for the better (more open and honest with each other). I am so glad that he's back in my life. When I had sex with my ex, I felt no conviction (not to say that my actions weren't wrong), but I felt so comfortable. I feel God has brought us back into each other's lives and I want everything to be done RIGHT. Pray for me please! Thanks again for all of the responses. God bless.

Microsoft,
Congratulations on reconciling! What a wonderful thing God has done for you. A word of caution however. I, like Lovemyex, believe that you need to wait until marriage to start your sexual relationship again. Although a very unpopular opinion, I believe that God's will is for sex to be between a husband and his wife. Until you are joined again in matramony, you are not his legal wife.

There's a great website you should check out. www.restorem.org. This couple was divorced and remarried, after infidelty. They share their story on the webpage.

I advise to you is to pray about this. Ask for forgiveness if you are so lead. Don't get ahead of yourself and don't get in the way of what God wants to do. Let God finish this wonderful gift He's given you by saying "I do" first. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Blessing

ButILovEu,

I don't want to "hijack" this thread but I am interested in your "story" and where you are "at" right now. I actually read a few of your past posts to find out. What sparked my interest is that you are a Christian and familiar with Restore Ministries (I am a "member"-- not sure, member is the right word-- there and also of Rejoice Ministries).

I need to get going right now, but I will try to remember to start a thread to you but on the Prayer Request forum. Or if you would like, you can start one to me (if you don't feel comfortable, I understand).

I would like to ask you some questions about your situation (from what I read in some of your past posts back in 2002) because I think there are some similarities to mine... sort of. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Back in 2002, it sounded like you were "standing" but weary and unsure. Did you and your husband ever reconcile? What has happened since then?

God bless and I will start a thread to you in Prayer Requests, but prob. not until either tom. eve. or the next day.

LoveMyEx,

What can I tell you? Are you wanting to talk on here or privately?

Let me know.