My WW who has left with the children because of neglect and other personal issues (me) and her A insitsts I sign separation papers. I really want us to try to work on things but because she left w/o money and her support network is failing is really putting the pressure on me. Is there anything I can do or say to turn this around. I tried Plan A for 1 1/2 mos before she moved but lost it when I found out about the A. I have given her some money to this point but because of the bills in the house I just am not able to do so yet. She is not hearing me on this, just wants it now.

Pheonix_66,

She had A, She left, She took your children. If she needs you so much, why did she do this?

What does she need money for. Make her tell you what she needs and if you feel it's appropriate(like food for you children), buy it for her and keep the reciepts.

I am in a similar situation where my W expects to move on with her life as she wishes, as long as I pay for it. Well that aint happenin.

The way I feel is if your W wants her independence then that is what she should have, however, don't let your children suffer for it.

Keep good track of what is going on. Perhaps the children will be better off with you.

Good Luck
WIWH

WIWH -I agree about the kids being with me but she feels she is such a great mom. HUH? I feel like I am being raliroaded into this. She knows I have plenty on her and could likely win a custody battle. (A, crimial activity, abandonment, etc). I have been trying to avoid this because I really would like us to try and work out our differences although sometimes I wonder why(love is weird that way) but she will just not give. I guess it is the FOG and pillow talk. I find it funny though that the OM is not helping her now as he probably inclined.

How bad are things for her right now. Do you need to do something or is she just trying to get something out of you.

Don't forget, this is the road that she chose. Not you.

Stick to your plan A but don't be a door mat for her.

Let her know that you care for her but cannot do the impossible.

How involved was she in your family finances. Does she understand your financial abilities?

WIWH - She has to pay the rent and other bills right now. During the M she was as distant a possible when time to pay the bills. I took care of most of them while she paid the insurance for health and car B/C it come directly out of the paycheck. She knows how mcuh I make but I am not sure if she is aware what I pay montly. She always had access to that info but ignored it. For some reason she and the outlaws think I have money somewhere and that I amholding out. Not true, I just practice fiscal resp.

I tried talking to her and letting her know what I can do at the moment but it is just too upsetting to her. She really thought she could strong arm me into her plan.

This is the road she chose and I told her not to leave but she says the opposite. She is immature for her age and I guess that is why she wants her freedom so bad. Well she has it and it is not all it is cracked up to be when you have a welfare mentality.

I chose to make changes and sacrifices during the M to make sure we all had a better standard of living. I encouraged her to do the same but she never acted on it now I am supposed to pay for her lack of initiative. I am having a tough time with that.

For some reason WW's tend to think that they can just leave and "Take you for everything" but it doesn't really work that way.

Too much TV I guess. If we were all Donald Trump then everyone would be divorced. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Are you in a position to take on the care of your children. You and your children is all that you should be thinking about right now.

as for her, you only need to show her the person that you are, not the personn that she wants you to be.

If she has a change of heart, it needs to be because of who you are, not because she can't make it on her own.

Maybe you should ask her if she would try to work on M if you try to help her out.Actually you should only ask to work on your R with each other. The M word might push her away. Any reason to get a WS to work on a M is a good one if the end result is worth it.

It's your call, you know your situation and how she would respond to something that sound slike an ultimatum