I did not know exactly where to post this, but my H of 33 years left me to find out if he really wanted to be married. He said that at age 56 he needs to make a change now,if indeed he is going to. He had an affair and has stopped seeing her,but I know he contacted her over his phone. I told him that to my mind that was still cheating and he just went very still and quiet but refused to discuss it. He said he'd been unhappy for a long time, as have I, but when I'd try to talk about this he's turn cold and distant. We eventually grew far apart. But I really want this marriage and he will not commit to even try to save it. He won't come home saying it would be to the smae old stuff and it would not. I've been working on myself, I've been very loving to him, I've agreed to give him hi space. But I cannot stand this waiting. We see each other every day as we teach in the same school. He also makes many excuses to comt to the house. We go to the grandkisds together, we go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. I did not want naything legal at this time and he said the some. Then I found an e-mail to a woman friend who's been through this where he said he was leaning towrd doing something legal and that I wnated him back but he could not and would not go back to the same old life. I feel I have been kicked in the gut again. I've really tried to convince hin through kind words and actions that the old marriage is dead and we could try to build a new, and better one.
But he won't hear of it but he keeps coming around. I am confused and have begun to cry more. The pain is almost unbearable. Please help me!! Scotti [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

HI,,,Im sorry scotti,,I am going thru the same thing,and heavens it sure does hurt like nothing ive ever felt. I think at this stage,im angry,and pretty close to telling him to just do it,and get it over with. We married in 1989,I was 19,he was 20,and had an awesome marriage up till a year ago. I have to say that I love this guy,heart and soul,apparently he doesnt love me any more? go figure...I certainly feel your pain...It helps to talk to others who are feeling the same feelings..
TAKE care of YOU!! (((huggggs)))
Boots