Is it just me, or do our WS/ xWS and OP just gloss over the facts they've ripped apart a marriage and family?

I got handed more and more pure fog today from the most selfish man in the world.

"We should work in being flexible with each other and if something comes up with me, then you can get son and if you get tickets to a show or something then I will watch son for you."

"We need to learn to get along and be friends..our child needs to see that we're ok with this". (that was in November..referring to me becoming "friends" with his preggo OW/W)

"Why can't you have a realtionship with me like my Ow/W has with her xBF (father of her child)?"..well that might be because 1)they never married 2)don't have a longstanding history and family 3)he didn't want to marry her 4)their was no for sure OP as they weren't married thus no cheating in the Biblical sense. 4)OW helped break up M along with my xh. I like this...the apples to oranges comparison.

"I really think one day we will be good friends". Really? He said to me one reason he had cheated with the other women was because we weren't good enough friends. Now after our M is no more and our family apart he wants to be friends? He had 10 years to be my friend. Do you screw your friends out of hundreds of thousands of dollars either? Do you wreck your friend's credit to boot?

"My family is good with things NOW..it's a shame that your grandparents and relatives are not. They're the ones who have the issues." Referring to when he called up my very elderly grandparents back home and tried to come over to visit with my son. My grandparents said drop off our great grandson for a visit but we don't want to see you Jethro. Geez. The fog amazes me still. My family has the problem. No mind. HIs family is great about it. I guess b/c his dad had three documented affairs on his mom and almost left her 2 years ago too. The family that cheats together, eats together I guess...

"Our son is doing fine with everything and B%a#l#y is our son's best new friend. Why can't you see the good in this?"...Referring to how OW/W's 4 yo son was forced into life of my child..forced to share a bedroom wtih him and he would come over to his dad's house and see OW child playing with his toys. Son says he wishes child would go away and that he doesn't like him..

I thought this would be a good thread. Many people here are getting handed this stuff by their stbx's..It's all the same. Same stuff we're handed about how "we" have the problems and "we" aren't just trying to get along...Once the WS gets their way and moves in with OP, the charade begins until it runs out of gas. I personally just don't fuel their lies. I am decent and deal wtih it, but don't justify it in any way. That's my way of dealing with it.

Newbies here..your sitch's aren't unusual.

I dont know why this just popped in my head this morning, but I am still amazed by this conversation with X.

we were having somewhat tense discussion prior to the divorce and X said:

"I dont know why just just dont cooperate so this can go smoothly"

I said:

"I guess Ill just cooperate about as much as you did throughout the whole marriage, and marriage counseling"

His mouth just dropped open and conversation ended. He knew that his total cooperation throughout the whole 26 years was pretty darn close to zero. Even when he seemed to be cooperating, it would only be on a level if it was beneficial to him somehow.

When he stepped past the point of no return, my cooperation was focused totally on what was best for me and my children.

<small>[ March 06, 2004, 06:57 AM: Message edited by: sunrise1 ]</small>

BTW..he accused me of not cooperating with the papers, when in fact everything I had to do was done in a timely manner and was turned in before deadlines. It was his lawyer who would not return calls to my lawyer and was slowing things down.

How about...
"If you want me back, you are really going to have to work at it and prove it to me. I'm going to make it really hard too!"
This after we signed the Divorce Papers and she was already ENGAGED to be remarried to her OM...
Go Figure!
Stoopit + Stoopit + even STOOPITER!
Harold
Postscript: I pawned my Wedding Band 3 days later - she just WASN'T worth it!
5 1/2 years later... she's STILL not worth it!
I doubt she'll EVER be worth it...
What-ever...

<small>[ March 06, 2004, 08:07 PM: Message edited by: Sauron TDL ]</small>

my story is a little different, X thinks our son should accept OW and be friends with her kids. X said that his son should accept MOW because my oldest accept him. oldest son could not stand X and never did accept him into our family. son called him a redneck from AL. X made him feel like he could not do anything right. I caught X giving my oldest nasty looks, he did this later with my granddaughter that may her cry.

X told his son all about MOW when he was 11, now he wants him to accept the woman dad said he slept with? this woman also tried her best to have me arrested, thank God the sheriff in town saw what was going on. X was a police officer & used his girlfriends.

X has not had time with his son since 5-02, hide MOW until last month, she came to court with him for a straining order for calling our home with threating messages. wont pay court order medical and school on son but wonders why son wont see him.

son has said if he meets OW 3 boys he will tell them what a whore their mother is and they should know about the A. son will be 15 next month & wants no part of her or her kids or dad. OW & X told her kids I was mean & would not let X see his child. they were young when parents D & are now asking questions about why their mom left dad to be with another man.

X is still hiding from son that he is M to OW. son has told dad how he feels about OW & her kids but X blames me. I do not bring up dad name at our home, I do not talk bad about X. Ive started over with my life & could care less what X & OW are doing.

Biggest lie of them all (for reference see my above other topic)...

"I don't want a divorce becaue of Monkeyho...It's NOT about her...It's about how WE don't get along anymore. None of this is in any way related to she and I. You and I just don't get along."

Geez.

I was told that. We divorced. He immediately remarried OW. Now he's cheating on OW again but still lying to me, the former wife, about it too. He's back with the other OW.

My brain hurts from that.

Except for the names, my story is an exact carbon copy of Peachy's. Oh, he DID add that he didn't NEED anybody.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

He only admitted to me a few weeks ago that he did in fact leave us to be with his OW, now wife. Made me feel better in a strange way, because then I knew I wasn't crazy, paranoid neurotic of any of those other names he called me at the time when I called him on it.

The strangest thing of all is when he wanted to reconcile and I turned him down. Six weeks later he married OW. Later I asked him if the offer had been genuine, how could he turn around and marry her....he said he had to do SOMETHING <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

All gone, in the past and getting funny to think back about these days....I laugh at his ridiculous behaviour, and he is ashamed of it. Just trying to get along now for the kids' sake, and we are doing okay.

Love and light,

Jacky

last summer in a discussion the STBX said He didn't think I liked him anymore...... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I don't know he did and said so many things. Probably one of the most memorable however was about a year ago. My newly engaged XH got out of jail after sitting a month for a third offense DUI. I thought he was supposed to be getting out the next day when suddenly he called after the kids had gone to bed. He told me he was out of jail and lonely he asked me how things were going with my BF. When I told him that they were going very well he asked if I was sure. When I told him I was he told me that his life stunk and he was really missing his family. I told him that I really didn't know what to say and that I had to get going. He called back five minutes later asking if I needed some company. When I told him I had no clue what he was talking about he asked me if I needed some "stud service." I told him I was fine and didn't. He then told me he didn't go to work for another two hours and all I had to do was call if I changed my mind. I told him not to wait by the phone and hung up. Three days later I dropped the kids off by him and there was the OW home from college for the weekend sticking by his side all smug flashing her ring finger. All I could think was you sucker, you really have no clue.

Here we are a year and a half later they are planning a summer wedding. She still is standing by her man. I am civil to her, but it is very difficult as she is out to prove herself the perfect fiancee, stepmother material, etc. She is very controlling and constantly making snide remarks about how she thinks things should be done and my XH has the nerve the other day to tell me that I really should get over things and be thankful that I have her to take such great care of my kids. Hello?

Take care and God bless!
K

Well I haven't gotten far enough for all these good ones you others have, but I did as STBXW why she hasn't done anything yet(after 6 Months) if this D was so important to her and she simply said

"I don't know how"