My ex has paid child support sporadically this past year, and is now $4,000 behind. I've been working with Child Support Recovery in my state, Iowa. I am so frustrated.....they let him get away with lie after lie, quitting jobs, etc. THey threaten him with loss of license, jail, etc., but never actually do it. I"m at the end of my rope.....trying to support 3 children on $800 a month isn't working.

Since the divorce 2 years ago, he has bought a 2002 pickup truck, a pool table, Bose stereo system, large screen tv, Harley Davidson, and remodeled the attic into living quarters. He must have money somewhere.

I talked to legal aid, but they said it's CSR's department. Now a friend tells me he knows a PI who can "push the right buttons" and get the money, but I"m hesitant about that.

Any suggestions?

I'd go talk to the Prosecuting Attorney. In my state (WV), once a father gets so far behind on CS payments, it's a misdemeanor (I think $4000). Once the amount reaches $8000, it's felony abandonment. You just have to get a bench warrant. It might be worth looking into.

Mitzi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Find out where he works and have them take it directly out of his check. In Michigan my CS is taken directly out of my check. They should also be able to take it out of his tax refund if he is behind.

Don't forget to look into agencies within your state that have advocates for child support changes in government. They might have some letters you can send off to your congressman or senator, and heck... don't forget the prez! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'm in Ontario, and we have a similar agency to your CSR office. Ours is called the FRO (Family Responsibility Office, which I think can include spousal support payments too).

I can totally relate to your frustrations. I too have 3 children to raise, and their dad is not paying his child support either. As of today, he is owing $4120. He apparently received a notice that the FRO would be taking away his drivers licence if he didn't pay up or make payment arrangements... so he suddenly got back to them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> His very first payment is supposed to be in by the end of March sometime. I have a strong gut feeling that something is going to happen, and it won't come through.

What I've done, well, what I"m really TRYING to do, is to come to terms with the fact that my stbxH is a deadbeat dad. And b/c of this, I cannot rely on him for ANYTHING. Nothing, nada, zilch. Anything my boys are going to get, it's going to be from me. Tuition for college or university? Me. Clothing? Me. Sports leagues? Me. Prom Tuxedoes? Me. You name it? Me.

Who gets to see them graduate? Me. Who helps teach them how to dress and look good? Me. Who gets to cheer them on? Me. Who gets to have photos upon photos of important events or just everyday stuff? Me. Who gets to look in on them every night, knowing I'm doing my best? Me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Karen

For most of the past year he has claimed to be unemployed, yet does not get unemployment compensation. In IA they do automatically garnish wages, but he is not on record as being employed.

He was driving truck last I knew; perhaps he's found a way to get paid cash?